How do you get started after IVA is finished

greenbrucelee

By the title I mean.

I have nothing and by no life I mean, I moved to mu current location with my mother when I was 16 due to the location I never had much of a social life and until I could drive was restricted to a train which only allowed me around 2 hours to see my friends and 40 minutes of that time was walking to and from the train station.

I went to university and things changed everything was good apart from the usual uni debts which I paid off then I got into debt again due to my wages being cut by 22.5% hence the IVA.

By the time my IVA is finished I am going to be 40 years old and back to square one just like when I was 16.

I would like to move out of my mothers when the IVA is done but I highly doubt its going to magically get me some friends a social life or start things getting better.

All I can see is I will move out be saddled with bills and that will be the only difference to the situation I am in now.

Am I being negative or is the light at the end of the tunnel?

longtermplanner

The light at the end of the tunnel is that you will no longer have any debts. Could you stay with your mother whilst you save up for a deposit, then look for a job somewhere where you could rent close to work? Then you would have more time and more money.

Nothing happens by magic, but you have the opportunity to start again and a lot of experience so you now know what not to do.

greenbrucelee

Thanks for the reply

I could find somewhere close to work easily but what I reservations about is that will anything be any different apart from not being in debt.

Find_The_Real

Hello greenbrucelee, as LongTP says there is light at the end of the tunnel as once an IVA is finished anything you earn will be yours to do as you wish. It does sound like you are being sensible by considering staying at home until that is finished but I can understand how that can have an impact on your social life.

I won't lie, it is not always easy building a social life once you get older but one way to do this is to think of something you are interested in and look to perhaps joining a group to increase your social circle. It is also very easy to say be positive but perhaps the end of the IVA is something to make goals towards once you are not so restricted.

I am sure like many of us on here, there are regrets of how life has panned out but you have a chance to start afresh, it is just having the confidence to do it.

greenbrucelee

Thanks for the support.

Sometimes it feels as if I am just in one continuous circle that's never going to end.

Yes one day I will be free of debt and I know I am going to be left alot of money by relatives at some point but whats the point in that if you don't have anything to do ?

I will look into what you say.

Find_The_Real

Well with that scenario I am sure there would be no lack of "friends" then.

Joking aside though it's about looking at ways to get out of the rut you are in, I can understand where you are coming from as the last couple of years whilst sorting out my debts it became hermit mode for me. However now I am more settled I am looking to doing more things, I have small social evening with friends, I am looking at local gigs which don't cost much, considering joining a rambling group to get out more, as it can make life seem more positive when you are busy with interests. It may be a bit of a clich! but when you are more happy in yourself and your life it has a more positive effect with people around you as well and you naturally feel more sociable.

40 is not old these days and I am sure if you search around you will find other people in your situation.

Also if it is more for something to do, then maybe look at volunteering in your local area, many groups are always looking for people to donate their time. I appreciate Cumbria is very different from my urban setting but check out local papers or website as quite often they have listings of things that are going on.

Good luck with it all and feel free to post anytime you like, we also have an IVA support and discussion thread, which I know is hogged by a few of us but ignore that if you wish and just join in the thread with anything you want to say, as it is open to everyone.

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/4778005

greenbrucelee

Thanks for your support.

adyj73

Join a gym

I'm 40 and I have great fun at the local gym classes. Lots of lasses!!

BTW the secret is to regularly attend the proper classes like spinning, Bodypump and Combat as you get talking to all the regulars. Works better than just using the standard gym equipment where everyone normally wears headphones and avoid eye contact

Good luck!!

PS you also get fit :-)