so fed up and worried about christmas

ReginaII

The lady posted a question concerning her finances, not marriage guidance, her personal life is her own and if she wants to include or omit the presence of a husband (for whatever reason) then that's her own affair.

poppasmurf_bewdley

ReginaII wrote: »

The lady posted a question concerning her finances, not marriage guidance, her personal life is her own and if she wants to include or omit the presence of a husband (for whatever reason) then that's her own affair.

Or even make up the odd story or two. As a relative newcomer to this forum, you won't have seen the many threads started by so-called Trolls.

ReginaII

poppasmurf_bewdley wrote: »

Or even make up the odd story or two. As a relative newcomer to this forum, you won't have seen the many threads started by so-called Trolls.

I don't care, I have no need to know the details of a posters personal life, nor have you, regardless of how long you have been posting for. It won't disturb my sleep nor yours, ultimately.

SavingPennies_2

Principa has suggested some great ideas. Its only one christmas, cut back this year, and take on board some of the ideas principa has suggested, have a look on the OS board too. Then in January get a money box that cant be opened and start saving a small amount each month, even if its only £5 so next year you can have a "proper" christmas, though you might find after cutting back this year dont dont need spend as much as you thought.

bess1234_2

So if you set your budget of £100 for presents , how can you raise it . eBay, road kill , any extra work, surveys ( that may involve the sales IOU ) any savings on your budget, then head over to old style board, and do the clever cheap and free stuff to make it special , because it's not the presents that make it special .

We are following the girl called jack blog recipes all month so that the food budget will be there for the last week , which Is christmas. already looking forward to it more than usual. A blowout is less fun, without the anticipation.

If you don't break your thought process now ( must spend money to be happy, even if it risks the roof over our heads ) then the future won't be happy.

Pricivius

As others have suggested, not paying for life's essentials of housing/utilities in order to buy something for your kids makes no sense. You need to prioritise and only once your family is securely housed, warm, clean and fed can you consider spending on the non-essentials.

I remember Christmas when I was about 13, playing charades and home-made pictionary and having a mental blank on the leader of the labour party during another silly game involving post-its. It was so funny and I can picture it now. I remember Christmas when I was 9 or 10 because we all went for a lovely walk in the park - the whole family still wearing cracker hats! Every year we played "who can keep their hat on the longest"! I remember Christmases with my grandparents eating so slowly and my Grandad standing for the Queen's speech every year. I remember my Granny playing Christmas carols on the piano while we danced and sang around her. I remember making Christmas pudding and putting up the old decorations every year, using the Christmas cards we received to decorate and make it a bit different. I remember the people and the silly games, the carols, midnight mass and christingle, the walks in the park and the laughter.

But I don't remember most of my presents. I'm sure there was a bike one year and a doll another year, but I can't tell you which year. I can't list them and I never look back at Christmas and think "what did I get that year?" I think "who was there?" and "what did we do?". What made it special is never the gifts.

ReginaII

Well, here's my tuppence worth. I agree with all the posts suggesting a good old fashioned family Christmas, try to cream a bit off your housekeeping each week and see if there's anything you can flog in order to raise a little extra, pick up coupons, visit Tesco/Sainsbury's etc at about 7pm when there's (usually) lots of reduced items which you can freeze in order to reduce your shopping bill a bit further. Have a look at your local classifieds, ebay etc. for bits and bobs that the children might like.

My mother once wrote to Cussons (a genuine letter btw) saying how much she liked their Imperial Leather bath foam, she got a huge box back full of soap, talc, bath foam, etc. along with a lovely letter. We had all been taking the proverbial and laughing at her for doing it but, the smiles were soon wiped lol So, you never know!

I would speak to your eldest two though, so they know to keep expectation in check and they can help you!

susieanne

Thankyou very much theres some excellent advice


And jeeze didn't realise I would be under suspicion im now back with husband along with his eldest daughter living with us and I didn't think it was the right time to start university with all that was going on so postponed that . Also due to now not being a single parent I now have to pay rent plus lots of other stuff we had an overpayment on tax credits ect ect so we are worse off financially by living as a couple but much happier as a family


Hope that answers a few of your questions to those who where suspicious of me

onamissionEU

Just to add my 2 cents...

The most memorable Christmas I have had in recent/adult times was the first Christmas after meeting my wife. We had 2 weeks holiday, walked in the snow (we are not in the UK!), ate and drank well with various family members and enjoyed Christmas markets and local attractions. I do not remember what we gave eachother for presents - it was not important.

Fast forward a few years we now have small children at home who are not yet able to understand Christmas/presents and we are already teaching them that the occasion is about family and NOT material things. We ask family not to give the kids presents - rather credit their savings accounts with what they would have spent (optional) and my wife and I will get them one or two presents "from the whole family". The savings account thing was an after thought but will make for a good start in life once they reach 21!

We are a well off family with no financial problems but choose not to "waste" money for "an occasion". We also no longer give/receive presents to/from the rest of the family (apart from a token gift like a little chocolate or cookies) as we see no need for it. Spending money on good food and wine is another matter.... But there is something for every budget in that area!

cosette

I think you've got things a bit topsy-turvy, saying you'd like to be able to buy your teenagers more expensive things. If they are teenagers, they are old enough to understand the financial facts of life, and be told that their 'real' presents will come in January, when finances are healthier. On-the-day presents can be home-made or come from charity shops or discount shops.

If your teenagers really feel the need to save face with friends, they can say that they couldn't think of what to ask for for Christmas, so are going shopping with you in January. Or say they had mainly money or vouchers - which will be true, just a bit delayed.

Make Christmas about the fun, family things like others have said, perhaps just do a stocking and/or a token gift for Christmas Day. If you don't make a big deal of it, chances are they won't. Just be brisk and matter-of-fact about the financial stuff, and focus on the fun stuff.

Don't make any rash decisions, it's really not worth it.