Making it big..?

motorguy

lessonlearned wrote: »

I see nothing wrong with striving for a better life. And having a dream to fulfil and a goal to aim for is what makes it happen.

Absolutely. But have the right goal!

I remember my next door neighbour at the time got her son to start playing golf - he was an "average" teenager in every way. She had him, herself and anyone who'd listen believe he was destined to become a number 1 golfer and earn £££,£££s every year. All this from 1 hours golf every saturday morning.

Was that a realistic goal to set for her child or was she setting him up for failure?

lessonlearned

motorguy wrote: »

I am not being negative - i'm being realistic about life.

Sorry but I felt that your reply to Alex did sound a tad harsh and a bit negative. I'm sure you didn't mean anything by it but I just felt that you came over as a bit brusque and dismissive. Perhaps if you had elaborated as you have now done it would have sounded better is all.

I guess you were just being very serious. I try not to be too serious these days.

From what I can see from Alex's signature I think he actually sounds rather savvy and and switched on - a bit more practical then the original poster. The OP was a recent graduate after all and so quite young I would imagine.

If you can't indulge in flights of fancy when you are young, free and single then when can you. Reality will creep in soon enough.

Your golfing neighbour definitely needs to read up about the 10,000 hour rule.:rotfl:

My son is now on Plan B. He had a bit of a career set back after leaving uni but credit where it's due he's picked himself up and is applying himself, setting goals and working steadily to achieve them.

He has foregone a nice BMW and sunk all his money (with a little help from you know who) to buy his first property. He trundles around in an old beat up VW, bless him. He's not remotely bothered. After a false start he has learned the genteel art of deferred gratification.

We play little games to lift our spirits when we get low and feel like jacking it all in. We use daft terms like Stinking Rich or Mega Billionaires - him drooling over pictures yachts, me fancying myself in some swanky penthouse.

It's just our private little joke and our way of spurring each other on when the going gets tough. Any one who overheard our banter would probably judge us as shallow, unrealistic dreamers and think we were a couple of deluded no-hopers.

The reality is of course rather more prosaic. My son wants his own buiness and I want a comfy old age. Doesn't sound quite so much fun when you put it that way.

And there needs to be fun…….;)

As a matter of interest there was a guy n the paper yesterday who was earning over £1m a year. City trader of course, but he got careless and greedy, blew the lot and is now facing bankruptcy. He got attacked for some reason - perhaps he trod on a few toes at some point.

I don't think it is the acquisition of money that is problematical as such - it's what you do with it. Money is only a tool just like any other and tools can be both used or mis-used. Money can be a bit of a double edged sword and it requires skill to use it wisely.

I know two ex city traders who knew when to stop. They made what they felt to be sufficient for their needs and aspirations and got out with their money, morals and mental health still intact. One got himself a nice little small holding and the other set himself up as a photographer.

Some of their peers were less savvy and/or more greedy. They got hooked into that downward spiral of fast living, ruinously expensive cars and an even more ruinously expensive taste for Bolivian marching powder.

I wouldn't say that they were necessarily evil or immoral - just monumentally stupid.

motorguy

lessonlearned wrote: »

Sorry but I felt that your reply to Alex did sound a tad harsh and a bit negative. I'm sure you didn't mean anything by it but I just felt that you came over as a bit brusque and dismissive. Perhaps if you had elaborated as you have now done it would have sounded better is all.

It was not a criticism of Alex but a criticism of the "goal" that the O/P is setting themselves. I just dont feel its a "real" objective.

lessonlearned wrote: »

I guess you were just being very serious. I try not to be too serious these days.

That ok, but the O/P asked for advice. Offering false assurances that its a sound plan is not what he needs.

Its like the business threads whereby people come on and say "i've this great business idea thats bound to work because all my friends and family say its a great idea", when really what they need is a reality check not family members just nodding in approval.

lessonlearned wrote: »

From what I can see from Alex's signature I think he actually sounds rather savvy and and switched on - a bit more practical then the original poster. The OP was a recent graduate after all and so quite young I would imagine.

Yup, and as i said i wasnt criticising Alex.

lessonlearned wrote: »

If you can't indulge in flights of fancy when you are young, free and single then when can you. Reality will creep in soon enough.

The O/P asked for advice on how to achieve their goal. IF the o/p really wants to be successful, then indulging in a "flight of fancy" for them is not going to help.

lessonlearned wrote: »

Your golfing neighbour definitely needs to read up about the 10,000 hour rule.:rotfl:

Yup. Cringeworthy. But you see it all the time.

lessonlearned wrote: »

My son is now on Plan B. He had a bit of a career set back after leaving uni but credit where it's due he's picked himself up and is applying himself, setting goals and working steadily to achieve them.

Great, good to hear hes pushing on.

"Setting goals and working steady to achieve them" - is that not better advice to the O/P than "the worlds your oyster, you're going to make it!".

lessonlearned wrote: »

He has foregone a nice BMW and sunk all his money (with a little help from you know who) to buy his first property. He trundles around in an old beat up VW, bless him. He's not remotely bothered. After a false start he has learned the genteel art of deferred gratification.

Indeed, my fear with my son would be if he had £10K sitting in the bank he'd blow it on something dumb. While its in a car at the moment, like your son i expect he'll flog it at some point and use it as a house deposit. And you're right a car isnt a be all and end all!

lessonlearned wrote: »

The reality is of course rather more prosaic. My son wants his own buiness and I want a comfy old age. Doesn't sound quite so much fun when you put it that way.

And there needs to be fun…….;)

Indeed there does! :beer:

Kayalana99

motorguy wrote: »

That ok, but the O/P asked for advice. Offering false assurances that its a sound plan is not what he needs.

Its like the business threads whereby people come on and say "i've this great business idea thats bound to work because all my friends and family say its a great idea", when really what they need is a reality check not family members just nodding in approval.

Well all I will add is when my Dad started building his property empire, he wanted to do it with a few mates of his to make it abit less risky for all of them, they agreed and one by one all 3 of them pulled out and left my Dad in the loop with excuses like 'It never work' - they were all young with enough money between them at the time so their was no real excuse other then not wanting to put the money up when it came to it.

Yano what he did? He went ahead and did it anyway and whilst he isn't one of these people earning 1 million a year...he dreamed big and he got his fair share back. (And yes we can put him in the muti-millionaire circle)

Dreaming big often gives us the incentive to take risks we wouldn't if we were aiming small...your goals that you find acceptable are your opinion but we can't all dream of the 'normal' goals...perhaps OP will never see a million...perhaps he will hit a million altogether in a lifetime...or just maybe he will be one of the very few that have got their...only time will tell...but you can't tell people what an 'acceptable' dream to have is....because anything IS possible.

You can't disagree with that - because their are walking billionaires that were born into poor families.

If my Dad had listened to people telling him what he can't do he wouldn't be where he is today... that's the one advice he has always given me time and time again...

lessonlearned

motorguy wrote: »

It was not a criticism of Alex but a criticism of the "goal" that the O/P is setting themselves. I just dont feel its a "real" objective.

That ok, but the O/P asked for advice.





Sorry I misunderstood. Thought your reply was in response to Alex's post.

TBH - I don't think the OP cared much for the advice he received. Given that he has never come back to the thread I think it was probably more a flight of fancy than a genuine request for advice.

If he were really serious then he would have been back and either argued his case or told us all to "naff orf because I'm doing it anyway and I'm going to prove you wrong". :rotfl:

lessonlearned

Kayalana99 wrote: »

If my Dad had listened to people telling him what he can't do he wouldn't be where he is today... that's the one advice he has always given me time and time again...

Cracking advice too. Reach for the moon and you just might grab a star and all that.

I've underlined the word Can't.

My aunt, who was left a penniless widow with three children under the age of 3, again like me facing bankruptcy and in danger of losing her home, picked herself up and built up a little empire. She had to overcome some very large obstacles along the way.

If she ever heard me use the word "can't" I would get an ear bashing.

She would say "no such word as can't, what you mean is you won't try"

She was a hard task mistress at times……..but whenever I feel like giving up or that I just feel that I "can't" face something, her words echo in my head.

Though long dead her voice still spurs me on.

motorguy

Kayalana99 wrote: »

If my Dad had listened to people telling him what he can't do he wouldn't be where he is today... that's the one advice he has always given me time and time again...

I'm not at all saying it is wrong to dream and you're right it can form the right incentive to actually get off your butt and do something.

Wanting to be a millionaire is nothing special. Asking 100 people if they would like that and practically all will say yes.

Actually being able to make it happen is another thing altogether.

Your dad had a belief that what he was doing was right, and most likely a combination of hard graft, self belief, ability and a bit of luck thrown in has saw him succeed. And fair play to him.

Perhaps why i'm being a little over hash on the O/P is because hes shown nothing that makes me think hes of the opinion that he deserves the millionaire lifestyle because he thinks it would suit him.

motorguy

Kayalana99 wrote: »

Well all I will add is when my Dad started building his property empire...

One thing i would say is, if you asked your dad of when he started out, did he start out wanting to be rich or to be successful?

I suspect the latter. To me, financial "freedom" tends to come from being successful, it is a bi product as it were.

motorguy

lessonlearned wrote: »

My aunt, who was left a penniless widow with three children under the age of 3, again like me facing bankruptcy and in danger of losing her home, picked herself up and built up a little empire. She had to overcome some very large obstacles along the way.

If she ever heard me use the word "can't" I would get an ear bashing.

She would say "no such word as can't, what you mean is you won't try"

She was a hard task mistress at times……..but whenever I feel like giving up or that I just feel that I "can't" face something, her words echo in my head.

Though long dead her voice still spurs me on.

And did your aunt start out wanting to be rich? Was that her aim?

I would say her aim initially was to put food on her table, then to be successful, and at some point after that she was "rich"

Thats my point.

And again, i'll repeat it, as it seems to be being missed - the beef i have with the O/Ps first post is that he wants to be "rich", because it seems he feels he would like the lifestyle.

THAT is a fantasy, not an aspiration or a goal. Its as much a fantasy as those middle age mums who turn up at X factor auditions and say they want to be the next Beyonce.

lessonlearned

For some becoming wealthy is a by product of success but for others becoming wealthy is their main objective.

I'm not quite sure why you find this distasteful or somehow "less worthy".

I've known several people who made being wealthy their primary goal. They made up their minds when they were quite young that this is what they wanted to achieve.

To begin with none of them actually knew how they were going to achieve their goals, they were all in their early teens when they began their journeys - they just knew what they wanted. They just knew that they didn't want to be poor, they had tried that and didn't care for it much.

So having made up their minds what they wanted to achieve they then set about ways to to achieve that end.

One of them was actually extremely dyslexic but that didn't stop him from building up a plant hire business. He had no great passion for JCB's or road sweeping machines :rotfl: He just spotted a gap in the market and went for it because he saw it as a way of making money.

Just like Arnie who broke down his primary goal of becoming a movie star into manageable steps, these young people looked at their final destination and then mapped out how to get there.

Obviously it's not the way you work or think but it does work for some people.

Some people achieve wealth because they work hard at becoming successful in their chosen field, e.g. The Beatles, Bill Gates, David Beckham and then, as you say, the riches follow.

For some people achieving wealth is their motivation. They get the money under their belt first and then do what they really want by either changing their career - like the two ex city bankers I mentioned who made their pile and then went and did something completely different or by branching out into a different business.

One guy I know did exactly this - made some money first and then, once he was happy he had enough, he became a full time artist. As he ruefully admits he wouldn't enjoy his current lifestyle if he had to rely on selling his paintings;).

I don't think it matters much either way. As the old saying goes - there's more than one way to skin a cat.

My only caveat is that money is made legally (no drug dealers need apply;), and without trampling over everyone to get it.