Once baby came how did your work life change?

jackomdj

I did various things.

After DD1 I went back PT 2 1/2days with her in crèche.
After DD2 I went back to 2 longer days (just dropped 2h) both of them in crèche, so it worked out cheaper than paying for extra 1/2 day.
When DD1 started school I changed to 3 shorter days.
Now I am up to 4 days, they go to breakfast club on a Mon, and 2h after school club Tues and Wed. School holidays I take 4weeks off, my parents look after them for one week, then the rest they go to holiday club which OH drops them off at so I can get to work very early and build up the time for me to have zither Thurs each week off.

Eta - child care falls to me for holidays as OH is a contractor so no work means no pay.

unlucky67

With my first I went back to work part time at 3 months, full time at 5 months, continued full time up to her going to school when childcare became more difficult and I felt guilty about having to keep letting my employer down when she was sick etc. (My partner had his own business and worked from 9am to midnight 6 days a week so we couldn't share the responsibility). I then had my second and was a SAHM which in lots of ways was easier . She is now at school too and I am looking for a job. But I've been out of my field so long I am more or less unemployable. I now think going back part-time is the best solution ...you keep up to date and you (hopefully) don't have to explain a career break (which in my case is more or less is hanging a sign around my neck saying I have children and therefore other responsibilities and if they are ill I will have to take time off - if you want someone who won't employ someone else!)

bagpussbear

I went back part time - 3 days a week Mon, Tues and Weds. Would have loved to have stayed at home full time, but finances wouldn't allow it.

Eventually went back full time when my son was about 3.

Janepig

I went back to work three full days a week after DD was born, which I stayed with until DS started school (luckily they both started full time, none of the part time, afternoons/mornings nonsense!). Once he started school I changed to five days a week of school hours, so I drop them off for breakfast club at 7.45am (before they're wise!) and I'm there to pick them up at 3.15pm.

Holidays are covered by me and DH spreading out our leave entitlement over the days the kids are off, which unfortunately means we don't get much time off together. They also spend odd days in sports camps over the holidays too, mainly because they enjoy it rather than out of desperate need.

I went back to work mainly because I got the job I do on experience rather than qualifications, and with even our receptionists having degrees these days there wouldn't have been a hope in hell of me being re-employed in a similar capacity after a career break. I also appreciate the adult company, etc.... I'm not hugely paternal :D

Jx

LittleMissH

I went back 5 days when DD was 7m old. I have a demanding job with travel and long hours. I told employer when I had been back 3 months that I couldn't do it anymore. They reigned in my travel, gave me a flexible working arrangement so I now work 4 days a week, longer days but around my daughters needs. It's hard work but I now have 3 days with her and I've learned how to balance my work load better.


I was told we couldn't have children and she came as a massive but very welcome surprise. If we'd have had the opportunity to plan the pregnancy and save properly I would have taken a longer maternity leave (private sector maternity benefits), but the mortgage is too big for one salary!


I went through a period of being quite defensive of my decision to be a working mum, I felt like everyone was judging my decision. Your priorities change definitely but I make absolutely no apologies for being a working mum. She certainly benefits from me being intellectually stimulated by my job. I think I'm a better mum for it.


When I ask my peers - the SAHM's feel judged by the working mums and vice versa. Women need to be kinder to each other!

bellevie

Plan - part time for 1 year then full time.

Nothing went to plan at all!

3 days when dd was 8 months, in a nursery. Through bad luck she got hit really bad with viral after viral, colds, ear infection, chest infections. She appeared so healthy before starting, it was just so unexpected - I mean you expect them to get ill, everyone said the first 6 months are the worst. There just seemed to be no end in sight, the virals were getting closer and closer together in time. - I wasn't being over protective, she got a fever with each minor cold/viral/bug and nursery were strict, fever = no childcare- understandable really but I just didn't expect her to get so many!

Time off was unpaid so after 1 year, I was stressed, penniless and dd was just getting worse I left. It gave dd's body a break and reintroduce her slowly to nursery. I regretted not stopping sooner, the gap between virals/bugs increased right away, they were milder less frequent and eventually became 'normal'. Struggled financially, but I was just so happy to have that time with her, and not live with the guilt that Im constantly phoning in sick, or the guilt that Ive sent her back to nursery too fast to make up my hours etc.

2 years later she was well enough doing fine at nursery, so again part time this time hours(20-25) scattered over 5 days.

Worked well childcare wise until she started school - trouble covering Christmas holidays - couldn't get time off, random inset days in the middle of the month, early finishes, parent assemblies, fundraising events - all only in the first term!

I got very very lucky, recently offered a job, working part time from home. Its only very early days, but the day I signed that contract I felt the weight lift of my shoulders, for now no more childcare! Not as many hours as Id like, but for now it works for us.

Would like to be full time in the next 2-3 years, subject to childcare, but I know now no concrete plans because something always changes!

Spendless

I wasn't able to go part-time when I had eldest, my employer at the time only had f-time workers and the right to request more flexible working patterns didn't exist back then (14 years ago). The f-time childcare bill was equivalent to my wages, so there was no financial difference into the household if I returned to my job, just baby in childcare f-time, so I packed in. Several months later I found a part-time evening/weekend job that could be done when husband was home to do the childcare instead.

Icey77

DH works shifts with variable start and finish times and overtime that can just run and run leading to 16hr shifts. His shiftsp start times can change for the next day and can start as early as 4am and he also works nights.

We decided that this is simply incompatible with trying to maintain a routine for a baby or young child so I became a SAHM once my maternity leave finished. I miss my job immensely at times and I look forward hugely to the two mornings a week that DD is in nursery as I can get some bookkeeping work done for a friend. She started nursery at 18 months as we wanted to make sure she developed some social skills.

This is way below the level of work I was doing previously but it keeps my mental capacity ticking over and I get the odd bit of adult conversation.

Interested DH has recently admitted he feels that despite the shifts etc he has the easier deal!

There are times when I feel like a single parent and I never see DH but it must be going ok as #2 is due in April.

Spendless

onlyroz wrote: »

And I second the comment about child care being more difficult for school age children. Things have been made much easier now the school has started running an after school club - but I've no idea what we'll do when our eldest reaches secondary age because there is no after school provision but I don't yet think an 11-year-old is old enough to be left alone for three hours...

The same situation where I live, though childcare for the Primary school years is very much dependant on which school your child attends - plenty where my youngest goes, barely any at the next nearest school 10 mins walk away, it practically all vanishes when child goes to yr 7.


No after school provision and no holiday care unless you are able to pick up at 3.30 at the Sports clubs that take older children. In addition Secondary schools often close earlier than Primary schools, after school clubs like homework or sports clubs aren't always an answer if it then creates an issue getting home because the school dedicated bus service doesn't run at a later time and there's no public transport and the walking/cycling route isn't viable.


It was for this reason we 'built up' what the kids were allowed to do from eldest being at end of yr 4 and in yr 5 for daughter who is more immature than her older brother. We started with allowing them to go to the shops alone amd walking to school with friends and then leaving them if we needed to pop to local shops.

How old is your eldest? It can be difficult to 'project' how your child will be a few years into the future. I found my son grew up a lot though not long after his 11th birthday.

Okydoky25

I timed my 1st pregnancy knowing I would get offered redundancy while on Mat leave so I accepted this and am now a SAHM while DH works. We have had to move to make it work financially but that's worked out well and we have 2 children now.