Rehearsal Dinner ?!?!?!?!

fiscalfreckles

I think perhaps you are building up the rehearsal into something bigger than it is.

We had a similar experience to LEJC, the vicar actually forgot & we had to go & seek him out, then the whole thing took about 20 mins. We wished we hadn't bothered as my OH & the best man had traveled specially and it really wasn't worth it.

I'm glad I hadn't invited many others TBH, it would have been a bit embarrassing.

I really don't think a meal is necessary; a "rehearsal dinner" is a US tradition which is basically a run through of the entire wedding, reception & all! It isn't expected here & some people might even be reluctant to give up their time anyway so close to the wedding.

I think a drink afterwards, for those that want to, would be more than enough if it makes you happy, I can see where your OH is coming from.

Tashatutuw

LEJC wrote: »

Are you thanking those involved in your day with a gift or are you seeing this meal afterwards as the thank you?
Dont forget though that you are also thanking them and providing them with a meal at your reception so it may not be necessary to replicate it all again just a few days before the wedding too.
Perhaps if you still want to do something with those special to the wedding ceremony you could look at having a get together a few weeks after the wedding and that way it might seem a little more palatable to your OH...use it as a excuse to relive the day rather than another thing before the wedding happens...in my experience after the preparations are all dome and the day over there is the possiblility of the blues setting in,so having something to look foprward to as a married couple with your friends and family might not be a bad idea!

I think one of the main reasons I would like so much to do it is because a lot of our family live away, nearly all of H2Bs family live in Scotland, my brother is RAF and moves a lot and my other brother lives in Germany and this will be the first time ever we have managed to get everyone together. I feel we should maximise our opportunities whilst its possible.

I think I am just going to go home to H2B and propose we just do the drink think - still very sociable but kinder all round on our pocket.

And thanks for your concern tripled, that is both of our way, we disagree, we slam and stamp, we sleep on it and make up the next day. Whatever is my own way I would get in the end (I always do) its just with this I wondered what everyone else would do in my position.

Once again, thanks to all! :beer:

butterfly2001

the pub will be just as special believe it or not We only had the necessary people at the church rehearsal then planned to meet all those who wished to at the pub straight after. Like you many of ours had travelled so we wanted time with them.

floss2

OP, our family are scattered from Scotland to Guildford and all points inbetween. We married in our home town of Blckpool and the family who were staying the night before met us & my BM & her hubby for a nice family meal. It was lovely & relaxed, we all had a fab time chatting and TBH I'm glad we did it as we hardly had chance to speak to anyone on the day!

Torry_Quine

I've never heard of anyone having a rehearsal dinner, that to me is an unnecessary waste of money. The rehearsal itself takes a matter of only a few minutes and at mine there were only bride,groom, bridesmaid and best-man.

minerva_windsong

I can see why you want to do something for people coming a long way but I'd keep it much more casual - just mention that you're going to the pub for tea after the rehearsal if people would like to come, and leave it at that. My sister did that when she got married (her husband's family are from New Zealand and quite a few of them had flown over for the wedding, plus other people travelled from different parts of the country) and it was a really nice relaxed way to get to see people beforehand.

Gettin256

Is a rehearsal dinner not more of an american thing? I've never heard of anyone having one.
I did a rehearsal but only because the best man wasn't local and wanted a bit of guidance. it also gave my nieces and nephews an opportunity to see when their bit was and where they were standing etc which helped make them less nervous.

Mojisola

Tashatutuw wrote: »

My understanding is that when you have a Church wedding, before the big day you have a rehearsal along with all (or as many as possible) or your participants, so that on the day everyone knows where they need to be and what they need to do. H2B thinks this is unnecessary. I know our Vicar will want us to do this as she has already mentioned it to me.

Also, my understanding is that it is tradition to do a 'rehearsal dinner' after the Church rehearsal to thank all of the participants

Could you guys help us and if I am being silly - be brutally honest, I will admit it later I promise! :rotfl:

I think you're being silly.

As others have said, the rehearsal in this country is usually a quick meeting in the church with the vicar. If you get everyone who is coming to the wedding to come to the rehearsal, why would you need a second ceremony? Might as well get married during the rehearsal!

bcu67

As a Vicar I always insist on a rehearsal if possible.

It make the service go so much easier. Sometimes it's just the bride and groom, sometimes all the hangers on. It just a chance for people to practice which helps with the nerves on the day.

It doesn't take much time. I wouldn't make anyone travel a long way to be there. It's just a chance to go through the choreography and to answer any questions the bride and groom have - and more often than not - all the questions that the mother-of-the-bride has.

If someone like the best man is not at the rehearsal you can add little bits into the script like 'in a moment the best man will present the rings' to give them a chance to find them or 'the best man will now sit down' so they don't block the congregations (camera's) view of the bride and groom.

I do suggest that your H2B will be at the rehearsal.

I have never heard anyone do a rehearsal dinner, but they often do go into the pub opposite the church afterwards for a drink.

floss2

bcu67 wrote: »

As a Vicar I always insist on a rehearsal if possible.

It make the service go so much easier. Sometimes it's just the bride and groom, sometimes all the hangers on. It just a chance for people to practice which helps with the nerves on the day.

It doesn't take much time. I wouldn't make anyone travel a long way to be there. It's just a chance to go through the choreography and to answer any questions the bride and groom have - and more often than not - all the questions that the mother-of-the-bride has.

If someone like the best man is not at the rehearsal you can add little bits into the script like 'in a moment the best man will present the rings' to give them a chance to find them or 'the best man will now sit down' so they don't block the congregations (camera's) view of the bride and groom.

I do suggest that your H2B will be at the rehearsal.

I have never heard anyone do a rehearsal dinner, but they often do go into the pub opposite the church afterwards for a drink.

Such a sensible post from one who knows about these things - and I love the last sentence!