divorce agreement help?

miaoww

dont know if this is the right forum?
Long story short - basically been married for 13 yrs and relationship ended in july this year - hubby moved out and im in the house with the two kids (7&11yrs) have taken on the mortgage and secured loan debt - he gives me £50 maintenance a week for the two kids.
Mortage left on house £77,771.71
secured loan £57,240.31
House valu £108-£120 so property in negative equity

Need to sort out a fair agreement between us somehow

Since few month prior to split hubby was unemployed and my parents helped towards some secured loan / mortgage payment and general day to day living expensed - petrol / food. Since he moved out in july i have taken on all the mortgage and secured loan and household bills to allow him to move on and be debt free.
We had ppi reclaim on the secure loan which brought the balance down a bit but left £12,000 - £6000 went to my official reciever from previous bankruptsy and the other £6000 went straight in to hubbys pocket which he used some of it to clear credit cards and the rest on trying to buy me back and few nice days out and gifts for the kids - this wasnt disclosed to myself he just took it - no discussion as to maybe paying my parent back some of what they helped us out with or anything and he got upset when i found out about because the figures didnt add up (anyway by the by - its gone now anyway)
I undersatnd that no point selling house and loosing roof and uprooting kids and plan to stay here but how can we work out how to split things fairly with out costly solicitors - im happy to carry on paying stuff and maybe selling when youngest is 18 but also considering he had pretty much all of the £6000 and wont be contributing as such to mortage and secured loan for the following 11yrs then how do work out a fair split as i feel he is obviously due something but i aint paying it all and ending up worse off myself - doubt will be able to apply for single morgage due to previous bankrupty.
any help / advise appreciated
thanks

Dunroamin

Why on earth have you taken on the mortgage and secured loan on your own, so that he can be debt free?

fluffnutter

Six grand in his pocket, no debts and a measly £200 a month to his kids. Bet he's got a smile on his face.

swingaloo

You really need to get some proper legal advice. What you are doing and proposing to do yourself is littered with problems.

Why are you taking on the mortgage and debt?

When your youngest turns 18 and you sell how are you going to recoup your payments from the house sale?

What if there is still negative equity when you sell?

What if you can no longer afford the payments and they start repossession?

Have you got cover on the payments if you are sick or unable to work?

Why are you allowing him to be debt free when he will have a claim on the house when you sell it?

Is he paying you the correct amount of maintenance for the children?

What about the debt to your parents?

What if you or he meet someone else as the dynamics will certainly change when you do.

You need to get everything agreed via a solicitor to safeguard you and your children's future. You already know your husband is not trustworthy so why take the risk. He may say he is happy to walk away debt free and leave the house to you whilst you are making all the payments but when he's up to his eyes again in debt he will probably want to reclaim his share of the house.

Please be very careful, you need expert advice not someone on here telling you what they consider a fair split.

DigForVictory

Please - have a chat with a family lawyer. There is too much to sort both now and to cover all possibilities in the future.
Fair should not be a cop out but a negotiated truce.

miaoww

thanks guys- reality check much needed
Im happy to take it all on as it was joint debt (even though most of it was furniture and baby things and home improvements) but i just wanna be on my own and have security for the kids - im no better off by selling if finances werent in such a state then i would of sold no problem or tried to part ex this house for a new one. It needs sorting though but was hoping for some help that wouldnt cost me more or get me in more debt but looks like i may have to to ensure secure future. I earn to much to qualify for legal aid. I was hoping that we could agree something and do it via online and it'd only be about £500-600 split between us then.
Just want it sorted quickly and smoothly as possible but these things take time.

swingaloo

I know its hard but please for your sake do it properly. My sister divorced and he promised all kinds of things 'for the security of the children'.

Now fast forward 8 years he has 3 more children by 2 other women, is married again and living abroad. If it was not for the court order she secured while he was what he called 'trying to be fair and make it easy for her' he would gladly put her and his children out on the street.

People tend to agree to allsorts whilst the element of guilt is new but a few years down the line they are not the person you knew.
You don't want to be taking on all this debt and paying off the mortgage for him to come back in 8-10 years and demand 50/50.

DigForVictory

In this case, fast usually means incompetent &/or incompletely done.
Worth enduring, worth hard words & thoughts (away from children if possible), to ensure fair is exactly that & children shielded in so far as law allows.

miaoww

Thanks swigaloo - thats what im worried about if i take all the debt on and house isnt worth anything at the moment as in negative equity- like you said whats to say once its all paid he dont insit on half - hes already paranoid and unpredictable thats why i want things sorted so he no longer has any control of me and my life and hes just around for the kids.

Vicky123

How long have the pair of you had the mortgage?
Is he unemployed now? I'm guessing not, if he's giving regular money for the children. Where is he living?
How will you get his name off the mortgage?
My understanding is his housing needs and earning capacity are all taken into consideration by the courts when it comes to division of property, naturally children's needs are the first thing to settle, in this situation it would seem a clean break wont be possible due to the finances.
It's really hard but divorce often leaves people so much worse off financially, no winners.
I think you are going to need proper legal advice as these amicable agreements have a habit of not being so amicable in the long run.

I_try

You must sort this properly. There is a lot that you can do yourselves such as filling out the various forms and handing them to the court, but make sure that the financial stuff is checked out by a suitable solicitor. As part of the consent order a clean break order can come into effect when the youngest child reaches a certain age which I think is 18.
The consent order once agreed and stamped by the court will make all the financial split and commitments legally binding and will make it very difficult for either party to renegade on the agreement and prevent them coming back for more at a later date such as selling the house 10 years later!!


IMO it is essential to make the financial side of things legally binding at the time of divorce rather than leaving it to trust. I am so glad I did as it was only 6 months after the court stamped it that he started to try to pull out of paying towards his contributions to his half of his responsibilities which would of left me in the financial sh*t, so was worth it's weight in gold.


Have a good look around the wikivorce website and speak to a solicitor. Taking the house on in negative equity, and the debt, just to be rid of him quickly will bite you in the backside while he walks away laughing.


Take care of yourself.