another moan about my ex and the children

Brewstersmum

Hi my ex (well his new GF) has just set up a CSA claim after 3 years of having a family arrangement. I am the NRP but never intended to be, I actually signed over the child benefit so my ex had somewhere to live and over the 3 years he has decided to push and push so I become the NRP. Im obviously not happy about any of this.

I told my ex the other day that I was getting passports for the children as we are going on holiday next year. he has now BANNED me from seeing my children as he thinks im going to kidnap them!! (thanks Emmerdales latest story line!!!)

my partner has spoken to him and managed to get me some contact but im not allowed to pick my children up on my own. these claims are very wild and totally unsubstantiated. I have a very good job and also my own business, why would I up and leave?? if I ever thought of doing this would I really tell him im applying for passports?

ive been a mum for 16 bloody years and find this very degrading. what can I do??

paulineb_2

See a lawyer as soon as possible.

kelpie35

Your child/children are surely of an age to decide where they stay as you have said you have been a mum for 16 years.

Brewstersmum

It's the 2 younger children that he has stopped me from seeing

paulineb_2

He doesnt have the legal right to keep you away I dont think if you have shared access, but if this is an unofficial arrangement, you may need to see a lawyer about going to court to get court to agree access.

iammumtoone

How many nights do the children spend with you?

Brewstersmum

It's changed a lot over the past month. It was half and half so 3 nights a week, it's now been changed to every other weekend!!! Obviously this is for the CSA claim. I tried to pick them up at other times but he would argue about days or just go out all day! The worst was a few weeks ago where he took the away for 3 nights during my weekend to have them!! I didn't see them for 2 weeks.

I actually hate him. He is a very good dad but a total ar5e

ClaireJollies

Definitely get onto the lawyer and get the legal proceedings rolling.

iammumtoone

Brewstersmum wrote: »

It's changed a lot over the past month. It was half and half so 3 nights a week, it's now been changed to every other weekend!!! Obviously this is for the CSA claim. I tried to pick them up at other times but he would argue about days or just go out all day! The worst was a few weeks ago where he took the away for 3 nights during my weekend to have them!! I didn't see them for 2 weeks.

I actually hate him. He is a very good dad but a total ar5e

Sounds like you now need a lawyer. Even with shared care I believe he would still be entitled to claim CSA off you and you from him, this is not normally done in practice but as you earn more than him it would be worth his while.

Have you tried mediation? this might help and if he refuses to attended it will help your court case that you tried this avenue first.

Carl31

Unfortunately, there's usually 2 sides to these stories

Whys he suddenly looking to get the CSA involved? Do you pay regular maintenance at an appropriate level?