Why, Why, Why?

[Deleted User]

Here we go again, I should be used to this.

I have an 18 year old whose school years were a nightmare (because of the schools). He was diagnosed with Aspergers and dyspraxia but let down very badly by the education system. Never statemented because I was told over and over he was too intelligent to fall below the level requiring statementing (wrong advice as it turns out but too late to do anything now).

Now I have a younger son, I knew he quite probably had dyspraxia. Schools said no, his writing problems would work out as he got older. He's now 7 and they haven't. Its taken 4 months just to get him referred for diagnosis (GP said school needed to refer, school said GP needed to).

Meanwhile, he's showing more signs of aspergers as well, going into meltdown, refused to go to school at all several times (had to carry him out of the house last week), periods of sleeplessness (that I do get on top of, but its not easy) and now the school I normally thought well of is playing word games with me. Last term I made several comments about his poor writing ability and the stress it causes him after some incidents in the school. They started allowing him to use Ipad software with a keyboard. On one occasion I had a teacher telling me she'd made phone calls to his other teachers because he'd produced a beautiful poem on the IPAD (I said yes, he isn't able to work to his potential because of the stress of writing, he needs to continue with the writing practice, but also be allowed to use other means of producing the written word so he can build confidence, and work free of disadvantage). They seemed to agree.

So we go to this term. He's HAS to write again, no IPAD (so I was told, several times). He's become difficult to get to school, sad, pressured and inclined to meltdown both before and after school. He was working every day for a short time with a particular TA last term. She recommended following the guidelines in a book to help with his writing.., 45 mins a day three days a week. This became 15 mins a day. Now he has no 'special time' with the TA at all. He says he feels lost, there's no one to help him when he's getting stressed.

So today I mentioned the Equality Act to his teacher, said he wasn't really being given the same access to education as his peers because of his challenges (as yet undiagnosed). Immediate change in demeanor of the teacher.., instead of insisting he HAS to learn to write and can't use the IPAD software at all because he won't learn to write, she suddenly said she'd never said he couldn't use the IPAD at all.

Meanwhile I came across Educational Equality. An Advocacy service for those taking their children through statutory assessment (statementing). But there's fees. At least £100 to start with, if you need him assessed for the statutory assesment you have to pay for that, then there's travel costs, photocopying costs etc. I was so hopeful before I saw the fees. I am on benefits, this could cost an indeterminate amount and I am really struggling right now after Xmas and my older son's 18th. So disappointed. Its not that their fees are unfair, its just that I have nothing spare. But I let my older son down so badly.., his schools ran rings around me in spite of me spending hour after hour doing research on the net. They just didn't want to play ball. It looks like my younger son's schooll is the same. I'm panicking. I'm not as healthy as I was when my older son was younger.., I just can't do what I did before. And I got no where anyway.

Its so wrong. So very wrong that schools let down our children like this.., and dress it up so it all looks perfectly reasonable, but it isn't.

Please excuse the grammar, I'm venting more than anything. I wish there was help out there but there isn't. That's just the way it is. Even IPSEA was of limited help when you are playing word games with a school head or SENCO.

On Monday I said to the headmaster as part of our conversation that they were forcing him to write (wasn't shrill saying this) and he said 'oh but we aren't forcing him, I don't like that word. So I replied 'Well if you are not allowing him to use any other way to write but writing by hand, you are forcing him to write, without any options'.., then I got the two minute speel about how he was headmaster of special school before coming to my son's school. That's what I mean by word games. I call it like it is, but schools just run rings around you. Why won't a school work with me and my sons to get the best out of them?

travelgran

There should be a Parent Partnership in your area. They are very experienced in challenging schools over provision for special needs and you don't have to be statemented, or pay.

poet123

The thing is that if your son is allowed to mainly use the Ipad the skills he has now will deteriorate. Accepted wisdom is that more, not less practice is the way forward, but that handwriting should be judged against the individual child's best efforts not against the norm for their peer group. Also, as a child gets older and education becomes more academic more handwriting is required, so opting out is not the way forward Dyspraxia experts recommend. It is not important how well the child writes initially but that they are kept relaxed about the process.

I really wouldn't be taking issue with the school over this.

chickenpants

Unfortunately even with any potential issues he still needs to learn to write. Work needs to done around getting him comfortable and confident with writing, not avoiding it by using an ipad although thus can be a tool on some occasions. I think you said he was 7, so year 2? In which case he has to sit SATS at the end of the year which will need to be handwritten, if I was your child's teacher I would be working on him writing as much as possible too.

You mentioned TA time, as your child is not statemented there is no legal requirement for the school to provide him with a one to one TA, although they may be able to give him a little TA time within their time constraints. If you believe he needs support then I would recommend pushing for an Educational Psychologist appointment both through the schools SENCO and your GP. A statement is the only way he will get funding and therefore specialised resources and TA time.

pollypenny

As others say, he has to continue to practise writing. How else will he gain confidence?

He may well have to complete forms as an adult, he can't live on line.

Go for a happy medium: first draft on iPad then write it out as neatly as he can.

[Deleted User]

I disagree. My older son has even worse problems with writing. He had a scribe in exams, he now takes notes (in college) on his phone.

What you are forgetting is the stress that fine motor control challenges can cause kids with dyspraxia.

And then there's the peer problems. My older son was calling HIMSELF a retard, because of the attitudes of others around him. I will never forget when he was told in front of others he was being put into a remedial class, and in that class they were learning to read four letter words (at the age of 11, which he was, my older son was tested as reading higher than a 19 year old). What does that say to a young person? The only thing he couldn't do was write, and he never did learn to write legibly in spite of everyone's best efforts. My younger son is presently in the 'lowest' group in the class, because of his writing.., although he is one of the cleverest boys in the class. How is this not going to shape his aspirations and hopes for his future.

No one takes the holistic view. People can get by without manually writing if writing is a block to their potential showing itself. I did say in my original post, that I am not saying my son should not write at all.., what I am saying is a COMPROMISE is needed, so the writing difficulties don't become a block to learning wholesale.

I am having a lot of difficulties with meltdowns etc.., how can I not take issue with the reason for this? His TA help has been withdrawn (wasn't notified) and he is not allowed to use an IPAD at all. Not asking for mainly using an ipad, never asked for that, just suggested that in some lessons it might allow him to see what he can do and build his confidence.

pukkamum

I reiterate all the above and woud also suggest making writing fun for him. Perhaps gethim to choose some special pencils and pens in different colours.
Get him writing as big as he can, rolls wallpaper are good for this, then as small as he can.
Drawing too is a good handwriting tool, drawing huge circles, scribbling, anything to make having a pencil in his hand fun.
Perhaps a reward system for each couple of words move up a chart etc.

I worked with a dyspraxic child when I was a special needs assistant and these are some of the methods I used.

bylromarha

Stop and take a big breath.

Apologies if I'm wrong, but you sound like you are scared the school experience of your eldest is going to be repeated in your youngest and this is guiding how you are dealing with this one as you perceive its all going to go Pete Tong like you feel it did with your eldest.

Schools WANT to give help to all the children to the best of their abilities, to support those struggling in areas, to give the middlies who often get left out a big boost, to give those who excel in art but struggle to read time to explore their learning in a way suitable to them but there just isn't the funding and adults to do it.

The school sound like they are trying to help your little one but are trying to help all the other kids too. If I were you, I'd focus more on the stress and anxiety your son is experiencing in school and asking school to give him some strategies (an area?) to go when he needs to calm down.

I'd also ask the school to show you what sort of writing he's expected to do. Maybe the school could look at other ways the in class tasks can support his writing- one of the most powerful things I've used in class with non writers is giving them small lined boxes on a piece of paper. Being presented with a blank page of lines is terrifying when you're 6. Being presented with 2 boxes 10cm x 5cm with lines inside, the writing seems more achievable as you're breaking it into chunks for the child. Simple but VERY effective. Ask them how they are helping him take those small steps in moving on in his writing - and how you can best support that at home in order for him to grow in his confidence.

holgate79

Go to parent partnership.

They will support you with the whole process inc. application for statutory assessment (statement).

They do not charge.

However, special needs funding has changed and it is unlikely that a child with the level of need you have mentioned would be eligible for extra funding.

What school have to do is show that they can meet his needs from their existing budget. I would suggest he learns to touch type and word processes his work rather use an ipad. This way school can arrange / provide touch typing lessons to enable his to record his work accurately and his progress / success can be monitored.

poet123

I agree it is all about strategies to get him to write, finding ways of making him more comfortable with it, bolstering his confidence to enable him to try. If you decide to fight the school and allow your son to think that they are doing it wrong you will be doing your son a disservice.

I work in a college and yes, we do provide scribes and assistive technology but that is a protected bubble and is not replicated in the real world.

Shouldhavechecked

I don't know what your circumstances are, but is there any chance that if the situation doesn't improve, you could home school your son?

Personally I think the school are being very short sighted by insisting that he learns to write with a pen. Clearly from what you've told us, given that he wrote a poem, he can write - he just happens to use a computer instead of a pen.

In my humble opinion he will do fine in life if he can write using a computer. In my professional life I've rarely had to write with a pen, everything else was done using the computer. I have physically disabled friends who are in high level full time employment who also never use a pen either.

If your son was physically disabled they would have no problem with him using a computer to write, so I don't see why they are making such an issue out of this.

I wish I had something more helpful to say to you, but you have my sympathy.