Stress

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terra_ferma wrote: »

Another technique is 'what is the worst possible scenario?' 'what can I do if that happens'. And sometimes things are not as bad as they sound in my head, there is solution/mitigation.

I don't know if this helps you in any way, but it's made a big difference to my life, as I'm anxious by nature

I also find it useful to think through a worst case scenario and as to what I would do if it came to that and then tell myself that it's not usually as bad as "worst case scenario" when problems come up.

I also tend a lot towards the "What would I say to me if I were my own best friend?" I then think "Right....my best friend would say to me...." and follow "best friends" advice iyswim (even if its just something as simple as "Go for a walk/have a nice meal/etc").

One thing I have come to realise in later years is that I mustn't describe myself to myself as an anxious/depressive person. Any time I catch myself saying to myself "But I am an anxious sort of person" or "But I do tend to be a bit depressive" I must pull myself up short and go "You DO know that is your mother you are talking about and NOT yourself". I must stop thinking I am the same sort of person as my mother...because I'm not. Whether she brought me up in a way that has made me FEEL anxious/depressive or whether it's some sort of genetic thing is irrelevant. That was HER and I am most probably different and I don't have to be that way...iyswim. I just tell myself that I am wildly different to her in many ways and that I am a much more positive and independent sort of person than her and have had a different childhood than her...so why would I feel the same way as her?

Scorpio33

Thanks for all your help guys, most appreciated.

Just gets you down when you life evolves arround caring for a kid, training other people to do your job and seeking a new job when you don't really want one, leavin no time for yourself or you and your partner.

Stressful situation to be in, but I know I am not alone and hopefully some of the things you all suggest will help me.

jjq1872

No, you are not alone - just been made redundant this month - this is the first time it has happened to me and I have been working since I left school, nearly 40 years ago.

There is a lot of good advice people have posted here - and I will be taking this on board, as I look for work.

We do not know what the future holds, so stay positive - I aim to!