The Giving Up/ Cutting Down alcohol support thread - number 13

Honey_Bear

Welcome Gonzo! I'd second Maman's view - see how you get on in September and then think about what you want to do next. Giving up is a bit of mental hurdle that get's easier as you go along, but moderating works really really well for some people - just not for me.

5/30 please, Shaggy.

Gonzo1987

Thanks guys! I have managed 4/30 so far, even went to the pub yesterday for a diet coke. I'll take each day as it comes and see how I get on. So far, so good though!

Dansmam

5/30 - so far so good!

satchmo1

I'm thoroughly fed up with being trapped by my husband's depression. I invited my niece to come next weekend, with her infant daughter, and he says he'll likely take himself off. Well, go then, cos I'm fed up of not being able to invite family to stay for over 12 years. I've every right to invite people to stay. The sad thing is, that this niece understands his depression and is sympathetic towards him.


I hate being unable to be sure that a social event will materialise. He's dragging me down. I may love him, but it doesn't mean I have to subjugate my social needs.


I've drunk a bottle of wine, so yes, I'm feeling belligerent.

Dansmam

Oh satchmo, so sorry to hear that. In this house I'm the depressive so (and I realise this won't help you particularly) it really helps me so much to hear how it is from the perspective of someone living with a depressed person. Are you able to tell him how affects you? It helps me when I can admit I need support but I have no clue whether your partner can do that yet. You may just need to do what's right for you until he decides for himself he needs to turn around. That's what I did but it took a long time. So meanwhile you need to make the good things happen without relying on him. Hard and not fair, but otherwise good things are less likely to happen. You deserve good things. Hugs x

Dansmam

Still 5/30. Pleased with that.

Barny1979

6/30 AFDs today :-)

Honey_Bear

Satchmo, I found a line in a novel recently that completely transformed how I live: 'Nothing good had ever come to her through waiting.' I don't know if that resonates for you but if you're waiting for your OH's depression to be cured, or lift, it sounds as though your life's on hold. I love my OH to bits but he's a worklaholic and after 20 years of waiting for him to have time for me, I just stopped waiting for him to make time to do stuff with me and got on with what I wanted to do. That left him feeling he was missing out on good things, so now he's started being much more flexible, which was a very surprising bonus because I was enjoying myself doing stuff on my own!

I hope the weekend with your neice is fun, and you're absolutely right to get on with your life while your OH deals with his depression. You can't be walking around on eggshells all the time.

5/30 please, Shaggy.

thriftmonster

August - I'm declaring 6/14 which is 6 more than I would have had. I also had a lot more AL days so that's a success as well.

Can you put me down for 14 for September as well please Shaggy.

Need to catch up on the threads - have been decorating and a lot of stress at work.

Sandypan

Could I join please?

I've tried so many times to cut down but it just doesn't work! I have a stressful job and a partner who enjoys the social aspect of drinking and I have felt bad in the past it I haven't joined in. It is now affecting my health, my appearance and also too many hangovers where I say never again only to start again the very next day. On September 1st I had my last drink and so far have not had another for the last 5 days! It has been hard and I have a massive headache ever since but I am determined this time! I don't intend to give up forever but just feel that I need to give my body a rest! So could I have 29 AF days for September please?