Baby Shower

Nicki

Why are some people so churlish and negative about christenings, baby showers, renewal of vows, second weddings, etc and assume that they are ruses to cheat them out if money, rather than excuses for friends to get together and have fun? If you really don't want to go, that's fine, stay at home and count your money, but there isn't really any need to be nasty about others who host them or attend them.

FWIW I didn't have a baby shower for any of my 3. It wasn't in vogue with my circle of friends at the time and it would never occur to me to throw one for myself. I was showered with gifts when they all arrived though which was lovely so I think the giving of gifts for a new baby is an old tradition. I have attended a couple of showers recently. Neither were arranged by the mum to be, and both were complete surprises to her where she was lured to a friend's house under false pretences to find the rest of us there. Both were lovely loving occasions and just as a friend of the mum to be I got a lot out of attending them as it is nice to spend time with good friends especially just before you know they will be rushed off their feet and preoccupied for months with a newborn or very young baby.

For gifts, I tend to spend around £20 and buy something you can never have too many of - so usually an outfit or a blanket or a toy. I'd never buy something you'd only need one of like a baby book or a cot mobile or something of that ilk because if they want that they probably have it already. But it is quite common to buy something for the mum instead such as toiletries or foods if that would be easier OP

Person_one

Nicki wrote: »

Why are some people so churlish and negative about christenings, baby showers, renewal of vows, second weddings, etc and assume that they are ruses to cheat them out if money, rather than excuses for friends to get together and have fun? If you really don't want to go, that's fine, stay at home and count your money, but there isn't really any need to be nasty about others who host them or attend them.

FWIW I didn't have a baby shower for any of my 3. It wasn't in vogue with my circle of friends at the time and it would never occur to me to throw one for myself. I was showered with gifts when they all arrived though which was lovely so I think the giving of gifts for a new baby is an old tradition.

Why would people need an excuse to get together? People get together all the time...

No, sorry, a party where the explicit purpose is to get presents is really crass and unpleasant. If you just want to get together, why call it a baby shower which then creates the expectation of gifts? In America, the central feature of the party is everyone sitting around watching the presents get opened and gushed over! Sorry, but yuk.

It is traditional to give a present at the birth of a baby if you're close to the parents and you want, that's perfectly nice and fine, but they shouldn't ask for a present!

Another reason I don't like baby showers is that they take a successful pregnancy and a healthy baby rather for granted, don't you think? There are no guarantees until the little one has arrived safe and sound.

Nicki

Person_one wrote: »

Why would people need an excuse to get together? People get together all the time...

No, sorry, a party where the explicit purpose is to get presents is really crass and unpleasant. If you just want to get together, why call it a baby shower which then creates the expectation of gifts? In America, the central feature of the party is everyone sitting around watching the presents get opened and gushed over! Sorry, but yuk.

It is traditional to give a present at the birth of a baby if you're close to the parents and you want, that's perfectly nice and fine, but they shouldn't ask for a present!

Another reason I don't like baby showers is that they take a successful pregnancy and a healthy baby rather for granted, don't you think? There are no guarantees until the little one has arrived safe and sound.

The American way may be to focus only on the presents but that wasn't what happened in either of the two I went to. Yes gifts were given but in the same way that you would give a gift if you went to a birthday party, or even just to someone's house for dinner. And given that in the examples I gave the mum to be didn't even know she was having a shower until she arrived, she hardly asked for anything or made any assumptions!

As for your last point, most parents equip themselves for the new arrival before the baby arrives. Are you seriously trying to say having an extra babygro or two in the cupboard would add to the grief if the worst happened? You could equally well say that having a gathering before the baby arrives reaffirms to the mum to be that she has a strong friendship circle who will be there to support her whatever happens and is therefore a positive thing to do in an uncertain world.

If you don't like them and don't want to attend them, then there is nothing to stop you from politely declining and then giving a gift if you want to when the baby is born. What I find more distasteful than a baby shower though is a gaggle of women who are supposed to be friends of the mum to be sitting around and !!!!!ing about her and calling her greedy because they have been invited to what is now quite a common social event before the baby arrives.

Person_one

Oh, none of my social circle do baby showers, thankfully, and if we want to spend time together, we just do.

Its not the practicalities of being prepared for a baby, its the idea of celebrating the fact before its even a fact!

barbiedoll

fluffnutter wrote: »

I can't think of much worse than a load of women all sitting around giving some harassed, swollen mum-to-be the benefit of their collective 'advice'. The best thing to do about baby advice, I've found, is to ignore it all

Oh yes, what a lovely afternoon to be had, listening to everyone's horror stories of their birth experience, their breastfeeding travails and their endless whinges about their useless partner, lack of sleep and loss of libido etc etc etc.

I'd rather do without the presents!

ska_lover

DKLS wrote: »

The male version is much simpler:


My mate - Wife is pregnant
Me: Congrats your not a Jaffa, pint?


Weekend or 2 after little one appears, wet babies head with numerous jagermeisters and that's it, no presents or cupcakes involved.

Hahaha! I love that. :rotfl:

supersaver2

fluffnutter wrote: »

Calm down dear. No one's having a go at the OP. She sounds very generous and I've taken time to source a few gifts in her price range. Doesn't mean I have to like the idea of baby showers though does it?

No of course you don't have to like the idea of baby showers, but the op didn't ask for opinions on liking baby showers, did they? Its a bit like me replying on this thread that I dislike horses, pretty irrelevant to the original topic! Plus not sure I need calm down, I'm not getting my knickers in a knot about a stranger from the internet spending £30.00 on a gift for a friend!

Person_one

You do know this is a discussion forum?

marjrie_2

I want to say thanks for all of the ideas, and opinions on baby showers. To be honest I'm just happy to be invited to go out for the day.
I think I will get one of the nice blankets or the sleep sheep. I had no idea there were so many lovely gifts to be had.
Thanks again to everyone

fluffnutter

supersaver2 wrote: »

No of course you don't have to like the idea of baby showers, but the op didn't ask for opinions on liking baby showers, did they? Its a bit like me replying on this thread that I dislike horses, pretty irrelevant to the original topic! Plus not sure I need calm down, I'm not getting my knickers in a knot about a stranger from the internet spending £30.00 on a gift for a friend!

No, you're not. You're getting your knickers in a knot about something else entirely.