age gap between kids - how close is too close?

haras_nosirrah

Just want to canvas some opinions

One of my facebook 'friends' has posted her 12 week scan announcing baby number 2. All lovely and lots of congratulations etc

Her first baby was born in April so that means there will be an age gap of 14 months if baby arrives on time

I have a nearly 14 month old and I can't imagine how I would cope with a newborn as well. I turned my back for a couple of minutes this morning and he got hold of the advent calender and was eating the paper windows. He is also not walking properly yet and has started getting towards the tantrum phase

What about breast feeding? - that can take ages and what would you do with the other child in the meantime?

Just wondering how close in age people would consider to be too close. Myself and hubby are planning on trying for number 2 from sept so there would be 3 years between if we fell immediately

Not going to say anything to mum other than congratulations - just curious on others opinions and if you have a close age between kids how you coped?

globalds

Twins ??

they are usually born pretty close together

haras_nosirrah

true but then they are not usually going through different developmental stages. I find my toddler much more demanding now than when he was new born

Comyface

We had a similar conversation in work recently and came to the conclusion 'each to his own' really. I don't have any children, but my colleagues who do were saying similar to you, that they have no idea how people cope with 2 under 3 etc.
But we remember that when we were in school, lots of people had siblings in the year above/below so it was obviously a lot more popular back in the day.

Ladyshopper

Each to their own!

My two have an age gap of 11.5 months, and were planned (although I didn't expect to fall pregnant quite so quickly!).

I was lucky as my DS was walking well by the time DD was born, so made things a lot easier. He also slept through the night by 10 weeks, so again, made life easier.

I found it pretty tiring until DD slept through the night (again, by 10 weeks) but after that it was fine to be honest. Just have to be very organised!

I became a single Mum when mine were 2.5 and 3.5, and have been single ever since. Don't think I've done a bad job, as both lovely kids.

I would definitely say having a small age gap worked for me, my two adored each other growing up, and even now, although they pretend bicker etc still get on very well.

pollyanna24

I would count anything as


2 years or less - a small gap
3 years - an average gap
4 years or more - a large gap


There are two years between my girls and my ex left me when the youngest was 2 months old. I would never ever do the first two years of my youngest's life again. But this is likely in part due to the fact I was getting over a broken heart.


Now my kids are 5 and 3, and they fight (a lot!), but at least they are into the same things (they are both girls) and at least I got my baby years out of the way at relatively the same time.


I'm sure it's easier if there are two people in a relationship, and I coped, albeit not very well sometimes, but now that they are older, it is getting easier.

peachyprice

haras_nosirrah wrote: »

true but then they are not usually going through different developmental stages. I find my toddler much more demanding now than when he was new born

I imagine having two of him then! Most people just get on with it and are happy with their lot.

midnightraven3

we wanted ours close in age
so we had a 3 year old, a 16 month old and a new born
worked very well for us
and i breastfed

the plus sides for us (now, looking back)
we had all the nappies, sleepless nights etc all over at the same time
we had 3 children who all pretty much liked the same things on days out as they were all around the same age
and while at primary school, the school run was easy

the only downside was out of school activities
tuesday evenings we were 2 people supposed to be in 3 places at once:rotfl:

if i had to make the choice again?
i wouldnt change a thing

catkins

I don't have children but I always said if I did have any I would not have them close together.


I have 2 siblings, one is only 16th months younger than me and the other is 6 years younger.


Me and the one closest to me in age fought all the time when we were growing up. Even now as adults we are not particularly close and don't see much of each other. The youngest one I have always got on well with and we see each other at least once a week now

tizerbelle

There's only 354 days between me and my younger brother.

Mum still gets confused (after more than 4 decades) and thinks he is 11 days older than me as his birthday appears earlier in the calendar than mine so I think we can safely say having a small age gap sent her loopy

Seanymph

Mine are 15 months apart, and it's brilliant.

They were both at preschool together, then one was next door at primary - they were one class apart, in fact in one year they were in the same class!

they had the same swimming lessons, same holidays (PGL), same tutors........

It made it easier going to mcdonalds farms and then theme parks and not trying to do both.

yes, it was hard - but it was awesome too - now they are both at university.

They are so close - I wouldn't change it for the world.