Elite christmas special

Sunshinemummy

Happy new year everyone, lets hope 2014 is a great year for everyone.

Love everyone and do no harm xxx

:D:D:D:D:D:D

kadison

princessmelody2009 wrote: »

Anywho, the moo and I strolled into town and boy it's miserable out there. DD likes to talk and bless her, we may have the same conversation 5,6,7 times a day but I digress. There she was, singing Jingle Bells at the top of her little lungs and the looks we got were unreal :eek: Now, I know the festive season has passed but she's 3 and confused because we are on 'Xmas Holidays' so as far as she's concerned, it's xmas til she goes back to preschool. I found it so disheartening, she might as well have been screaming profanities!

The 12 days of Christmas end on 6th Jan so she can feel free to sing xmas songs until then, hth

Snap-ant wrote: »

A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen
mask over his mouth and nose. A young student nurse appears and
gives him a partial sponge bath.

"Nurse,"' he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?"

Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only
here to wash your upper body and feet."

He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please check for me. Are my
testicles black?"

Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate
from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment
and pulls back the covers.
She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles
gently in the other.

She looks very closely and says, "There's nothing wrong with them,
Sir. They look fine."

The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says
very slowly, "Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen
very, very closely:

Are - my - test - results - back?"

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Snap-ant wrote: »

Oh wow!

tweets wrote: »

This a pic of the bracelet my aunty left me in her will.
Mum gave it me on Christmas Day but I put it back in its box after looking at it because I got upset and only today felt strong enough to take pic without getting upset again and share with my Elite friends :A.
It wont fit my wrist but my aunty only had a small wrist so her daughter is going to look for the extra links and I will get them fixed back onto the bracelet if they get found and wear it.

That's gorgeous! Now, no 'saving it for best', wear it whenever the mood takes you xx

fairclaire

Sunshinemummy wrote: »

I bet you scared the living day lights out of him, poor lad!

:D:D:D:D:D:D

Possibly but he's been made to feel very welcome and if nothing else, he knows what sharing is all about now :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

logie

Thank you itsasecret66 and Tinyshoes :A

DH has been asleep since 10 past midnight and I'm struggling to stay awake now too so going to hit the sack.
I'll see you in the morning for the 2014 glitches :beer:

TrulyMadly

Just got to love the Proclaimers:)

Sunshinemummy

fairclaire wrote: »

Possibly but he's been made to feel very welcome and if nothing else, he knows what sharing is all about now :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Pleased you taught him the value of true families!
x

lookinforabargain

fairclaire wrote: »

Ok...embarrassing cake story.

I bought a FANTASTIC chocolate cake on Xmas Eve! whoopsied to £1 :j:j:j it really was an indulgent beast of a cake. My kids absolutely love chocolate cake

On boxing night I asked the kids (and my guest) if they wanted a piece and was met with lots of yes pleases. So OH cut 4 big chunks (I don't use knives :rotfl:) I was sorting hot drinks for them all. Someone informed us that DS1 didn't want any cake.......this is where it all went wrong I was in the utility getting milk for the drinks and OH put the unwanted slice of cake back in the box (I didn't know this)

After I thought all the wanted pieces of cake had been claimed...and gone. There was a piece left on the work top.....the spare piece, I thought. I was alone in the kitchen....so I licked it and stuck my fingers in it....and licked them and licked it again

My OH wandered in and looked at me like I had 2 heads and did that nudgey obvious look that means.....'behind you' he had just told our guest that his cake was on the work top and the poor lad had came looking for his cake and was stood there looking very uncomfortable whilst I licked it to death :o:o :rotfl::rotfl:

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl: I bloomin' you!!

zippydooda

good night all :beer:

fairclaire

TrulyMadly wrote: »

Just got to love the Proclaimers:)

I would never have put you listening to that tonight TM.....but they are good

Mildred1970

logie wrote: »

Thank you itsasecret66 and Tinyshoes :A

DH has been asleep since 10 past midnight and I'm struggling to stay awake now too so going to hit the sack.
I'll see you in the morning for the 2014 glitches :beer:

Night Logie

Night everyone in fact :wave:

Love you all :kisses3: