Where do we start?

xsussax

Unfortunately we couldn't borrow from our parents this time around due to them not being flush with money at this current time, plus partner's mum is ill and we don't want to burden them anymore than we already have. We tried looking at renting a car until payday but it was too much for us, and as we needed a car desperately for work this was our last resort. I'm with you dancingfairy in that we too are very concerned about the impact this is going to have on us (I've not slept much), but I'm assured that if anything goes wrong with the car, due to the 3-yr warranty, Ford will fix it for free and there's also no car tax to pay and we're saving a bit of money on the insurance too. If anything, apart from the boiler, our cars have always been the main culprit to drain our disposable income when they've gone wrong so at least we'll know where we are from now on too, but it is far too high a monthly outgoing for my liking. We're just going to have to juggle and survive until our credit cards and catalogues are paid off and when they are the money we're paying monthly for them will pay for the car. I'm thinking of selling some things on Ebay at the weekend to help go towards paying off one of my credit cards as I'm anxious to get them settled asap now.

hampsterpoo

Hi , try to get a good nights sleep , I know it could be tough,

I dont mean to come across as rude, but I may , but you need a kick up the bum , you have posted a SOA but not a TRUE SOA

In the morning , or when you can , you need to redo your SOA

WHERE WAS THE WE OWE 9K to family ??????????????
Now you have the car loan aswell

If you dont face the full amount now your only going to be doing half the job needed.

Yes look at ebaying stuff BUT CANCEL THE GYM ASAP ,,,,, if you really want to spend £60 a month you cant afford to spend send it to a charity because it will do more good ther than at the gym.
YOU owe family 9k
9k divided by £60 a month = 150 payments 2.88 years to pay off or go to the gym

" I know we ought to cancel our memberships but we really enjoy going and I can't bring myself to do it yet I'm sorry to say"

Sorry to be harsh but having been through hard times I didnt get the borrow 9k of anyone , but if I had I wouldnt have had the bare faced cheek to rub the fact im off to the gym each week in their faces.

Unfortunately we couldn't borrow from our parents this time around due to them not being flush with money at this current time,

Would this be due to the fact you already owe them 9k ?????
I as a parent/grandparent to 5 would be unwilling to give yet more of my hard earned money to you if you already had borrowed so much.
YOU HAVE NOT LEARN'T from past mistakes and asks for help.

You need to set up a DD or standing order to them to pay back a set amount each month to show them you are working to pay back what you owe them. Even if its just £5 its show your trying and want to repay.

If my kids where to do that , after time I would be willing to help them out again WHEN I Could , which might not be when they needed it butcould help.

And they have done this
and I have helped, Im still paying my DD USA medical bill she picked up 2 years ago, only £3000+ to go

Sorry to be blunt rude or upsetting , but you really need to get your head around the fact you need to be totally honest with your debts, honest with yourselves, and sort it ASAP, its not going away.

What phones have you got ,?? you say you cant cancel yet , can you sell the phones and downgrade the phone ???
Be real
Yes its nice to have a great fast phone that can do this and that you can check facebook/twitter/whatsapp on the move. But a Nokia will still ring and send a text!!!

CANCEL SKY you cant afford it FULL STOP.Forget what I said before , I didnt have the full facts.

Sorry if you dont think Im right in the way I've written this and how it comes across ,
but you need to be told ,you need to wake up to the full picture , your debt isnt just you , its had a impact on family aswell.

Have you checked what time the boot sale is open sunday yet?
Found stuff to ebay yet ?

You have started the long journey it will be hard and tough but well done in starting it, you know Im right in being harsh/blunt , get angry with me about it but after the smoke settles you'll thank me for giving you focus.
We are all here to help , but you need to face the full hard facts and then move on and ask for help whenever your want. Read the site all over , check the declutter section for tips. Oldschool boards for food tips .
This site is brilliant , it just takes a little effort to find stuff and its fun to. you learn something everyday you come, good and bad.

Sleep tight. sweet dreams and dont spend any money in your dreams what ever you do

cheers
:beer:

dancingfairy

I would definitely redo your soa to include the car and the loan from your parents.
I presume you will want to set up some sort of repayment plan with your parents, even as hamsterpoo says it's just a token amount for now.
Can you do anything with the old car? Can you sell it for scrap or anything? Give it to the firebrigade to cut up (not sure if they pay for this?).
Refocus and get back on the waggon.
df

xsussax

Bank of mum and dad are on the SOA. We're paying them £100 pm. And yes, we didn't even want to attempt to borrow anything from them this time because 1) you're right, we already owe them 9k and 2) we didn't ask them as I know my mum just helped towards my sister moving home and 2) partner's mum is ill and retired. The loan dates back from when we boughthe the house; they wanted to do it for us to help us furnish it. Unfortunately at the time our mortgage covered most of our monthly income and we were earning half of what we are today, so they said they'd be flexible with us. As my partner's job boosted our income last year, we started paying them back.

chirpychick

It worries me that you can't see that you are spiralling! I wonder how mum and dad will feel when they see your brand spanking new car!
You need to take action before it's too late - from someone who's been there and now paying the penalty!

bsms1147

Cut out

Gym Membership.......................... 60
British Gas Homecare.................... 24
Experian................................ 15
Equifax................................. 9
Tesco Food Stamps....................... 15
Park Christmas Savings.................. 45
Satellite/Cable TV...................... 83

Reduce

Mobile phone............................ 44
Groceries etc. ......................... 400
Clothing................................ 50
Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 50
Haircuts................................ 21
Electricity............................. 42
Gas..................................... 67
Water rates............................. 49

These may all be lower/not necessary with the new car

Petrol/diesel........................... 350
Road tax................................ 16
Car Insurance........................... 53
Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 30


That's £500 shaved off your monthly spend.

xsussax

Thanks for the very constructive advice, bsms 1147.


We've already cut out Experian, Equifax and Netflix and they'll be no more savings stamps for Tesco as we have all that we wanted saved up as of now. My partner did something with Sky today which means we'll save money as we're now getting our broadband free. As mentioned above, I switched to an online shop at the weekend and spent £75 for 10 days' food so we'll be carrying on with that from now on.


I know we should cut the gym out for financial reasons but it benefits me health-wise. Since starting in March and doing gym/swim 3 x a week it's made controlling my IBS a lot easier and when I last saw my GP in May she was very pleased and encouraged me to keep attending. I also really, really enjoy going and have gotten to know a few people there and will be upset if I can no longer attend. If, however, push comes to shove in the coming months of course I'll temporarily cancel it until we're back on track.


Just bought my Godson a £7.99 toy for his birthday on Fri and a card from the Card Factory (I'd normally do Moonpig and spend about £20-£25 on a toy) so we're also learning there thanks to you lot. I guess we didn't appreciate just how much every little bit of scrimping helps until you see the bigger picture - £10 here and £20 there doesn't seem like a lot until you add it all up.


New car: No road tax and eco engine so fuel will be cheaper to run. I've spoken to both sets of parents tonight following hampsterpoo's comments as I've been dwelling on it since [EMAIL="I@ve"]I've[/EMAIL] read it. Both expressed how necessary it was to get a car at short notice for my partner's job and while we're paying them the agreed amounts back and have been for a while now, they're not upset in the slightest. I still feel very guilty and worried though and will do until we've managed to get some debts down.


We don't have to start paying for the car until the end of Aug so we're using the end of July's disposable income to bring my Barclaycard and partner's Cap 1 down in preparation.

dancingfairy

It sounds like a car is a necessity it's just a shame that you weren't able to get one cheaper. You also appear to be on a slippery slope, originally it was 10k then it turned out to be 15k and now you've got an extra 10k on top of that. Hopefully you can begin to turn things around from here on in by really thinking about what you're buying and where you can save as it feels like you are at the tipping point and could go one way or the other from here.
I'd like to come back in 6 months and here a positive success story.
df

hampsterpoo

Hi well done on the start you have made :T, when you get a chance re do your SOA with the reduced sky and other bits and pieces.

What about the spend diary ?
What do you do about lunch ?
Do you make your own and take it in or buy something everyday . Just jotting that down each day will at the end of the week show you the wider picture as to where all those odd purcashes add up.

Well thats it from me today and Im off to take some clothes that didnt sell on ebay ( 5 times) or at the boot sale (2 times)
to be turned into cash .
Then stop off at the bank on the way back ,to put that in as well as a cheque otherwise we'd just spent it. it might only be a few ££S but it adds up.:T
* didnt stop of at the bank because couldnt get parked for free, I've an extra day of Sat so its free parking in the afternoon so I'll go then*
Oh I got £7.00 for 2 bags . 70p a kilo for anyone wondering.

Every little helps.
Also you might want to look at the
What small DFW things will you do today? thread to give you a little motivation to get started.
cheers :beer:

bugslet

xsussax wrote: »

we're looking into pet insurance (my elderly cat costs £25 per month for his).

my partner's car finally gave in on him with £70 petrol in the tank as he'd just filled up (2 garages have said it's only good for scrap). .

As a pet owner myself, I say this with the best intention, but for the £25.00 a month are you getting the meds and bloods etc paid for, for that amount of money? Everyone has to take a view on this, but when mine get to a certain age, if they need anything invasive doing to them, then I don't do it. I keep them comfortable until the time comes for them to go. I don't know the circumstances of your cats illness and not intending to upset you.

You didn't drain the fuel?:( A minute on youtube and you could have retrieved a chunk of that fuel.

What is your partners annual mileage?