The Giving Up/ Cutting Down alcohol support thread - number 13

Slowdown

Hi there,
Well I came on this thread last year to try and cut down the amount I was drinking and I now have got to the point where I am awake in the middle of the night worrying about my habits and in need of support.
I have been off work for the last two weeks and had a drink every night bar two. Most nights I have drunk several glasses of wine or beer and need to have a break. I drink from stress and a need to opt out most of the time and I need to change.
It is the 21st today and I would like to stay AF until the end of the month but frankly find the idea frightening. Ridiculous isn't it.
Please can someone give me a hand here and help me to change.
I wasn't going to drink last night but after an argument with my son and the prospect of returning to work tomorrow I ended up half a bottle of wine and a bottle of beer the worse off. It was all a coping mechanism and needs to stop before I do myself damage if I haven't done so already. I usually drink three or so nights a week but it has been creeping up and up.
Feeling worried and out of control.
Kind regards
Slowdown

Wanna_Bee_Free

Hello Slowdown, hugs. I am not sure I am the best person to help as I'm nursing my own slightly worse for wear feeling this morning after diving into some red wine (family related coping strategy too.)

First of all I would say don't think ahead too far - shall we look at keeping today booze free instead? I need to too so if you wanna do it together then I'm in with you too...

Secondly the thing is wanting to change is big progress in itself so try and be kind to yourself during this turning point.

When I read yyour post I also wondered about the days you didn't drink this fortnight - was there anything different about them.

Off to rack my brains about what other helpful things I can tell you.

Ooh, just thought of 1 - HALT - Hungry Angry Lonely Tired. Difficult to head off all of them but the first one might be a good start to make sure we don't get hungry.

Back in a bit to check in on here...

paulineb_2

Slowdown wrote: »

Hi there,
Well I came on this thread last year to try and cut down the amount I was drinking and I now have got to the point where I am awake in the middle of the night worrying about my habits and in need of support.
I have been off work for the last two weeks and had a drink every night bar two. Most nights I have drunk several glasses of wine or beer and need to have a break. I drink from stress and a need to opt out most of the time and I need to change.
It is the 21st today and I would like to stay AF until the end of the month but frankly find the idea frightening. Ridiculous isn't it.
Please can someone give me a hand here and help me to change.
I wasn't going to drink last night but after an argument with my son and the prospect of returning to work tomorrow I ended up half a bottle of wine and a bottle of beer the worse off. It was all a coping mechanism and needs to stop before I do myself damage if I haven't done so already. I usually drink three or so nights a week but it has been creeping up and up.
Feeling worried and out of control.
Kind regards
Slowdown

You need to manage the stress and also think of ways you can deal with life stuff such as arguing without reaching for alcohol.

I went through some stuff over a 12 year period, work related stress and bullying and by the time I got out of that career I was very low and my drinking had increased to daily. Even if it wasnt a lot, there was always alcohol in my flat, every night of the week, just a constant drip drip drip effect.

I was definitely psychologically addicted. My aim was to stop all year and not have another drink if at all and it hasnt panned out like that, but so far this year, Ive had many more alcohol free days than not. Ive had one or two drinks in the house since New Year, on my birthday and last week. When I go out with my mum I'll have becks blue or soda water and there have been nights out where I have been on a big night out as opposed to being in the local with my mum where Ive been alcohol free, just had alcohol free beer or a soft drink.

Getting those first few alcohol free days in I think is key. Like you I didnt think I could do it. Ive had more alcohol free days this year than I have in the last 5 and thats the truth.

Some are better than others but there are some really nice alcohol free beers out there. It might help in the transition period where you are trying to cut down but still want something that tastes like beer. I know some people dont drink and cant drink any kind of replacement for alcohol if you like but some do.

Ive also found a de alcoholised wine called fre, you get it in asda, its £2.79, they do red, white and rose. Its much much nicer than eisberg. Ive not had a lot of that but on the occasions Ive wanted a bottle of wine as it were, thats what Ive bought.

Also, try and find other ways to manage your stress, with professional support if necessary. There have been times in my life where I have been drinking to hazardous levels, it had to stop.

Slowdown

Hi again,
Thanks for replying Wanna Bee Free and Paulineb. You have both made some great suggestions and I really appreciate you taking the time to reply.
Re the stress. I actually think I hate my job. I am a teacher and funnily enough I'm good at it. But after almost 25 years I'm tired, disillusioned and demoralised. I try not to let this affect my performance in the classroom and so far I have won that battle but it's a proper struggle to keep at it. I have looked at alternatives but some jobs would require retraining which I can't afford, some jobs simply don't pay enough. If I had my choice I would spend my time gardening and keeping chickens. Added to that stress are 3 children of my own, one girl sitting exams at uni studying physics and two boys, one sitting a levels and one his GCSEs. Neither are very motivated and both are moody and grumpy. Good results needed but possibly not on the horizon causing more stress. Added to this is an extremely stressed and tired head teacher husband in charge of two inner city schools. He is spending this bank holiday in bed with a chest infection. This is why I drink.
I go yoga once a week, meditation once a fortnight but nothing seems to work like alcohol for relaxation.
I am going to team up with you today Wanna Bee Free and go for a AF day. Not look too far ahead and not give myself a hard time.
Thanks for your help. I shall be staying on here for the duration to help keep me on the straight and narrow.
Kind regards
Slowdown

paulineb_2

Slowdown wrote: »

Hi again,
Thanks for replying Wanna Bee Free and Paulineb. You have both made some great suggestions and I really appreciate you taking the time to reply.
Re the stress. I actually think I hate my job. I am a teacher and funnily enough I'm good at it. But after almost 25 years I'm tired, disillusioned and demoralised. I try not to let this affect my performance in the classroom and so far I have won that battle but it's a proper struggle to keep at it. I have looked at alternatives but some jobs would require retraining which I can't afford, some jobs simply don't pay enough. If I had my choice I would spend my time gardening and keeping chickens. Added to that stress are 3 children of my own, one girl sitting exams at uni studying physics and two boys, one sitting a levels and one his GCSEs. Neither are very motivated and both are moody and grumpy. Good results needed but possibly not on the horizon causing more stress. Added to this is an extremely stressed and tired head teacher husband in charge of two inner city schools. He is spending this bank holiday in bed with a chest infection. This is why I drink.
I go yoga once a week, meditation once a fortnight but nothing seems to work like alcohol for relaxation.
I am going to team up with you today Wanna Bee Free and go for a AF day. Not look too far ahead and not give myself a hard time.
Thanks for your help. I shall be staying on here for the duration to help keep me on the straight and narrow.
Kind regards
Slowdown

I know teaching can be a tough job, most of my family were teachers. All I can say now is I really do think you need to manage your family stress/work stress in other ways, I know its tough, but what happens is, you'll have a drink because you feel stressed and then it becomes a habit. It was definitely a habit with me, you end up daily drinking because thats what you do.

Alcohol doesnt make the stress go away, it wont make you feel better. You'll feel worse in a lot of ways, its a depressant, one thing I really dont miss is waking up feeling rough, there are so many positives to not drinking compared to drinking. Its about replacing those times when you need to let off steam, something rather than a bottle of wine.

I do know what its like to be stressed, I gave up a long career due to bullying in the workplace and I was ill for a long time, its not easy.

And if you do crack and have a drink on a non drinking day, dont beat yourself up about it, its not the end of the world.

And speaking as someone who got out of a job that was making them ill and earns a quarter of what I used to, its worth the drop in salary if you can afford it to do something that gives you satisfaction.

I know for some people it really isnt practical to do that but in the long term, hopefully you'll work out a solution.

Wanna_Bee_Free

Slowdown wrote: »

I am going to team up with you today Wanna Bee Free and go for a AF day. Not look too far ahead and not give myself a hard time.
Thanks for your help. I shall be staying on here for the duration to help keep me on the straight and narrow.
Slowdown

Right, count me in for today with you Slowdown. I know that stress is a factor and I've been doing more exercise which is helping me sleep better. back later.

lamarsi

hi everyone, well I've been rubbish! drank every single day! not tonight though and determined to do better!
on the plus side if I can find one I've not been drinking excessively and to the point of drunkenness .. I have cut back .... one night I poured a glass of wine had a couple of mouthful's and fell asleep and spoiled what could have been AF night oh well

Barny1979

16/20 AFDs today

Green_Karen

20 AF with tonight being the only drinking night so far in the month - am off this week from work though so that could be the start! :rotfl:
Not going mad though, just probably stopping at the one glass which was lovely.

debjay

Still on 7/16 - bit disappointed. Combination of things really - couple of 5 day weekends and DS 20 home on leave from RAF. Not sure I'll reach my target this month bit like last month