so fed up and worried about christmas

susieanne

We have had a couple of bad years with our finances everything has been against us , husband lost his job I became ill then we had an overpayment on tax credits so they cut them . Anyway this year been abit better we have gone into an IVA so debts are being sorted but the problem is we are a month away from Christmas and we have no spare money after paying bills/mortgage etc and we have 4 children with nothing to give them for Christmas . Christmas has just crept up so fast , we have been that concerned about paying bills and having food on the table we haven't given a second thought to Christmas and now im really worried . We cant borrow any money cause of the IVA and we have no one to help us out . The only other option is to not pay the mortgage/direct debits in December to pay for Christmas . My husband is due a small payout in mid January so im thinking we could pay the mortgage late . What are the implications of this with the mortgage ? We also had a late payment on the mortgage about 6 months ago , I paid it a few days late and rang up to pay with my debit card . I know its wrong but I feel that we are desperate with no where to turn . Would just like to add two of my children are teenagers so im upset that I cant buy them anything decent , the two younger ones I could probably get away with buying less expensive things .

LauraLou1982

I have no help to offer as I dont know a lot about it, but that sounds like something I would do just to give the kids presents at xmas as that must be tough to not be able to buy them anything.

Hope it all gets sorted and you have a good christmas! x

tiger_eyes

Nooooooooooo!

OK, now I've got that off my chest ... You are obviously a really loving mother and I totally understand that you want to make this a great Christmas for your children, but it is madness to risk your family's long-term future for the sake of one day. The guilt and pressure you feel right now was put on you deliberately through relentless advertising from profit-driven businesses trying to convince you that you're a bad parent unless you spend lots of money. You don't need to fall for it, and you absolutely don't need to take such a dangerous step as skipping bills and mortgage payments in order to spend lots at Christmas.

So you're broke. It doesn't matter. My happiest memories of Christmases past are stuff like making mince pies with my mother and going for a walk in the snow on Christmas Day. I don't even remember most gifts - that's not what's important. It's time to start thinking about fun, cheerful, money-saving ways to host Christmas (and get your family in on the act) because I am now officially banning you from even thinking about skipping paying the mortgage.

I know you can make this a special, warm, family Christmas on a tight budget. And you will be so relieved come January that you managed just fine without skipping any bills.

tallyhoh

Not paying your bills is a really bad idea in my view. Sure the kids would rather have a stable home than prezzies that will be forgotten about in a few weeks.


Are they old enough to be consulted about it?

Dunroamin

Many people (possibly including you) have got into financial problems for exactly this reason. Concentrate of having a wonderful family Christmas together without spending lots of extra money and explain the reasons to your children. It'll be a really good life lesson for them.

susieanne

Thankyou very much for all your advice I know it makes sense but its going to break my heart if the children wake up Christmas morning with no presents just a few mince pies which we baked together

Dunroamin

susieanne wrote: »

Thankyou very much for all your advice I know it makes sense but its going to break my heart if the children wake up Christmas morning with no presents just a few mince pies which we baked together

More to the point, it won't break your children's hearts.

tiger_eyes

susieanne wrote: »

Thankyou very much for all your advice I know it makes sense but its going to break my heart if the children wake up Christmas morning with no presents just a few mince pies which we baked together

I hear what you're saying, but you can absolutely still give your children presents - just not lots of expensive ones! You can look at smaller, cheaper gifts and even handmade items. I'm sure if you give more details about your family, people here can suggest great gifts that hardly cost anything.

And I know you already know this, but since the message from our consumer society is so overpoweringly strong, I just want to say that money is not love. Your children do not measure your love for them based on how much money you spend on their presents. They already know you love them. Cheap gifts will say I love you just as powerfully as expensive ones.

Dunroamin

susieanne wrote: »

We have had a couple of bad years with our finances everything has been against us , husband lost his job I became ill then we had an overpayment on tax credits so they cut them . Anyway this year been abit better we have gone into an IVA so debts are being sorted but the problem is we are a month away from Christmas and we have no spare money after paying bills/mortgage etc and we have 4 children with nothing to give them for Christmas . Christmas has just crept up so fast , we have been that concerned about paying bills and having food on the table we haven't given a second thought to Christmas and now im really worried . We cant borrow any money cause of the IVA and we have no one to help us out . The only other option is to not pay the mortgage/direct debits in December to pay for Christmas . My husband is due a small payout in mid January so im thinking we could pay the mortgage late . What are the implications of this with the mortgage ? We also had a late payment on the mortgage about 6 months ago , I paid it a few days late and rang up to pay with my debit card . I know its wrong but I feel that we are desperate with no where to turn . Would just like to add two of my children are teenagers so im upset that I cant buy them anything decent , the two younger ones I could probably get away with buying less expensive things .

Didn't I post a couple of weeks ago on a thread of yours about university study where you said you were a lone parent?

Mara_uk7

Can you order a few small bits from a catalogue, such as Next which will allow you to pay in full in January when you get your payout ? Its not something Id recommend as a rule, but when there are bairns involved ... And dont go mad, just explain to the older ones that you are a bit skint right now so Christmas has been reduced. The wee ones wont even notice.

dancingfairy

Is the IVA viable/realistic? You do know that if circumstances change you can get the IVA changed? I believe the IP has the right to change your payment by up to about 10%, anything above that has to be agreed by creditors.
I am not saying that just because it is Christmas you should approach your IP and redo your budget, however if your budget needs reworking anyway then now might be a good time to get in touch with them.
df