I need a kick up the bum!!!

Northern78

Hi all

I'm feeling a bit sorry for myself when I have no reason to be so I'm hoping for a swift kick up the bum to get me out of this.

DH is a member of the armed forces, we have a DS who'll be 2 in a fortnight. DH is currently based in London and was due to move to a new posting in May but at the start of January the drafting desk told him he could stay till next year and then do a 6 month post overseas. That was all to be confirmed at the end of February.

Anyway I stupidly went about making plans, doing up the house, holidays, trying for baby no2 etc then last night got a call from him saying that they had changed his posting and he was off to a new posting in May which will means he's away months at a time then only weekends when he's in this country.

I'm mad at myself for feeling so down about it, we've got a house, both have jobs, great family support, our health and more importantly we've got our amazing little man but I can't help but feel this is us waving goodbye to our chance of baby no2.

It took us a long time to conceive DS and I'm not getting any younger at 35.

DH did say he would hand his notice in if it was a choice between us and his job but I would never ask or want him to do that. I knew what I was taking on when I married someone in the forces.

Christ, I feel like such a mardy !!!!! when there's people with much worse problems than mine. I guess I just need someone to tell me to stop feeling sorry for myself and appreciate what I've got.

opinions4u

Stop feeling sorry for yourself and appreciate what you've got.

Artytarty

I second that advice.
Who knows, this time next week you be wishing that is all you have to worry about!
Also, why can't you try for the baby between now and may and then when you have the chance on his home visits?

Northern78

I third that advice cos that's exactly what I need!!

They have to send him on course in preparation for his next post so his time at home will be limited now.

I actually feel better for writing it down and reading it, I never thought that worked!

AcidHouse

Read your post back to yourself. You already have things in your life at the age of 35 than others can only dream of having in their lives.

Let go of the ideas you had for the year now that the plans are changed. Pull yourself together for your DH. Focus on what happens between now and May - book up as much family time as you can. Make some plans so you can have some fun together.

Create some memories for you all, and for him to take with him in May. Live in the now. :j

opinions4u

Northern78 wrote: »

I third that advise cos that's exactly what I need!!

They have to send him on course in preparation for his next post so his time at home will be limited now.

I actually feel better for writing it down and reading it, I never thought that worked!

In fairness to you, making positive plans and having something beyond your control is frustrating.

The trick is to, somehow, pick yourself up and revise those plans. Keep the bits you can do. Defer the bits you can't. Fill the gap with something new.

Life will always deal us unexpected things. If it upsets the applecart there's no harm in being upset or disappointed for a short while. But only a short while.

Things have changed - enjoy adjusting to it!

Northern78

Thanks AcidHouse, you're right, live for the now and make some memories, I like it.

I sound so ungrateful but I really do appreciate what I've got.

valk_scot

I would be having as much sex as possible between now and May if I were you. Still got four months before he goes and you never know, it's very possible you'll get pregnant more easily this time round.

sweetcheekz

Another Military wife here, and I understand totally. It sometimes feels like we have no say in our own lives, we go where we are told, when we are told etc. It is ok to feel cross about it for a little while, but ultimately it will not change anything so it is time to suck it up and move forward .

skintchick

If you want another baby then try before he goes, and surely some of his visits will coincide with you ovulating? Just keep trying

It is annoying when plans are scuppered though, you're only human and we all feel like that sometimes.