what comes first?

atush

We derive no income from any of them - France is a renovation, OH's eldest son lives in his, and we live in mine.

Well here is where to start. I know you want a holiday home, but you can't really afford one can you? Not w/o savings or pension. There are wants and needs and you may want the home in france, but you don't need it- you need to have an income in old age. If you must not part with it, then get it rentable ASAP. And rent it out to other holiday makers.

Second, the son living in the house is a non starter. He must start paying something approaching market rent, or give him 3 months to find a place of his own. Then rent it out or sell it. If the house is large enough, why not let him take in a lodger to help him pay rent? He earns doesn't he?

Then the apprentice, I would at least ask for some of his earnings towards the food bill. I charge my eldest 55 a week to live at home, and I know that doesn't cover everything. But he should at least offer to help cover his costs.

Your OH pay be pensions averse, but why? Does his employer offer a pension? How much gets paid in by the employer? Does he understand this is 'free money' he is flushing down the pan? If there is a pension, get him to join it. If he refuses, then you have a long term problem with him, but open a PP or S&S isa in his name. I am sure you can get him to sign the forms.

I think helping your kids out is great (and I am doing so x3 by funding their Uni studies so they don't have loans and will hopefully be able to help them further along the road). But no one earning doesn't have to contribute- period. Those who dont earn are expected to work around the house and garden.

Seanymph

Thank you both.

The house has increased in value since we bought it - OH did a LOT of research and we bought in an expanding area. Getting rid of it is a no go unfortunately, we work on the not having holidays anywhere else basis.


As for his son, I guess a lot of it is guilt - he moved counties to be with me, his eldest didn't want to move so stayed in the family home.


(OH and I are both second marriages - and only together for 2.5 years).


The Prentice does pay rent.


OH will not consider a pension, not even his employers one - but he will sign anything else I put in front of him So ISA/savings would be fine.


It's the deciding where to focus that I'm finding so specially difficult.


I've bought a couple of the recommended books on here and am working my way through them. I'm always fine for the first three chapters, then they start getting more complicated.

atush

Great you are reading up- any chance of getting the OH to do so?

Any chance of writing to HR at his work and asking to join the pension (if the employer pays in) and having him sign once they have come and YOU have filled them out lol? Does he really not understand if his employer pays in say 5%, he is throwing away 5% of his salary? And if he in in a public service job, he is certifiable

Anyway, your pension is good so carry on, get a S&S or two open, and put the eldest son on notice to start paying rent or you will be selling. Guilt only goes so far, and he has had long enough relying on yours.