What exactly has changed????????

roseycozy

Poppy,

I certainly don't think you are a bad mother, so apologies if I came accross that way at all. It seems obvious to me that you are doing what you feel is best for your child. :j

I just wanted you to know why the guidelines are in place before you make your decision, so that it is an informed decision.

I also did not mean to imply that all baby food in jars is bad, just that some packaged baby snacks are not all that healthy yet people don't critisise their use. I certainly don't have any issues with purees, homemade or otherwise, i just haven't had the need to use them. I do give my DD healthy 'crisps' though, so shoot me. She loves them, they contain only organic corn and carrot, and tbh I think the odd treat is good for us all in moderation. Everything else she eats is homecooked appart from rice cakes which again contain no nasties.

It's a shame you had such problems breast feeding. We all know that 'breast is best' but sometimes that is just not possible, and you should be giving yourself a pat on the back for trying if nothing else. Yes, it's possible that you may have managed a way round it with enough support (pun not intended), but you didn't get it so that's irrelevant.

My personal opinion is that you should try and wait a little longer for the solids, but that is all it is, my opinion. As Justie suggested, maybe try the hungrier baby formula if you haven't already. But hey, they are your kids so you do what you think is right - I certainly won't be swayed from my BLW no matter what anyone says so I kinda get how you feel.

hev_2

Isaacsmum - I found your post very upsetting. I really tried hard to breastfeed, the midwives in the hospital could not believe how long I kept trying. It is not about lack of effort. Trying to figure out how to best feed my lovely DS is causing me huge amounts of stress, but I am not giving in trying to do what is best to for him.

I try and see the lighter side of all this mother business. As soon as you become pregnant, the pressure is on and you are a Bad Mother. Did you have a glass of wine - Shame on You! (actually I didn't drink, but I'm not much of a drinker anyway). Did you have nuts - Shame on You! (Once found a flaked almond in a slice of cheesecake and panicked) Caffeine - Shame on You! (Signature says it all, though I really cut back on the dreaded diet coke while carrying DS) There is always another article around that says that you are harming your unborn child. And once the darling is born, it really starts...

If you love your child to bits, as most mothers do, then you will do what you can to make your child's life as good as possible. Sometimes, through circumstances, that is not perfect, but I would rather not judge as no-one can know how much a mother may be struggling, suffering from PND, have awful family circumstances, etc. Not condoning randomly giving junk food or sweeties, but most mothers do their best.

For what it is worth, that is my opinion.

Hev

heather38

hev, you've just summed it up for me. if you give your baby anything other than home made, organic, gm free, fairtrade, eco food then you are seen as a bad mother.
you can only do what's best for your child and no more. i weaned DD at 22 weeks as she was sooo hungry, she only has hm food, but gets the odd snack every now and then, she likes rusks but only coz my mother bought them grrrrr.
i'm weaning her at her own pace and i don't care what anyone else says, she's my baby. she's 8 months old and still having puree with small lumps, she eats finger food ok, but not so keen on lumpy food. oh and she wont eat meat either.

BernadetteN

poppyscorner wrote: »

1. I do not breast feed Why? well it certainly is not because I cannot be bothered I have tried to B/f both of my kids and my experience of it is this my breasts are very large 36H to be exact when breast feeding both of the kids have struggled to breathe I asked for support I was told this shouldn't happen and the response was the midwife made me go upstairs into my bedroom remove my clothing then proceeded to grab my very sore breasts and shove them in my babys faces after a few weeks of this both times I felt like a complete failure and I gave up am I a bad mother because of this because that is certainly how I feel I am portrayed.

For all those mums with big breasts like me (and even little breasts unlike me), a good technique is to lie backwards and then lie the baby on top of you on your chest. Alternatively, lie on your side. Both ways are great for big breasts as your baby's face does not get lost and suffocated by all those milk ducts! I saw this "lie back" technique on the news recently and it was reported that breastfeeding rates were increasing in whatever hospital it was being practised on new mums. I myself find it very hard to breastfeed in the "sit up" position where the baby lies sideways which is the way you see in many books - big boobs just don't stay put that way.

Fivenations

Babies are not all alike - some develop/get hungrier quicker than others and this should be taken into account. I breastfed my eldest but was advised to give him rice at around 12 weeks as he was feeding every two hour, with each feed taking around an hour. Poor might was starving. I tried adding formula but it made no difference. Youngest - I could not breastfeed as I had a serious infection and medsication would have harmed him. He lasted until 4 months until I had to give in, again with advice from HV. I still kept up the milk with both - just topped up with a little solid. He is now healthy, slim, no allergies or food fads. They both had mild eczema before being weaned but this improved when they were fed solids! Must have been the raw olive oil I added to their food.

I see that there are special milks for hungrier babies - possibly a fad but it may help for a few weeks. MY OH was given carnation milk at 8 weeks back in 1959 as he was not satisified by formula! He was a 12lb baby! Ouch!

roseycozy

Yes, Hev is right, we're probably all 'bad parents' for some reason or other. I know I am cos I co-sleep, but that's a whole other issue. We all just try to do what we feel is best for the little monkeys.

poppyscorner

BernadetteN Thanks for that info I wish you had been my M/W she told me I had to sit up but had never thought of doing it like that worth bearing in mind for the next time for me but also excellent advice for anybody like me searching now for B/F tips.

BernadetteN

poppyscorner wrote: »

BernadetteN Thanks for that info I wish you had been my M/W she told me I had to sit up but had never thought of doing it like that worth bearing in mind for the next time for me but also excellent advice for anybody like me searching now for B/F tips.

Just managed to find a website linked to the midwife who is pioneering new thinking on breastfeeding positions around our area.

http://www.biologicalnurturing.com/Pages/training.html

black-saturn

Go with your own instincts and wean him now. You don't have to tell the health visitor about it if you don't want to. What you do with your own baby is none of her business.

I weaned both of mine at 12 weeks and they are now aged 12 and 10 years and never had any ill effects from it. I also put them both on ordinary full fat cows milk from 6 months and they were both OK.

fsdss

i have to agree with black saturn and do whats best for all of you - go with your instincts. at the end of the day its your choice.

your not a bad mum at all, as you show that you care and ask for advice so, chill out over it, go with the flow and all will work out whatever path you take.