Gift registry

Slightly_Squiffy

Right! Fiance and I want to do our gift registry this weekend. John Lewis. We are sending invitations soon, and was thinking of putting the little cards with the John Lewis info right in the back with all the other wedding related information.

I have been talked into having a registry in the first place, and now people are telling me it's rude to let others know where we're registered?! Our bridal party/parents/family is spread across one half of the globe and I doubt most of our friends would know who to ask.

Am I just being crass and rude by thinking this 'don't have any registry information with the invitation' thing is complete b0llocks?!

MrsMGtobe

I think it seems to be the more modern take on things, but formal etiquette seems to dictate not to have the registry information in the invite. It depends on what you and your family think best, I personally wouldn't include it in the invite...

We haven't registered at all - MIL2B suggested that people like to be 'guided', but I am definitely not the guiding type!

Slightly_Squiffy

I wish we could not register, but my future MiL said a lot of relatives would be upset at not knowing what to buy us. I plan on registering for a nice cheese slicer and some mugs...that's it! :beer:

Sundaysgirl

We're setting up a small gift list for exactly the same reason - we didn't want one but lots of friends and family insisted they needed to know what to give.

I was very against including anything, written or inserts, in the invitations (especially a schmaltzy poem stating that you don't want presents but...) as IMO that's poor etiquette. We compromised by setting up a wedding website for all additional info such as accommodation options etc and including gift list details there. That way, guests are only presented with the gift list if they actually go looking for it.

HTH! x

Tashatutuw

We are registering and will be sending the information out with the invitations - we have family spread all over and most of them have already asked if we plan on registering. We are going with 'marriagegiftlist' as then I can source the best prices on the things we put on there and not have my guests overpay.

I must say though - I am not enjoying the feeling of registering. I wonder how my SIL did it 10 years ago and put down for a FULL set of crystal (which she got) I feel cheeky adding £15 placemats lol!

CompBunny

We're burying our heads in the sand on this one. I don't want to be cheeky and ask for anything, but feel that if people come to us to ask what we would like I'd say (honeymoon money/vouchers...although this feels cheeky..). H2B wants us to say "absolutely nothing!" but some people like to give presents for weddings!

Its such a minefield. You know your family and friends best. I think your idea of a short gift list for MIL to be happy about its a good compromise

Gettin256

I had a small gift register but most people gave us money. We still ended up with 4 cream wedding photo frames! People did mention that I didn't have enough expensive items on the list. A friend didn't have one and has a whole collection of china which she would never have chosen herself. What have your friends done or what would your guests be used to?

Slightly_Squiffy

Most people I know have registered. But one friend I gave MAJOR side eye to over it. The wedding was largely paid for for them, they live in a flat in Chelsea owned by a grandparent and have lived together for 7 years...they had some charity donations on there but also had several £100 cushion covers too :eek: a friend of mine have me some great advice when I brought up the issue with her, which was 'don't put anything on there that you wouldn't happily buy for yourself'. I wouldn't spend £150 on a china tea pot for myself, so I would never expect anyone else to buy one for me!

Tashatutuw

Slightly_Squiffy wrote: »

Most people I know have registered. But one friend I gave MAJOR side eye to over it. The wedding was largely paid for for them, they live in a flat in Chelsea owned by a grandparent and have lived together for 7 years...they had some charity donations on there but also had several £100 cushion covers too :eek: a friend of mine have me some great advice when I brought up the issue with her, which was 'don't put anything on there that you wouldn't happily buy for yourself'. I wouldn't spend £150 on a china tea pot for myself, so I would never expect anyone else to buy one for me!

Haha I should be ok with my Tefal Actifry and food processor then (as would have bought one anyway and in fact am not buying, just to have something to put on the list!!!) That is a bit silly!! My Aunt experienced the same thing recently at the wedding of a friend 'from money' - she put together with 2 other friends to afford anything on the list!

hels234

We have a registry with John lewis and included it in the invites with one of those your presence not presents sayings with it. Having spoken to family and friends they all said they wanted to know what to buy and hated the no list invites. One friend warned if we didn't we would end up with numerous photo frames as that's what people buy for weddings with no list! As much as I like a photo frame I thought best help my guests out and do a list. I'm not fussed though if people stick to it or not, just hope they come and spend the day with us really!

lika_86

I'm not getting married but if I ever did, I hate the whole gift list thing and so would love it if my friends and family bought me a book that meant something to them or that they loved and wrote a personal message in the front. I'd love a home library one day and to have it filled with books that mean something to my closest friends and family (at the same time as maybe discussing some hidden gems) would mean much more to me than someone buying me a George Foreman grill or oven dishes. Plus, it's minimal cost to guests and yet they would still be buying something to satisfy those who think they have to buy something, especially when there's nothing we need/want.