Money fears overshadowing the joy of pregnancy

ilovelondontown

I unexpectedly although equally delightedly found out that I was pregnant at the end of last year with my first child. Once the shock of the surprise had passed and coming to terms with it happening before we had really “prepared” for it, my husband and I were able to see how lucky we were to be in a situation we had hoped to be in eventually and I am now three months gone.


However, despite us both having good paying jobs and small debts (we reduced our total debt from over £26k to just £5K now in 12 months last year with much help to the MSE boards) I keep worrying constantly about money. I’ve done the maths and we’re in a generally good position, I can afford to take 12 months off using my works mat leave package and topping up with money I’m currently saving now. We won’t be flushed by any means, but able to see the year out.


On top of that we’ll have some hard cash savings to help us though things that unexpectedly come our way. I know the golden rule of thumb is to pay off debt with savings, but I really want to keep the two separate for now since the debt is on one card at 0% and where my salary will drop drastically on smp I don't want to risk not having cash at reach.


Anyhow, with all that in mind I’ve started to feel like my pregnancy is now being over shadowed with this anxiety/ fear about being able to cope financially with a child to care for. I keep worrying that we don’t have enough in savings and that there will be things that go wrong with the house we need to fix and it’ll blow our savings and then what will we do?!

I have always dreamed of one day being pregnant and being a mother, and this is a dream come true so it’s upsetting me that I can’t enjoy this for what it is. I know most people worry about money to some extent but I want to enjoy this but every time I think about the pregnancy I automatically think about money and I’m ruining this for myself but I can’t work out how to shake this cloud of fear that is following me around.

Can anyone help?

krustylouise

No matter when a baby comes along you will ALWAYS manage. Regardless of debt, savings, jobs, somehow you always find a way. And once your beautiful little baby comes along all things of monetary value will mean nothing! I know this attitude doesn't keep a roof over your head, but you have said yourself that you can make it through the year ok, so try not to worry, and starte relaxing into your pregnancy, because before you know it you'll not have time to worry congratulations

daisiegg

Admit it, you have started this thread just to annoy the people moaning about there being too many pregnancy threads

But seriously, it sounds like you are in a good position and it is natural to worry. I think there are lots of expensive things we are told we 'need' for babies but really that is not true. If you have worked out you can manage on maternity leave, that sounds like a really good start! You'll be fine

ska_lover

Relax, you will get by - people just do tend to manage when they have a baby.

pukkamum

When dh and I had our first child we had enough to feed, clothe and keep a roof over our heads and that was it, we were fine.
You are in an enviable position financially compared to many and once you have your lo in your arms none of that will matter.
Stop panicking about what ifs and concentrate on enjoying the miracle of growing another human being in your belly.

RobotsinDisguse

I can relate. I found I was pregnant & being made redundant in the same week!

I'm now 4 months gone and am still worried but know it'll work out ok. There's a lovely thread here for 12-24weeks you can come and join too

claire16c

All I can say is that there are so many things to worry about in pregnancy, unless you are really skint I.e don't know how you are going to feed & home your child, don't stress over it.

The only things worth worrying about are yours & the baby's health. That's what's important.

TeamLowe

If you find once baby's here that you're finding it tough financially then there's nothing to say you can't revise your return to work to be a little earlier but as long as the essential bills are covered you'll be fine, babies cost as much or as little as you want them to in the early days

Also, could this be part of a general anxiety about the impending arrival? We tried for 2 years after a miscarriage for our son so he was very much wanted and planned for but that didn't stop me spending a lot of time in the first few months of pregnancy stressing about whether we'd be able to cope with this huge responsibility that was coming our way.
This lessened the further I got into the pregnancy and I'm sure it will for you too

Shouldhavechecked

My advice would be don't get caught up in all the hype that baby magazines etc try to encourage. I fell for the hype a bit and I ended up buying loads of stuff that was rarely or never used. Babies needs are pretty simple and the most important things like love and attention are free.

fluffnutter

If you can afford to take a year off, you don't have money worries. I suspect you're fixating on your finances as an outlet for general and natural worries about whether you'll be able to care for your baby. Rest assured, once the baby comes along these fears will naturally recede - you'll be way too knackered to care.