Single Mum needs to move forward.....
BeliveAndItWillHappen
Forumite 5 Posts
Hi, finally decided to take the plunge and try to motivate myself!
:j
I've been a user of the site for many years and wouldn't be where I am today without it. I've changed my username to be anonymous though!
A bit about me: for the last few years I have struggled with the break up of my marriage. I started the divorce when my youngest was only months old on the grounds of unreasonable behaviour...it was a bad time for us and it has taken a lot of coming to terms with. Since the divorce I've been bringing up my two kids on my own, and we're a very close little unit. I am self-employed and if there's a job out there I've tried it! Some were better than others
:o:o
I'm finally in a position where I can pay off the last credit card debt that he left me with. Overall with solicitors fees etc it was well over £10k. It has been a real struggle, and it is going to be hard to part with my savings to make that last payment - even though it makes sense....
I've now got a 0% credit card to sort out (around £600), and the biggest debt of all - the mortgage as the ex took the endowment policy with him as part of the divorce.
I really need a good kick up the bum to get going in 2014. I feel I have been holed up at home too long and need to make changes for both me and the kids. I need to make changes money wise, work wise, appearance wise and socially.....just need a big shove to get started
Good luck to all the other posters out there, this is such a fab forum and everyone has already been so supportive on my journey
Thanks for reading x
:j
I've been a user of the site for many years and wouldn't be where I am today without it. I've changed my username to be anonymous though!
A bit about me: for the last few years I have struggled with the break up of my marriage. I started the divorce when my youngest was only months old on the grounds of unreasonable behaviour...it was a bad time for us and it has taken a lot of coming to terms with. Since the divorce I've been bringing up my two kids on my own, and we're a very close little unit. I am self-employed and if there's a job out there I've tried it! Some were better than others
:o:oI'm finally in a position where I can pay off the last credit card debt that he left me with. Overall with solicitors fees etc it was well over £10k. It has been a real struggle, and it is going to be hard to part with my savings to make that last payment - even though it makes sense....
I've now got a 0% credit card to sort out (around £600), and the biggest debt of all - the mortgage as the ex took the endowment policy with him as part of the divorce.
I really need a good kick up the bum to get going in 2014. I feel I have been holed up at home too long and need to make changes for both me and the kids. I need to make changes money wise, work wise, appearance wise and socially.....just need a big shove to get started
Good luck to all the other posters out there, this is such a fab forum and everyone has already been so supportive on my journey
Thanks for reading x
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In gardens, beauty is a by-product. The main business is sex and death. ~Sam Llewelyn
'On the internet no one knows you are a cat'
You've already got rid of two heavy weights off your shoulders - debt and your ex! Well done - this alone shows that you are a strong person and can make huge steps forward in 2014. Now for the changes!
Do you have any family/friends support? If so, use them (in the nicest sense of course). You are not only 'mum', you are a person in your own right too. Join a club, take a course etc. which could also help with the income.
Enhancing your work prospects will help with the money situation.
Enhancing your income will help with your social situation.
Enhancing your social situation will enhance your 'appearance'.
One step will lead to the next etc.
Tell yourself 'I can do' on a daily basis and it WILL happen.
I found it helpful to set targets. For example this month I will explore training opportunities. Within 6 months I will apply for jobs that will pay my worth.
Btw, your kids will recognise the 'new you' which will impact on them in a positive way. What better example can you be?
Just to add, when all this c%^p landed at my door, I felt like crawling into the nearest big, black hole! I have since gained my degree, got a job which covers the bills (and a little extra) and most importantly have raised 2 kids who are intelligent (both Russell Group universities), kind, caring, quick witted and confident. All down to me - you betcha!
Good luck!
Well done Pont on your story, you're an inspiration :A ...your advice has really got me thinking. I do need a starting point. At the moment I am just surviving, but surviving I am.
I have enrolled on a course and paid the fee....but haven't had the time to get stuck in as I have needed to put the hours in work wise to generate income
I volunteer one night a week, and have some nice friends. But I'm not overly confident. I've put on some weight working at home online and comfort eating
Good luck! You will do it!
RR x
LBM FEB 2013 32,000 total.
May 2014 Mum 1500/3000 MB CC 8,043
BC1 1,900 BC2 5,551 TES 4,896 Nationwide 5,490
Overdraft 3000 Total debt Feb 2014
It's not easy but it's so worthwhile, my two are now Nearly grown up and lovely human beings. One at uni, one applying this year, it's always been hard but one smile makes it worthwhile.
Total debt as of 28/4/19 £7867.38:eek:
minus 112.06 = £7755.32:money:
:money:Sleeves up folks.:money:
OP - why not suggest a night out with your volunteer friends? It needn't cost a lot but may give you the kickstart towards the other changes you mentioned?
Keep setting realistic goals - you may not realise all of them, but a few 'ticks' as acheived will certainly raise confidence levels. A haircut (something totally diferent?) is a postitive step forward.
Btw, I found a new haircut and red clothes helped ;-)
I've been working today, trying to get ahead so I could study tomorrow. Didn't get my project finished though and I'm too tired to work anymore and I still have uniforms to do
Pont thanks for your words...must report back with haircut booked tomorrow! New clothes are a must too, I've been so busy saving money that my wardrobe is pretty much none existant....I barely have enough clothes to last me a week and am wearing boots from three years ago that I don't particularly like
You should bottle your positivity, I love it :T:T
Been sorting the finances today, and couldn't quite manage to pay off that loan
On a positive note received £30 for switching suppliers using MSE today and a £50 Populuslive cheque at the weekend
From the other end of a similar story, I saw my mum and dad go through an awful breakup when I was only 4, all because my dad decided to leave her for an 18 year old. I saw my mum hit rock bottom with all the debt he left her, she literally scraped herself up off the floor and raised me and my sister on her own.
I have nothing but respect for her, I am how I am because of her.... and if anything I have spent my 24 years making sure I turn out nothing like my waste of space dad.
Anyway Just wanted to let you know that all the hard times you have been through are not for nothing, and they don't go unnoticed.
Well done on your progress!
x
Survey xmas 2018 savings: £10 / £150