In a (lot of) predicament! Please help.

runforlife

Certainly no need to rush into things. Take your time and write it all down. Can you post a SOA?

By the way I wasn't being judgmental over your debt. Heavens above I can be judgmental enough over my own! It's just that you need to know you have recognised the causal factors so you can deal with it.

Living with this on your own though is tough.

Best wishes.

changeforbetter

runforlife wrote: »

As for DMP then I have had no phone calls and very little contact from my creditors which are Barclaycard, Natwest, MBNA and M&S

Big breath! Good luck!

That is interesting to me especially as two of those (barclaycard,MBNA) are two of mine.

Obviously if I do go down that route I would prefer it to go smoother, even if I do tell the OH about my plans. I must admit one of my worst nightmares is the idea of constant phone calls, as I've got 6 creditors in my list.

runforlife

If you deal with Stepchange/Payplan etc then its very unlikely I believe that you will get any calls.

I have had NO phone calls from ANY of my creditors.

I sent them all the template letter saying I was speaking to SC with a view to entering a DMP. I communicated with Barclay card by secure messaging on their website when payments weren't registered. (My fault - put the wrong card number down DOH! SC and BC sorted that without too much hassle. )

I have not had cause to write to any of the others save that first initial letter that is provided on the SC website when you enter into the DMP.

The relief in managing day to day, week to week living is palpable though it took a while to swallow the resulting credit history trashing!

You will get statements and default notices in the post and some have cancelled online banking with their cards so no more online statements either.

Powered_By_Pies

changeforbetter wrote: »

That is interesting to me especially as two of those (barclaycard,MBNA) are two of mine.

Obviously if I do go down that route I would prefer it to go smoother, even if I do tell the OH about my plans. I must admit one of my worst nightmares is the idea of constant phone calls, as I've got 6 creditors in my list.

Generally speaking if you have a DMP in place there's not a huge amount that creditors can do - it's basically you being honest with them and saying 'look, I don't have the money your original plan asks for every month without it having severe consequences on my personal life, but here's what I can afford to pay each month and i:'m making a conscious effort of repaying, just at my own rate.'

Some will get a bit sarky at times, Natworst send me a letter every now and then 'advising' me to recalculate a repayment in their favour, I always reply by 'advising' them that the amount i'm paying back now is twice the amount per month than the original repayments laid out in their agreements with me before the defaults. Then they go quiet again for a bit.

A DMP is nothing to be ashamed of. I'm like you in that if someone offered me credit in the past, i'd take it. In the case of Natworst, they gave me a credit card with a £2400 limit on it when I was 18 because I mentioned I might do a ski season in my gap year. I didn't use it for 2 years but then needed it for emergencies, and... there you go. The trap was snared.

Something else I'd recommend is setting up a 'repayment diary'. Make a spreadsheet with all your creditors on different tabs, then list the payments you make each month on each tab, and have a running total at the bottom that shows you how much is left to pay. Scary to look at at first, but every month I add the payments and it makes me feel good when I see the total owed to Natworst reduce - i'm now under £2k owed on the credit card, I haven't seen it like that for about 3 years!

Don't expect overnight changes either. That's part of the reason people look at loans, second loans etc... They want to see that amount owed disappear overnight, but it won't. Slow and steady wins the race, in this case.

changeforbetter

Thanks for above - just another quick query - I haven't actually missed/defaulted any payments as yet. Is it at all likely they would view that as an argument against a DMP at all?

i.e. they say, well it seems like you've afforded to pay us up until now?

Vikipollard

Are you sure you need to go down the route of a DMP at all?


If I understood you correctly, you are able to meet your commitments at the moment, but are worried in case the situation changes? But it hasn't yet?


The only reason I ask is that you mentioned being concerned about your credit file being trashed. This will happen regardless if you make reduced payments or enter the formal IVA/Bankruptcy routes.


Could you post up an SOA? You will get lots of help and ideas on here for where it may be possible to cut back. You'll need to prepare one for the debt charities so they can advise what the best route may be for you to consider.

changeforbetter

You are spot on that I'm still not sure about this, that's right.
I have a few reasons to be reluctant, and the main appeal would be that I could potentially get my finances back on track quicker (ie pay off some of my creditors over a shorter period, depending on their agreement of course).

Reason I haven't posted an SOA is because a lot of my money situation is in a constant state of flux at the moment, and I'm reluctant to imagine it settling down, in case it either gets better or worse in different ways. Might make me either too complacent or too worried!

changeforbetter

I should also add that I tend to pay a lump sum every month into our household pot, and my OH deals with most details of expenses taken from our pot (I told you I'm not good with money, so she prefers it that way!).

painted_lady

I just want to say that me and partner always prided ourselves on having separate finances and things were going well for years. He didnt know about any of my debt and eventually I crumbled, I couldn't cope with the pressure and had severe depression, the money situation added to that. Eventually he had to find out and this happened last summer. I was so terrified of him finding out but I had to tell him to relieve the pressure.
He didn't go mad. He didn't shout. Instead, he is supporting me. He isn't happy about it, he wishes I had told him earlier. What I am saying is it might not be as bad as you think to tell your OH and it might stop things getting worse.

changeforbetter

painted_lady wrote: »

I just want to say that me and partner always prided ourselves on having separate finances and things were going well for years. He didnt know about any of my debt and eventually I crumbled, I couldn't cope with the pressure and had severe depression, the money situation added to that. Eventually he had to find out and this happened last summer. I was so terrified of him finding out but I had to tell him to relieve the pressure.
He didn't go mad. He didn't shout. Instead, he is supporting me. He isn't happy about it, he wishes I had told him earlier. What I am saying is it might not be as bad as you think to tell your OH and it might stop things getting worse.

Thanks painted lady - can I ask how much were your own debts, if you want to say, and were you struggling to pay them I presume?

My own reluctance stems partly from the fact that this isn't the first time, and I'm ashamed to say I've broken strong promises over this. Funny thing is I've been an angel with money for more than 6 months now, but I don't feel any better financially.