"The best way to get something done is to begin"

Non_compos_mentis

Thanks LAM. I know there are a lot of people lurking and reading.

I know what you mean about things getting easier if you persevere, I can only already feel the benefits one month into the journey. I just need to remember/keep reminding myself that there will be really good months (like the month I have just had) but equally there will be really !!!!!! months but it all evens out and perseverance pays.

I try not to have any regrets in life. I am currently making a few temporary sacrifices (by postponing what I would like to do) in order to secure my future. This time next year I should be in a lot better position and then I can go about doing things that I really want to do.

I have decided not to go out, I am staying in and going to make the most of my reflective/contemplative mood that I currently am in.

Domayne

-rolls around-
How was your NYE of reflecting and contemplating NCM? xD
I think I should have done the same as now I'm rather broke til next friday

Non_compos_mentis

Hi Domayne,

Reflecting and contemplating was good, really good. Nothing like a good pizza and a really, really good triple chocolate brownie cheesecake to help the contemplation but that meant I lost a lot of the good pounds (£) and gained a lot of bad pounds (lbs). The reflection and scoffing down the high fat food made me realise how much needs to be done in the New Year.

I have not had the best of starts to 2014 because 1) my professional subscriptions have increased by 5%!!! 2) I have currently got £11k of debt over 2 cards, both at 6.9% LOB (my only interest bearing debts). I have been eyeing the super long 0% offers from Barclaycard and MBNA but it is simply not forthcoming!! I am still only being offered 6.9% LOB which I don't need. If I do get the 0% offers then than that is a saving of c£450 in interest costs!!! Come one Barclaycard, come on MBNA! (rant over)

NCM

Domayne

:rotfl:
Well it was the last day of the year NCM, I hope you enjoyed your pizza and cheesecake without too much guilt!
Sorry you haven't had the best start to the year so far though! What are professional subscriptions? Do you need to have them or can you cancel? How have you been getting on with the debt busting in the last few days NCM? I need to wait til Friday for payday...Always feel like I'm waiting for payday these days!!

Non_compos_mentis

Hi Domayne,

I unfortunately never feel guilty about food! Food and drink is my biggest weakness!

Prof subs are totally necessary for my job, if I cancel them then I lose all my earning potential plus my efforts in terms of exams etc and gaining membership will be wasted.

Debt busting / not spending money is going okayish... 3 weeks to payday. I am exactly the same as you, wishing away days so that I can see the debt totals go down. How has 2014 been for you?

NCM

Domayne

haha I know exactly what you mean - Food is one of my weaknesses as well...and smoking...though I feel guilty when I do both because smoking I think what I'm doing to my bank balance and the food...well my waistline is like 5x where it should be :rotfl:
I don't worry about my health as much as I probably should though...especially now I'm cracking on a bit

Ah that sucks! 5% is quite a big increase all at once as well but if they are a necessary evil then...not much to be done I guess
What is it you do NCM? (If you don't wanna say, that's ok )

So far 2014 has been OK for me - This is the 7th day I haven't smoked, I've been eating 'relatively' healthily - Apart from Sunday when I had a bit of a blowout but I've been walking to and from the station every day when I go to work/come home - which is about 20 minutes each way - Not quite ready for the 30 day shred yet xD
This is my 5th NSD and I have booked my Dr's appointment - So feeling quite productive but at the same time frustrated because I want a cigarette so badly and am sat here wishing my life away...

Have you looked any more into joining the gym/personal trainers/driving etc?

Non_compos_mentis

I am pleased to hear you have been smokefree for a week. I have heard smoking really screws up your health and can be a real drain on the bank account. If you previously spent £7 per day on fags everyday, I would suggest you transfer £7 everyday to the separate account/savings pot everyday then use it to fulfil your dream (e.g. extended break from work, an expensive holiday, new stuff etc). I know a lot of people on here may disagree with me particularly as you have debts but it is really important to give yourself a strong enough incentive to help you stop smoking initially (first 3 to 6 months). Additionally, I understand the NHS offers a lot of free support to help you quit - have you looked into this?

I work in finance (how ironic that I am in debt!?). I think the institute recognises its a necessary evil hence why they feel they can get away with murder.

I will be honest I haven't looked at gyming/driving in any detail - I have spent the last 2 weeks feeling sorry for myself and going through massive swings in emotion, ranging from letting myself waste away to taking total control of my life. I know how totally pathetic it sounds and I really need to get a grip on my life but what the fcuk does "not being in love any more mean"? Yes, I have fcuked up but I am not a fcuking mind reader so how the fcuk was I meant to know it was so much of an issue if she didn't communicate it? Now when I am aware of the issues and am willing to try and fix things then why the fcuk am I not being given an opportunity? All possible solutions that I have suggested have been rejected, does the entire fcuking relationship mean nothing? She does not want to recognise that yes there were issues on both parts but an attempt has not been made to try and resolve the issues before calling it a day then she has the audacity to tell me that I should deal with things in a mature fashion. Since when has ending the relationship without trying to resolve it become a mature approach? Sorry it is the first time I am feeling this angry/disappointed/upset about this because I feel I am trying everything to save the relationship whilst she is totally adamant that its over.

NCM

The_Green_Lady

Just found your diary and it's an interesting and honest read, thanks for sharing. I'm sorry about the end of your r/s with g/f. I'm not surprised the anger is here, it was inevitable. You're going through the stages of grief, it's inevitable. Roll with it ok. You'll need to mope and be angry and feel hate and pretend it doesn't matter. Try not to wallow, fight to get through it but understand you're just a guy so be easy on yourself. And always have a plan. Work out what it is you want and work out how to get it. If it doesn't work out at least you tried. If it does, never tell anyone there was a plan! (I'm the latter…)
Great work on your debt busting, good to have something to focus on. Look forward to keeping in touch. Sorry, it's my turn to waffle now x

Non_compos_mentis

TGL,

Thank you for stopping by and reading my rants and waffles.

I will certainly be rolling with it but I just want to make sure that I have done everything I possibly could to salvage the relationship. I don't want any regrets going forward if you see what I mean.

I am going to use debt busting and something else (not quite sure what) to become a way for me to channel my energies/frustrations/emotions in the next few months.

See you around

LAM2011

I think its all a process you have to go through - almost like the grieving process. I moved country once for an expartner that I had been with 10 years to get there and find he had changed the way he felt!!

You will come out stronger but it takes time for the hurt, sadness etc to take its toll. Try focus on your future and what you want x