CSA - Partner witholding son

sunnysea83

I have joint custody of my son with my ex wife.

He is 11, he has been coming every other weekend till the end of Oct when my ex wife decided she didnt want him to come anymore for no reason what so ever.

I have contacted her every weekend I am meant to have him since, driven over to collect him to find no one in.

Today I received a call from CSA to inform me that the ex wife had rung them and informed them that joint custody was no longer in place, it is, shes just breaking it and im currently in the process of taking her to court to get an enforcement order. shes attempted this in the past and been warned by the court if she does it again she will be fined.


I have been told my payments will increase considerably as I am no longer in joint custody, I do have joint custody and a legal document that states so shes just refusing access.

The csa informed this doesnt matter, they arent bothered about the legal document and will only go on the evidence before them which is that I am not seeing my son and therefore not in joint custody. they are not interested in the fact that she is witholding him from me.

I asked what would happen should she change her mind in a weeks time and let him come, shes done it before, would they lower the payments back, no not unless she informs them or I send them evidence such as a photo of my son with a newspaper each time!

Its crazy, I have joint custody, she is refusing me access for no reason in breach of the order and CSA are punishing me further for it.

Has anyone else been in this situation and can advise?

CSAworkerx

Ok, so access is where it gets messy, We are not trained legal professionals, and the answer you got is the standard, we work on the here and now, If your not seeing your son, you will be assessed as such, Do i think that is fair? God no, To many times ive had dads on the phone in tears, grown men, because they arent allowed access to there kids, and alot of the time its literally done to increase payments, Thats not only wrong on a legal perspective, but on a moral one aswell.

that said, you will get assessed on the maximum until such a time the shared care resumes, Be-it by a court order or simply your ex allowing access, ive read countless documents sent in showing that a father and even sometimes mother should be getting 50% care, or there abouts, but we simply disreguard them and ask you both what is happening NOW.

I do wish you luck tho, Court is defiantly the answer here, once shes made to allow you to see your child, the problems at the csa will be null and void.

sunnysea83

thank you csaworkerx for your reply. it just seems very unfair that I am losing out on seeing my son through no fault of my own and now the csa is taking more money to give to her.

I am waiting to hear from the court.

jayjayuk

Hi,

I'm really sorry to hear what your ex is putting you through. It clearly sounds like she's aiming for more money or for you not to have contact with your son!

I really think there is some guide or book out there for women like this and they must all read it! I can't understand why they do it!?!? It really miffs me. I really feel that this will happen to me one day and unfortunately I won't be able to afford the court costs again!

Csa really need to look into cases where people are stopped access for no reason where there is a court order especially and the csa payments should be reduced to the base pay of 7 a week!

Csa_Survivor

sunnysea83 wrote: »

I asked what would happen should she change her mind in a weeks time and let him come, shes done it before, would they lower the payments back, no not unless she informs them or I send them evidence such as a photo of my son with a newspaper each time!

WHAT!, you have to take photos of your kid with a newspaper?, not being funny but that is despicable really when you think about it, especially seeing as you will have to do it for weeks and weeks before anyone from CSA will probably believe you and do anything about it!
It was only a few days ago I was feeling mischievous again and commented tongue in cheek on a post by CSAworkerx which stated that we all have "a right to be believed". I joked that I hoped CSAworkerx had got some new glasses for Christmas because the statement that had been read probably actually said, "right to be belittled", it seems that Iwas right after all!!!

timbo58

These people helped me a great deal when I was faced with similar nonsense many years ago.

http://www.fnf.org.uk

Chin up, YOU are doing everything right, she is being downright stupid.

Although I can see why the CSA have made this decision -it's seemingly logical after all, it is a wrong decision to make as it rewards illegal activity, I can't think of anything else where breaking the law actually ends up benefiting the law breaker officially?!

jayjayuk

Once again it seems csa is all for mothers and what they can get rather than the welfare of the child seeing both parents. They should be asking both sides why the contact had been reduced with the court order and if there is no valid reason ie with another court order. The first one should stand and payments maintained the same.

Just_Want_to_Live_Life

I work in a school and we deal with court orders regards access and parental responsibility, it does not matter what a parent tells us. Until we have legal documentation then nothing is changed. Why is this different for the CSA it seems ridiculous that a department that deal in essentially relationships that have broken down and the conflict and hard feeling just take the word of an individual. The dad has now said he has legal access but the mother is denying it, but that does not count. So is the mums word more important than his ?

Marisco

Just_Want_to_Live_Life wrote: »

I work in a school and we deal with court orders regards access and parental responsibility, it does not matter what a parent tells us. Until we have legal documentation then nothing is changed. Why is this different for the CSA it seems ridiculous that a department that deal in essentially relationships that have broken down and the conflict and hard feeling just take the word of an individual. The dad has now said he has legal access but the mother is denying it, but that does not count. So is the mums word more important than his ?

Or rather, more important than a court of law?????

Why oh why doesn't this country adopt the Australian way i.e if access is denied for no good reason (DV and abuse excepted of course) then the maintenance is reduced or stopped until the ex toes the line? That would concentrate the minds of ex's if they thought they'd lose money!!

If the child themselves don't want contact then they shouldn't be forced of course, but a greedy or bitter ex should not be allowed to just stop contact for no good reason without some sort of comeback on her/him.

PintAndAPie

OP, do not make the mistake of thinking that the CSA are ever interested in being reasonable or fair. Compared to them the stasi seem reasonable and well intentioned.

Just_Want_to_Live_Life

If she is no adhering to a court order surely she can be held in contempt of the court which can result in fines or prison. Although that does not directly solve your issue it may make her inform the CSA of the correct situation.