Some help needed

Polmop

He earns about 25k a year, i dont really want to see a solicitor in case he is just having a mid life crisis,
I honeslty dont know how long to give him because he is still ignoring me

Morglin

Polmop wrote: »

He earns about 25k a year, i dont really want to see a solicitor in case he is just having a mid life crisis,
I honeslty dont know how long to give him because he is still ignoring me

Don't give him any time - if he's just having a mid life crisis, a letter from a solicitor should shove his brain in gear.:eek:

If it doesn't, then you need to protect yourself and your daughter anyway, and he should pay child support, whatever he thinks.

Lin

Polmop

Morglin wrote: »

Don't give him any time - if he's just having a mid life crisis, a letter from a solicitor should shove his brain in gear.:eek:

If it doesn't, then you need to protect yourself and your daughter anyway, and he should pay child support, whatever he thinks.

Lin

Thanks, your post has made me smile for the first time in ages

BigAunty

Polmop wrote: »

He earns about 25k a year, i dont really want to see a solicitor in case he is just having a mid life crisis,
I honeslty dont know how long to give him because he is still ignoring me

Don't bury your head in the sand. Seeing a solicitor will clarify your future options and help with your decision making. There's a relationship board on this forum if you need to get stuff off your chest. At the end of the day, he's abandoned you and is shunning all responsibility. The longer it drifts in this vague state, the harder it will get to resolve. Seeing a solicitor doesn't mean that you are turning your back on him or a future reconcilation but it does help you understand your options, his obligations, your rights.

If you seek legal advice and present him with your decisions and preferences on divorce, child maintenance, the future of the jointly owned house, then this can only clarify his mind and bring the situation back under your control. You set the deadlines and preferred course of action that way. You show him that you are serious that decisions and permanent changes must be made - he can't just drift in and out of your lives, absolving himself of all responsibility while he figures out if his crisis is temporary or not. It will prompt him to either return to the fold or end the relationship properly (mid life crisis or not, not sure of the relevance of your justification of the separation).

You need to think of yourself and your daughter - what if he demands the property is sold so he can get the equity from it? what if you lose your job and struggle to pay the mortgage and he won't help?

Currently, he nets around £1650 per month (excluding pension contributions) so you can expect to receive under the CSA formula around £57 per week. Many fathers actually voluntarily pay more than the minimum CSA formula - it hasn't occured to them that they should prioritise all their income to spend just on themselves. This still leaves him with £320 a week. Stop feeling sorry for him. He doesn't sound like much of a man, husband or father.

Morglin

Polmop wrote: »

Thanks, your post has made me smile for the first time in ages

Good luck with it - men can be so dopey at times (raises eyes heavenwards).......:whistle:

Hopefully, he will come to his senses and just come home.

Men make me laugh with their 'mid life' crisis - they want to have to deal with the menopause, then they will know what a bloody mid life crisis is lol......:eek:

But, in the meantime, you need to protect you and your girl.

Lin

Pollycat

Polmop wrote: »

Hi, My husband left home about a month ago and has said he needs all his money for somewhere to live.

Polmop wrote: »

He earns about 25k a year

Bloody Hell!
Where is he staying? The Ritz?

You've had some great advice already.

Good luck with moving forward.