Would you work full time to gain £42.19 a week compared with benefits?

anewman

tigtag02 wrote: »

It's not about the value of money but the value of self worth.
...

No-one in the world is owed a living, I'll never understand why so many think they are!!

But what value of self worth do I get making a full time job out of trying to get a job and getting nowhere. Don't know about you but it makes me feel like a pile of worthless s***. It makes me feel like I don't deserve a job. Because if I did surely I'd have got one?! Also what would my self-worth be like doing crap minimum wage jobs slogging it out picking and packing in various locations every night 11pm till 10am when I am capable of so much more?!

I'm not owed a living, of course not, but someone should have given me a job by now after all the applications I have made and the effort put in. If I expected something to be owed I wouldn't have placed so much effort in trying to get a job and would have sat on my !!!! 24/7 watching crap TV like big brother. I wouldn't have bothered going to college to do maths and english GCSE after not taking them at school and being recommended not to do them at college by a careers advisor who suggested he thought I was incapable. Wouldn't have done A levels or gone to University.

I have come a long way since I stopped going to school because of bullying. The next step is to get a job but all I face is the same problem time and again, which I would call needless discrimination, because I have weak skills in one area. Being in a wheel chair is an obvious disability and helps tick some boxes for employers who need to employ a certain amount of people to try prove they are not discriminating, and they can put in nice ramps and height adjustable desks. But if you're not a great communicator you're just no good for the job and they can just choose not to bother with you, simple as. There's got to be other people who have experienced the same difficulties with social interaction and interviews/job seeking. Can't just be me.

I guess my point about the £42.19 compared with benefits is really should I go to so much effort to get a crap job (minimum wage) when I am capable of so much more yet have difficulty getting either a crap job or a worthwhile job.

Savvy_Sue

It seems to me that you can either sit there thinking you're not worth a lot because after all this effort you can't get a job

OR

you could work on the things which you think are preventing you getting a job.

Are you getting any help through the jobcentre?

Whether you are or not, it might be worth getting in touch with your local volunteer bureau and seeing if anyone is after your particular skillset. I've worked with volunteers over a number of years and in various different situations, and we've certainly made room for a few people who you probably wouldn't immediately offer a job to, for a whole range of reasons. And I've been a volunteer: I've picked up skills which have enabled me to apply for MUCH better jobs than would otherwise have been the case, including staff supervision which scared me half to death but I found I could do it.

A charity should be able to refund your expenses without it affecting your benefit, if that would make a difference, and as long as it doesn't prevent you looking for work and taking up work if offered, that shouldn't be a problem either.

frugalpam

LittleVoice wrote: »

Quote:
Originally posted by Mizz_Pink: Have a look at Learn Direct online, I looked earlier at improving my IT skills and there are lots of courses that you could do, online or at your local centre. I'm sure there would be something suitable that would give you some confidence.


Originally Posted by john.xs
how about a course on interpersonal skills /interview techniques



If you took the trouble to look at the Learndirect website you would have found they offer various courses in the "Management and Personal Skills" category.

Also worth checking whether your local Connexions Service (look in yell.com) offers an adult guidance service. They would work one to one with you and point you towards relevant local contacts / organisations / courses. There's a mass of things out there - finding the appropriate course isn't easy. Learndirects database is notorious for being out of date. Adult Careers Advisers have a wealth of experience and local knowledge, far better than any online database. Jobcentre staff do not employ qualified guidance staff, nor have time to go through the things I've mentioned in the time they're given to spend with clients.

TheWaltons_3

I am quite sure, having read this thread again, that the Original poster has confidence issues more than a desire to sit at home and do nothing.

I would definitely try and resolve past issues with bullying somehow. It is very sad that left school without gaining your GCSE's because of this, however, you are past that now. You have a degree. You aren't a child anymore and wont be bullied in a place of work - most people are so self absorbed they only notice themselves! I say this to my younger sister who is obsessed about her appearance and scared of what people may think about her. How often do we really pay attention to others?! I couldn't tell you much about most people I come across on a daily basis!

As I said before, there are many self help books... different ways of becoming confident.. thinking positively really works! You have to WANT to help yourself, and get out of the rut of self destructive thinking.

Even if you only took a part-time job, something maybe not what you would like ideally... but a bridge to build your confidence.. you never know... you could even get promoted in ASDA!

frugalpam

TheWaltons wrote: »

.....As I said before, there are many self help books... different ways of becoming confident.. thinking positively really works! You have to WANT to help yourself, and get out of the rut of self destructive thinking.

Even if you only took a part-time job, something maybe not what you would like ideally... but a bridge to build your confidence.. you never know... you could even get promoted in ASDA!

Not everyone can learn self confidence from a book
Other courses such as assertiveness training might be a lot more helpful. I personally feel seeking independant, one to one advice is a better starting point to find the right way forward.
Maybe you (i.e. OP) had poor careers advice at school - there are duffers in every profession. I've seen lousy doctors and dentists, but that doesn't mean that there aren't good ones.

Jennifer_Jane

Judging from your posts, I think you have wonderful communication skills, but I realise that it's the face-to-face which perhaps is the problem. If you wanted to describe the problem more specifically, I am sure that people here would have some good ideas.

Have you tried Neurolinguistic Programming (NLP)? That might boost your confidence, self-esteem, creative thinking skills.

In addition, regarding a job paying only £42 per week more than benefits, don't forget the additional benefits that you get with work: companionship, stimulation, healthy discipline, and often the financial benefits of pension, stock options, healthcare, being at work saves on your electricity bills and so on.

Good luck with it all anewman. Everyone hates interviews, but there are definitely techniques to it and someone here should be able to help with it all.

PS - I'm also hopeless at interviews, but I did go through some techniques with an HR friend.

anewman

Savvy_Sue wrote: »

you could work on the things which you think are preventing you getting a job.

I have tried this. There's nothing out there and as I said in first post no magic is going to make it happen. The things preventing me getting a job are part of me and unlikely to change unless I get a job. I have been the same for years, I doubt just because I work on things like you say that anything amazing is going to happen and get me a job. I might put together a more sensible thread asking how people overcame problems similar to my own, "work on it" isn't very constructive and provides little means of help unfortunately.

No doubt there are Cognitive Behavioural Therapists out there who specialise in social anxiety etc who could help but that would be in return for ££££ for their time. Unfortunately money makes the world go round.

But why should I be seen as the problem when I can work perfectly fine and independently (as shown by my first class degree classification)? Why is the problem necessarily with me if I can't get a job because I'm poor at social interaction and it kills off the interviews?! I am able to work and willing, why should the interview stop that happening?!

Why should everyone conform to some sense of normality just because people expect it? I think this site is very interesting. It is the view of a person with Asperger Syndrome (a condition typified by poor social interaction skills) of the world viewing them as a problem. If you read it you will probably get a sense of what they feel about the ignorance of the world around them in having everyone conform to norms and conceptualises this phenomena as a disorder in a ICD10 or DSM-IV diagnostic style write up. I'm not saying I'm unwilling to change. I am saying people expecting people to be "normal" is nothing but complete ignorance in a world full of abnormal people.
http://isnt.autistics.org/

What Is NT?

Neurotypical syndrome is a neurobiological disorder characterized by preoccupation with social concerns, delusions of superiority, and obsession with conformity.

Neurotypical individuals often assume that their experience of the world is either the only one, or the only correct one. NTs find it difficult to be alone. NTs are often intolerant of seemingly minor differences in others. When in groups NTs are socially and behaviorally rigid, and frequently insist upon the performance of dysfunctional, destructive, and even impossible rituals as a way of maintaining group identity. NTs find it difficult to communicate directly, and have a much higher incidence of lying as compared to persons on the autistic spectrum.

NT is believed to be genetic in origin. Autopsies have shown the brain of the neurotypical is typically smaller than that of an autistic individual and may have overdeveloped areas related to social behavior.

I have not been diagnosed with AS myself but it has been mentioned, although I doubt I have seen any specialists who would be able to diagnose me. But as I say if I see my difficulties as part of a syndrome then I'm unlikely to make any effort to change.

Hapless_2

It is the view of a person with Asperger Syndrome (a condition typified by poor social interaction skills) of the world viewing them as a problem

Do you have aspergers? If you do got to the National Autistic Society for some help, if you don't stop using it as an excuse. Not that having aspergers is an excuse anyway. (several members of my family have aspergers and most of them are in good jobs) Just find a job that suits aspergers, repetitive work, working on your own, filing, data entry etc. Not the best jobs in the world but they are jobs! and £42 a week more than benefits is one hel of a lot.

milkydrink

Hapless wrote: »

Do you have aspergers? If you do got to the National Autistic Society for some help, if you don't stop using it as an excuse. Not that having aspergers is an excuse anyway. (several members of my family have aspergers and most of them are in good jobs) Just find a job that suits aspergers, repetitive work, working on your own, filing, data entry etc. Not the best jobs in the world but they are jobs! and £42 a week more than benefits is one hel of a lot.

He's already answered that.

anewman wrote: »

I have not been diagnosed with AS myself but it has been mentioned, although I doubt I have seen any specialists who would be able to diagnose me. But as I say if I see my difficulties as part of a syndrome then I'm unlikely to make any effort to change.

Hes said it enough on this thread. He thinks hes too good to start at the bottom & work at minimum wage. He would "only" be £200 a month better off. Whats £200 aye? Pah peanuts! (to him)

frugalpam

I make it a rule NEVER to wade into threads like this - today is an exception.

None of you know whether or not he/she has a health problem/mental health issue because you have never met him/her. If you doubt whether he/she is genuine or not, avoid the thread. And if he/she has a genuine health/mental health issue, then I hope they get the support they need elsewhere.

Pam