Decided to seperate.......what's next?

dustystar02

Hello

I'm probably asking a question that has been asked a million times before on these forums so apologies for repetition.

My partner and I have decided to end our relationship. There's a few reasons as to why which I won't go into but it is both mutual consent and all very amicable and mature.....so far, I'm sure there will be a few tricky conversations to come.

So, we have been together for 9 years, are not married, have a 2yo DS, jointly own our home which we have been in for 18 months. We have a very large mortgage. We need to sell as neither of us can afford it alone.

I'm not sure where to go next, do we set an appointment up with our motgage lenders to discuss the disolving of the mortgage? I also need to see what kind of mortgage I can get on my own too? Is that a seperate appointment? Our fixed term ends this august. I'm in a job on a contract until August but is likely to be made permanent at the end of the contract, would a mortgage lender even enetertain the idea of me getting my own mortgage?

Do we need to see a solicitor? We are being very amicable and agree in principle about who is having what and the custody of our son so do we need to involve a solicitor other than the legalities of the house?

Should we contact estate agents about getting our house on the market now or after we've met our lenders? Are we both stuck in the house until it sells as neither of us want to move until it is into our new homes. Could I get a loan to use as a deposit on a new home that I can pay back once our homes sells?

I honestly don't know where to start to get the ball rolling.

Any help greatfully received.

BitterAndTwisted

You cannot "dissolve" a mortgage, and I don't understand what you might mean by that. You either sell the property or one of you acquires a new mortgage in their sole name and settles the old mortgage by doing so.

One complication that I can see is, if neither of you are able to acquire a mortgage on this property alone, how are you both going to provide a roof over your child's head? This is a joint-responsibility, not just of the parent who the child happens to live with.

One could foretell, that as soon a your ex realises that she can't afford a mortgage on this property in her sole name she could decide to sit tight and not agree to a ale at all until the child ceases to be a dependent. This is often the sticking-point in the most amicable of splits.

dustystar02

Thanks for that.

I'm the 'she'

In a nutshell I just need to know what phone call to make first. Our mortgage lenders can't get us in til a week on saturday. Anyone we should be contacting in the meantime?

We will both pay the mortgage on our home til it is sold. Then we will buy somewhere seperatly. What I would like to know is are we both having to live in the home til it is sold as neither of us can afford to buy somewhere else without the money. I guess that might be a question for the mortgage lender though?

RAS

Selling you house this side of the mortgage penalty would not be a good idea.

Is your child going to be living with you after the split (will you claim child Benefit for the child)?

Have you checked www.turn2Us.org.uk to find out what help you would get towards interest payments? Note that under Universal credit you might find this less helpful but at the moment you would get help towards them and possibly WTC/CTC.

bagpussbear

In your shoes I would firstly get an estate agent around to value your property.

Then contact your mortgage lender to tell them you are splitting up with your partner and request a redemption figure (this will include the penalty fee for ending the mortgage term early).

Then between those two figures you will see, roughly, what sort of equity you have to split (if any) between yourselves and of course take into account costs to sell the property.

Why not do a short term rental instead of buying straightaway, least you would know what money you have in your bank, how much deposit you have and give you a chance to look around for good mortgage deals?

BitterAndTwisted

dustystar02 wrote: »

We will both pay the mortgage on our home til it is sold. Then we will buy somewhere separately. What I would like to know is are we both having to live in the home til it is sold as neither of us can afford to buy somewhere else without the money. I guess that might be a question for the mortgage lender though?

Why would a mortgage-lender have an opinion on where either of you live until the property is sold? If neither of you can afford a rental or to buy until this property is sold, it's obvious that you will both have to live in it. That's basic economics and has absolutely nothing to do with the lender.

Caroline_a

I'm assuming that you're not married.

Firstly, as others say you need to have the house valued by a couple of estate agents. Then take the middle amount as a sale price. That amount, less your mortgage, less the redemption amount, less the selling costs (estate agents fees, solicitors fees) is what you are left with to split between you.

The mortgage people are only concerned with their mortgage, and you paying it. They don't care what happens to you unfortunately, only about their money. Unless either one of you can afford to rent somewhere before the house is sold, you are stuck with each other I'm afraid.

Indie_Kid

RAS wrote: »

Have you checked www.turn2Us.org.uk to find out what help you would get towards interest payments? Note that under Universal credit you might find this less helpful but at the moment you would get help towards them and possibly WTC/CTC.

You'd only get help with mortgage interest if you're on an income based out of work benefit.

dustystar02

Thanks all.

No we're not married. Our fixed term ends in August. I've been on hold to our mortgage lenders for ages today trying to get answers but no joy.
There will be a Redemption fee and I need to find out how much. My ex is considering staying in the house as long as he can borrow from the bank to buy me out. He believe he can afford it on his own. That should then give me a good enough deposit to buy somewhere else. Sadly I'm on a fixed term contract in my job til July so I doubt a lender would go near me.

we need sit down with our lender, who is also our bank, to find out where we stand and what finances we can both pull together independently to move on.

F_Bear

as people have said, it will be best (by the tune of at least 1% of the mortgage) to stay till august when the fixed rate ends. and in that time maybe you wont split up?

if your still set on goin ur own ways, then find out how much equality you'll both be left with when you sell. the price an estate agent gives you may not be the price you get for it if you want a quick sale.

you say youve a big mortgage, who put the depoist down? if the house is in both ur names this wont matter legally (you both own 50%) but it could be a cause for arguements. most splits start of amicable but quickly go south.

hopefully ur overhalf can afford the mortgage, a quick calculation on the providers website will give an indication. when i spilt i ahd to wait for a wage rise to get the ex off the mortgage. the bank will be less inclined to take some one off as at the mo they can chase 2 ppl for the debt if you default. all the banks interested in is the asset of the house.

hope you get sorted

peachyprice

dustystar02 wrote: »

I'm not sure where to go next, do we set an appointment up with our motgage lenders to discuss the disolving of the mortgage?

dustystar02 wrote: »

Our mortgage lenders can't get us in til a week on saturday. Anyone we should be contacting in the meantime?

As above, there is no such thing as 'disolving' a mortgage. You sell the house and pay off the mortgage.

I'm not sure exactly what it is you're expecting you lender to do when you meet with them. All they can do is tell you the redemption figure, which they can do over the phone or by letter, it's then down to you to get the house on the market for enough to cover the outstanding mortgage.

Your current joint mortgage has no bearing whatsoever on whether or not either of you can get a mortgage by yourself. If your ex wants to re-mortgage to buy you out it will be a new application, not an amendment of the current mortgage.