feel bullied by work on sick

cheeseystrings

Hey guys just need a bit of advice.

Ok, so a friend/collegue died on sunday (24/11) He had done some work at my house and had told me he was lonely etc I blamed my self , worried that he may have committed suicide and i possibly could have done something to talk him out of it, i was getting very upset, and stressed out. I drive for a living and have to make sure i have my mind on my job. On the day i found out about his death i had a small crash, which i believe was down to the stress i was feeling. the following day a trainer was asking me questions about what the dead colleague had discussed with me and kept saying, i was in big trouble and whats wrong with you and was laughing in my face. Also other drivers were making inappropriate comments about his death. For example calling me a murderer, saying i had worked him to death and such like comments, which did little for my stress levels and the guilt i was already feeling.

This has resulted in me making my self rather ill through stress so i phoned in sick on Sunday for the Monday, as i didnt feel safe driving. They then called me in to work today to discuss things after i had seen my doctor. I feel they are trying to push me back to work, saying things like "you will be better at work than at home". Also i had made a list of issues and feelings i was having, including the trainers actions, being sick, dizzy etc, The manager looked at this list and he just was crossing them out like it was nothing and making me feel like i was over reacting. He also asked me to come back to work Thursday, and if i don't come back soon implied things could get serious, as they will have to get occupational health involved. Today i found out that he had died of natural causes, which the manager pointed out, implying that all should be fine now. Unfortunately i still feel stressed and upset and actually now feel pressured by work to return. He made me feel like he and the company didn't care and that my feelings were irrelevant.

Are they in the wrong? Should i be expected back? Can they take it further if i have a week off down to stress, just because they think i should be fine?

They also have told me i wont get sacked over this crash, i am now worried if i don't go back soon they may change their mind just to get rid of me. As it hasent officially been dealt with yet.

Thanks in advance for any advice on this issue.

Tiddlywinks

A referral to Occupational Health is not a bad thing - your post suggests that you see your manager's offer of referral as a threat.

You are either well enough to work or you aren't - if you feel you can't work then you need to work with your employer to help them understand the issues and what they can do to support your return.

Have you seen your GP?

cheeseystrings

Yes i went today, he said have this week off and then if i still feel bad go back next week and i will be referred or put me on anti depressants.

And it came across as he was trying to threaten, however i told him i was willing to see oc health no problem. But after two days is it fair to be talking about referring me already?

Morlock

cheeseystrings wrote: »

Yes i went today, he said have this week off and then if i still feel bad go back next week and i will be referred or put me on anti depressants.

It is not up to your manager to diagnose you and 'put you on anti-depressants', nor can you be forced to take anti-depressants against your will without a court order. It's very irresponsible and unreasonable of him to be suggesting otherwise.

j1992

Morlock wrote: »

It is not up to your manager to diagnose you and 'put you on anti-depressants', nor can you be forced to take anti-depressants against your will without a court order. It's very irresponsible and unreasonable of him to be suggesting otherwise.

They mean the doctor said those things, not their manager.

x

jacques_chirac

OH are usually very helpful, and may be able to refer you for counselling long before it is available on the NHS.

With regard to your friend, although it now transpires it was not suicide it is still important to note that the chances are you could not have done anything anyway. When people really want to die, as opposed to taking extreme action as a cry for help, they do so because they feel there is nothing left for them in this world, nothing (and no one) can make you feel better - I have been there many times.

Without meaning to sound fickle, it sounds like you need a good holiday, not to be sat at home going over what has happened. A week or two in the sun can do a lot of good when you are in the first stages of mental illness, and can speed up your recovery no end.

cheeseystrings

Morlock wrote: »

It is not up to your manager to diagnose you and 'put you on anti-depressants', nor can you be forced to take anti-depressants against your will without a court order. It's very irresponsible and unreasonable of him to be suggesting otherwise.

Oh yes sorry first is the GP, second part is what manager said

Tiddlywinks

So, what was the diagnosis? Has he given you a fit note to give to your line manager to show what you can and cannot do?

Did I read that you are a driver? The company - and your GP - has a responsibility to ensure you are safe to carry out your duties: for your sake and for public safety.

I think you should engage with Occ Health as soon as possible.

fruitedeli

Taxi driver? I wouldn't recommend going back to work when you're emotionally wrecked. Last thing you want is killing someone by accident, yourself, or crashing and losing some limbs. Don't take any chance.

Morlock

cheeseystrings wrote: »

Oh yes sorry first is the GP, second part is what manager said

I realise that now, I should drink my coffee first after waking up before replying.

cheeseystrings

Tiddlywinks wrote: »

So, what was the diagnosis? Has he given you a fit note to give to your line manager to show what you can and cannot do?

Did I read that you are a driver? The company - and your GP - has a responsibility to ensure you are safe to carry out your duties: for your sake and for public safety.

I think you should engage with Occ Health as soon as possible.

The diagnosis was that i was stressed and that i just needed time, he said to self cert for this week, then if i am still feeling the same, go back for him to decide the next step. And yes i am a driver, in something much bigger than a taxi. And yes i have the same view as you and i am concerned about causing an accident.