Moving out ffrom shared rental with ex-bf

kitrat

Thanks all for your opinions, you've given me some things to think about

The month overlap sounds like a good middle-ground perhaps.

kitrat

miss-scrimpy wrote: »

Hello,

Sorry I am very sleepy however thought I would send a message to share my experience, I hope this makes sense.

I left my partner in a rental house, mainly actually down to his domestic abuse to me however because I left, I felt bad and him being clever and manipulative made me feel incredibly sorry for the situation I put him in (however in hind-sight he was the problem!) ANYWAY... I left my name on the contract because I knew changing it and without me on there the agency would then do a financial check etc and probably not let him live there.

I also agreed because I had left him in a sicky situation I would pay half of the rent for about 4 months till the tenancy ran out. I had very little money, being vulnerable due to abuse, having to leave my job and actually getting sectioned at the time so was very unwell I paid my Disability Living Allowance to him every month to cover my half.

The ex boyfriend even visited me in hospital and he asked me to help him list all the bill companies so he could remove my name off them too. So I wrote a list for him.

Being unwell, feeling sorry for him and trusting him still I never thought much of this. All the bills came out of a joint bank account which I never had details of or a card (due to the abuse etc) so thought nothing or any more about it nor was it a priority at the time.

Time passed, the payments to him stopped and I met an amazing supportive boyfriend who in honestly has helped me change my whole life around. Now what I am trying to say here is however much you think someone would NEVER turn nasty you never know when your situation changes, especially if you meet someone new.

He sent me a spiteful message expressing his anger and loads of poo because I had a new boyfriend about 9 months later. Again, I ignored it. It was when my parents recieved a lot of post addressed to me at their address that had been forwarded? I was puzzled and when opening them I had the biggest shock of my life...

Being apart from be for just over a year he had NEVER paid any bills!? and by the sounds of things he was getting evicted from the property and also having bailiffs taking processions etc. There was also non-attended court dates and thousands to pay in bills, collection agencies, court stuff...the list was endless!

Both our names were on all bills (so I was jointly responsible!). I am actually quite proud of how I handled the situation, I did try and contact him however was not able to. It was a stressful time and the process went on for ages but slowly by communicating, writing letters and providing some evidence of living with my parents I was able to actually not be responsible and my name removed of some debts.

Some of the bills I still had to pay and I did end up paying quite a few hundred but the relief of no stress was worth it in some respects.

I was also able to get the CCJ Court thing sorted too which was a major stress too.

I suppose what I am trying to say in this long-winded message is not to trust anyone. Yes, I was stupid however I am luckily the one who was wise enough to leave this horrible man and learn by my mistakes :-)

Good Luck x

Goodness sounds horrendous. I think I will definitely be removing my name from accounts then. Thanks for your input

kitrat

Fortunately we are both in a financial position that either route I take we are both able to afford.

My parents are involved in that they are kindly assisting me with the overlapping rent costs so I feel grateful to them for that. However I will be paying the bills if I chose to and that's my decision at the end of the day.

Unfortunately this is all made rather more complicated by a separate financial issue of a decent-sized insurance payout to both myself and ex and how this should be divided up. Insurance will likely be paid to him and it's up to him to give me a share we both agree on. So that sort of entwines with the other financial issues of the bills and also shared possessions that need dividing up. Ugh chaos!! I want to deal with them all separately but each one has the potential to cause friction.

We are friendly atm but I worry how this will all pan out.

mountainofdebt

I don't buy this argument that his bills will be lower once you've moved out; it takes the same amount of electricity to light up the lightbulb or power the tv regardless of how many people are in the room.....same with heating.

Person_one

mountainofdebt wrote: »

I don't buy this argument that his bills will be lower once you've moved out; it takes the same amount of electricity to light up the lightbulb or power the tv regardless of how many people are in the room.....same with heating.

True to an extent, but she has to stop paying at some point once she's no longer using that electricity!

Water bills drop, electricity can drop depending on lifestyles/timetables etc. but you're right that it doesn't get cut in half.