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Sisters bday party

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hello

My sister has a big birthday later this month and my mum has decided to have a party for her. Its mainly about my Mum; perfect opportunity to make the point of how great a mother she is / opportunity for gifts etc and as such she has distributed "jobs" out to the people who she wants to notice her good grace. I've been mainly excluded in discussing even the date and much less the things to happen on the evening etc. My sister isn't particularly fussed so Mum has booked a potato pie supper and allowed / asked an unrelated person to make a cake as a gift to my sister.

I ran the idea of buying a fancy cake (3D / handbag / large cupcake or scene she would like) for the party past my Mum, prior to finding out that the cake had already been sorted and she has said maybe the one I buy could be just for family and / or we could display a second cake too.

However, I feel that I don't want to unsurp this other lady's position (she doesn't realise the situation and is basically just being a nice person) by arriving with a fancy adorned cake when she is offering a homemade, but probably far less professional one looking one which will have taken time and a lot of effort.

I've said that there isn't much point paying £50-75 for a fancy cake for either no-one to see it and if we did display it then I can understand the other lady being a little peeved. We could just buy a fairly cheap (but unasthetic one) for us. My Mum has said she won't like cupcakes but would eat cake.

I do want to do something for my sister though but am out of ideas so thought your the benefit of your combined knowledge of what makes a good party would be ideal.

The birthday present I'm thinking of getting her is a day out to AirKix - she is mad keen on adventure type things but rarely gets the opportunity to do them.

Thanks
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Comments

  • Person_one
    Person_one Posts: 28,884 Forumite
    Tenth Anniversary 10,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    Just show up, wish her happy birthday, give her a big hug and have a nice time. Maybe a nice photo montage if you really want to do something special.

    Remember, just as your sister's birthday isn't all about your mum, it isn't all about you either. ;)
  • marisco_2
    marisco_2 Posts: 4,261 Forumite
    top_drawer wrote: »
    My sister isn't particularly fussed

    This says it all. Let the party be all about your mum. Reading between the lines I think she is laying it on to meet her own needs rather than as something special for your sister. Take your sister off at another time and spoil her rotten doing an activity she will love and remember. Let everything else go over your head and don't let it affect you.
    The best day of your life is the one on which you decide your life is your own, no apologies or excuses. No one to lean on, rely on or blame. The gift is yours - it is an amazing journey - and you alone are responsible for the quality of it. This is the day your life really begins.
  • top_drawer_2
    top_drawer_2 Posts: 2,469 Forumite
    Person_one wrote: »
    Just show up, wish her happy birthday, give her a big hug and have a nice time. Maybe a nice photo montage if you really want to do something special.

    Remember, just as your sister's birthday isn't all about your mum, it isn't all about you either. ;)

    My ranting about it may seem to deflect attention. However, I would like her to have something at her party that she would particularly like IYSWIM.
  • Person_one
    Person_one Posts: 28,884 Forumite
    Tenth Anniversary 10,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    top_drawer wrote: »
    My ranting about it may seem to deflect attention. However, I would like her to have something at her party that she would particularly like IYSWIM.

    Then think about what she likes! She's your sister, you know her we don't!

    It sounds like you've chosen a thoughtful present.
  • duchy
    duchy Posts: 19,511 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Combo Breaker Xmas Saver!
    So buy her a nice present -it's what people do for birthdays.
    If on the other hand being seen to make a grand gesture in front of other people is the whole point then that's another matter.

    I honestly don't see where your Mum and what she has done and how comes into what present you buy.
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  • theoretica
    theoretica Posts: 12,690 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    If you want to add something to the party is there anything your sister would like that your mum won't have thought of? Party poppers?
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  • why not do a slide show of photos of your sister at various ages?
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  • top_drawer_2
    top_drawer_2 Posts: 2,469 Forumite
    duchy wrote: »
    So buy her a nice present -it's what people do for birthdays.
    If on the other hand being seen to make a grand gesture in front of other people is the whole point then that's another matter.



    The present and the party are separate entirely, I only mentioned it because I wanted you to have some idea of the type of person we are thinking of.

    I haven't attended many parties and none that are anything beyond the standard of the small town I live in. I was hoping for IDEAS of things other people have done / had.

    She would have LOVED a cake in the shape of a glitterly handbag or a makeup counter - its just something that would be so personal to her. However .... that seems fraught with problems so not to be.
  • Person_one
    Person_one Posts: 28,884 Forumite
    Tenth Anniversary 10,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    So she loves adventure type things, glittery handbags and makeup?

    You're not making it easy here!
  • If you get more cake, then she could end up putting on too much weight to be able to do the adventurey stuff she actually likes....


    Don't waste the money on show when it could be put to better use - and you might be surprised by the other woman's cake, anyhow. My mother made my brother's wedding cake and you genuinely couldn't tell the difference between hers and a professionally made one. Except it cost about a tenth of the price.
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