facing singledom - advice please

centralpark

Dear all
due to a number of reasons im considering splitting up from my partner of 4 years. I love him to distraction but he is very irresponsible with money and alcohol.
. I have just had my first baby who is now six months
I have had to go to work through a temping agency while partner looks after baby because he has injured his back.
I live in a house jointly mortgaged with my ex husband. He is just a name on mortgage he wants nothing out of house.
my mother is paying my mortgage.
I owe around £10k on various cards loans etc. Debt jointly run up with my partner but all in my name

if I were to ask him to leave where would I stand in terms of getting any financial assistance? I dont want to work full time and miss seeing my son grow up.
Will 'owning' my own property affect my chances of getting help?

I have family in Sanother county.. could I rent my house out and have proceeds gping to mum who is paying mortgage and be eligible for council house back home? My house is in neg equity so I cant sell.

Im petrified of acting rashly and then findin g I cant feed my child. There is no possibility of going part time where j am so I would need to quit work for time being and look at it down the line.

I woulf like to look at leaving the area ultimately and going back home for a fresh start as where I live hasnt been happy for me but I dont want to involve my family until im certain its over because they have a tenfancy to get over involved.
any advice please xx

Gigglepig

Oh dear.

Unless you or your child are is at risk I think I would stay put with partner in the short term and pay down on credit car debt in your name, pull together some savings and like you say, not do anything rash.

Secondly sort out deeds and mortgage so the house is either in your or your ex's sole name, otherwise your ex spouse could change their mind and ask for equity when the mortgage is paid down. This may require some savings if the house is in negative equity.

Thirdly i would start looking for a well paid permanent job either in the area you wish to move to, a job that would allow you you to pay your own housing costs, debts, and childcare.

Personally I think it would be a really bad idea to quit your job before you have secured another one and it might not be realistic to have the luxury of going part time, if you need a full time salary to support yourself and the baby.

Regarding eligibility for council housing i think the criteria vary so you would need to check what they are in your area.

tea_lover

centralpark wrote: »

I dont want to work full time and miss seeing my son grow up.

Whilst I can appreciate your sentiments here, what you're effectively asking is for other people to work (full-time or otherwise) to support what you want to do.

It's no one else's responsibility to finance your child, and I think it would be very foolish to give up a full-time job when you have these responsibilities.

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow

Hi OP. First of all, as you are currently temping and your OH looks after the baby have you considered getting a permanent job, either full or part time, and your OH continuing to look after the baby.

You will be eligible for council tax benefit, child benefit, child tax credits and working tax credits on top of your salary and when your OH eventually gets a job you will be entitled to 15% of his earnings and 70% off nursery fees.

Being a single parent is do-able and, frankly, not all that difficult. It certainly is easier than being in a rubbish relationship and trying to parent.

You don't get housing benefit if you own a property, regardless of who actually stumps up the money for the mortgage.

PasturesNew

centralpark wrote: »

....

There's no one specific question to tackle there, so I'll just leap in.

Keep the job
Sell the house
Cut all financial ties regarding the house etc, draw a line under that
Give your OH an ultimatum of "shape up or ship out"
Rent somewhere where you want to be
Look at the work issue depending what's happened.

highjewelgreen

If you have various loans and credit cards, have you looked at whether any of them had mis-sold PPI on them. If you haven't get cracking. I have had £1000's back off mine for very little work.

Laurajo_2

If you own a house, that will rule you out of a council house, I suspect.

Tixy

How much is the house in negative equity for?

if you can't afford the mortgage and are unlikely to be able to do so for a while and if it is in negative equity have you considered handing it back to the mortgage company? and then considering options for dealing with the shortfall (ideally with the other joint owner - you say he wants nothing out the house, perhaps you need to talk about whether he should be taking the hit for half the negative equity in the property).

HPoirot

Doesn't look like you have thought this through at all. You have debts to clear and you want financial assistance; you have a full time job yet you want to quit and sit around until part time comes along; you have a house yet you want to cash in the rent and get a council house?? Anything else you want??

ERICS_MUM

could you move in with your mum, rent out your house and continue to work ?

jetplane

centralpark wrote: »

Dear all due to a number of reasons im considering splitting up from my partner of 4 years. I love him to distraction but he is very irresponsible with money and alcohol.

I have just had my first baby who is now six months

I have had to go to work through a temping agency while partner looks after baby because he has injured his back.

I live in a house jointly mortgaged with my ex husband. He is just a name on mortgage he wants nothing out of house. My mother is paying my mortgage.

I owe around £10k on various cards loans etc. Debt jointly run up with my partner but all in my name.

If I were to ask him to leave where would I stand in terms of getting any financial assistance? I dont want to work full time and miss seeing my son grow up.

Will 'owning' my own property affect my chances of getting help?

I have family in another county.. could I rent my house out and have proceeds going to mum who is paying mortgage and be eligible for council house back home? My house is in neg equity so I cant sell.

Im petrified of acting rashly and then finding I cant feed my child. There is no possibility of going part time where I am so I would need to quit work for time being and look at it down the line.

I would like to look at leaving the area ultimately and going back home for a fresh start as where I live hasnt been happy for me but I dont want to involve my family until im certain its over because they have a tendency to get over involved.

any advice please xx

OP your situation sounds a mess and it sounds like you want to run away. You are currently taking responsibility for a house in negative equity and someone elses' debt. If your current options are working full time, your mother paying your mortgage, you paying off debt while living in an unhappy relationship in an area you do not like I'm not surprised.

Ultimately if you really want to you could ask your partner to leave, stop work and claim Income Support as a single parent. You could claim housing costs on the interest on your mortgage, there are waiting times for the housing costs and there are rules for Income Support and your mother paying your mortgage so you will need to seek advice. You would be entitled to Child Tax Credits. You could seek help regards having debt written off or claiming PPI and offering final payments. You could negotiate nil or tiny debt repayments while you are on Income Support.

You could consider bankruptcy. You have no equity in the house, it will clear your debt. Check that all of your debt is covered. You will need to raise an admin fee but wont need to pay your mortgage. You will end up technically homeless but could then rent privately and receive Housing Benefit or seek council accommodation. If you work within the bankruptcy period you will need to make payments. Check out the the bankruptcy forum on here.

You need to address the mortgage issue with your ex. No wonder he wants nothing to do with it he currently has nothing to gain and is leaving all of the responsibility to you and your mother. He is still jointly liable and if you go bankrupt put the house up for sale as they will chase him for he debt.

Owning your property does not prevent you from receiving other benefits but you cant just rent out this house and pay your mother the rent. You would have income from the property and would you ever get permission to rent out? It may invalidate your mortgage you would have landlord costs etc. Again there is a forum on here which could give you the facts on being a landlord.

The popular view is to hold down a job and pay off your debt, however much of a struggle that may be and however many years it might take you. It is not the only option though.

You will get some good advice on here, you need to do what is right for you and your son and claiming Income Support may be a temporary measure and your right you can look at returning to work somewhere down the line.