Wake up call time

Broke_Kitty

fatbelly wrote: »

You have no housing costs and only spend £90 per month on groceries. That's good, and so even with travel costs you have nearly £500 per month to throw at your debts.

You would be nearer £800 available if you could address this little lot:

Woah that sounds like a lot! I will have a look into how much phone insurance and breakdown cover would be seperately and look at downgrading my current account.

Meals at work I'm looking to eliminate altogether, and eating out cut in half. Drinking out I also want to cut back on massively, and I know cinema is a frivolous thing but it's important to me to still see my boyfriend as I am sure people will understand.

Loosepockets wrote: »

Hi there. As well as trying to trim your outgoings down, as others have said above, have you considered trying to get some extra money in?

The first thing that springs to mind would be maybe a part time job a couple of evenings a week?

Or there are websites you can use to earn a little more? I signed up to dooyoo and slice the pie about a month ago and get about £10 a week from those which helps?? Let me know if you want details but that could be money that you throw straight at your debt?

Good luck x

An extra part time job is out of the question, as I can barely cope with my full time job as it is. I have CFS and I am already working altered hours because I wasn't coping. I am looking into things I can do fom home though, those sites you mentioned sound great especially if you're getting £10 a week already! That's good!

I also make YouTube videos and get a little bit of money from the revenue of the ads. Not a lot, but I've been doing it a year now and am just about to hit the £60 payout point which will go straight to paying my debts.

Tixy wrote: »

What is the extra £2k you are planning to spend soon? is it more dental work? If so is it really essential to have it done now and definitely not something you can get through the NHS?

To be honest you really cannot afford to take on more debt at the moment. As it is you are barely able to afford the repayments on your debts and if you take on more credit then you won't be able to.

I would have a really careful think before you commit to any more large spending.

You say you were hoping to move out by 25. At the moment if you just pay the £472 towards your debts it is likely to take you 2.5 years to clear your debts (plus the overdraft you haven't listed).
Obviously if you take on another £2k debt then that is going to increase even further.

I would put something in your SoA for car maintenance, at the moment you have nothing for servicing/new tyres etc that you will need at some point, and if you don't budget for it you will end up taking on more debt to pay for it.

As you asked for a kick up the bum, I would recommend you don't pay out the extra £2k, and that you at least halve the £302 you are currently spending on entertainment/lottery etc.

The dental work is a failed root canal which is causing me constant pain, so it's pretty much essential unfortunately. The dentist I went to is an NHS dentist, but she said there is nothing that can be done actually ON the NHS, I had the option of being referred to various specialists all charging an arm and a leg and went with the one she recommended most highly (and the only one who wouldn't charge me just for the consultation). I have been on the NHS dentist waiting list for over a year, so I was very lucky to even get to see an NHS dentist at all. I literally rung every single NHS dentist within a 20 mile radius and got lucky that one would see me. I'd been told I would be at least another 6 months on the waiting list. It's a joke where I live. I don't really see what other options I've got. I'd obviously rather anything than have to spend a couple thousand pounds extra and it has really upset me that this has happened especially as it was apparently unavoidable and 'just happens'. I look after my teeth really well but I have had constant problems.

I just cancelled the lottery altogether, and I have a 50p sandwich for my dinner at work instead of my usual £4 hot meal, so that's a step in the right direction.

I hear you on the car maintainance, I just paid my boyfriend back the £130 I owed him for my car breaking recently, and I had to pay out £500+ when the headgasket went a couple of months ago. I don't really feel like I can be putting money away when I have none spare and everything that I do have needs to be thrown at debts though? But I think you are right and I can't have unexpected costs either.

harrys_dad

Without wanting to sound too harsh, you titled this thread "wake up call" but I don't think you are completely awake yet. You are lucky enough to have a job, and be without any housing costs, so have £1100 a month disposable income. You seem however to prefer to justify discretionary expenditure rather than follow the advice given to pay down your debts.

You got into this situation by spending more than you had coming in, and the way out is to spend less! Depending on where the tooth is you could save the £2000 you are about to spend and do not have by having an extraction.

£130 a month on "drinking out" is ludicrous and unaffordable. Does your boyfriend know you are in debt? If not, tell him, and make it clear you cannot afford your current lifestyle, especially the "drinking and eating out". A quiet night in with a home cooked meal, a film and a bottle of wine will save you a fortune, and likely be more enjoyable anyway.

Your alarm clock is still ringing, you need to get fully awake!

MrsGSR

Hi Broke Kitty,
Just my twopenny worth. You can still see your boyfriend but you could maybe think of things that don't cost as much, walks in the woods, art galleries, museums, a dvd at home or if you are with orange use orange wednesdays to its full advantage.
Fair enough you don't want to give up on your social life but you want to clear the debt so you need curb this in, in order to do it you have to make some cuts somewhere. Noone is suggesting you stay in for the next year but maybe prioritize your outings and think about what fun you can have for free.

Broke_Kitty

harrys_dad wrote: »

Without wanting to sound too harsh, you titled this thread "wake up call" but I don't think you are completely awake yet. You are lucky enough to have a job, and be without any housing costs, so have £1100 a month disposable income. You seem however to prefer to justify discretionary expenditure rather than follow the advice given to pay down your debts.

You got into this situation by spending more than you had coming in, and the way out is to spend less! Depending on where the tooth is you could save the £2000 you are about to spend and do not have by having an extraction.

£130 a month on "drinking out" is ludicrous and unaffordable. Does your boyfriend know you are in debt? If not, tell him, and make it clear you cannot afford your current lifestyle, especially the "drinking and eating out". A quiet night in with a home cooked meal, a film and a bottle of wine will save you a fortune, and likely be more enjoyable anyway.

Your alarm clock is still ringing, you need to get fully awake!

Yeah you're right. My main problem is that I love my boyfriend and friends dearly, and the thought of not seeing them is awful. Having no social interaction is not particularly helpful for my mental health. It's very difficult for anybody to understand that I can't afford the same things. My boyfriend does know I'm in debt, but he doesn't seem to understand that the money we spend on food and drink is the problem, even though I don't buy clothes or anything etc, I don't really shop at all unless something breaks on me. A quiet night in at home with a cooked meal and a film is not gonna happen, he doesn't enjoy that kinda thing. He doesn't cook, finds nights in boring, and wouldn't really be up for it. I will speak to him about it but yeah, it's hard when you can't do what everyone else thinks is 'normal'.

EDIT: Didn't address the dental issue. Problem is, when I suggested extracting it and leaving it my dentist was horrified, because she says my teeth will end up caving together, and the £3500 I've just spent on invisalign to fix my jaw would be essentially partially wasted and there would be nothing I could do with the gap in the future.

Broke_Kitty

MrsGSR wrote: »

Hi Broke Kitty,
Just my twopenny worth. You can still see your boyfriend but you could maybe think of things that don't cost as much, walks in the woods, art galleries, museums, a dvd at home or if you are with orange use orange wednesdays to its full advantage.
Fair enough you don't want to give up on your social life but you want to clear the debt so you need curb this in, in order to do it you have to make some cuts somewhere. Noone is suggesting you stay in for the next year but maybe prioritize your outings and think about what fun you can have for free.

Tbh our cinema trips we go on Vue Tuesdays so we get our tickets for £5, and we make sure we don't go anywhere expensive to eat, just a wetherspoons, but I am thinking about suggesting we just eat at home before cinema. He would definitely get grumpy about it but maybe we could compromise for half the month.

MrsGSR

Broke_Kitty wrote: »

Tbh our cinema trips we go on Vue Tuesdays so we get our tickets for £5, and we make sure we don't go anywhere expensive to eat, just a wetherspoons, but I am thinking about suggesting we just eat at home before cinema. He would definitely get grumpy about it but maybe we could compromise for half the month.

Why would he get grumpy about it? You mentioned earlier that he can afford these things so let him pay!
Does he know the situation you are in?

harrys_dad

Thanks for responding to my comments. I really do feel you need to be a little more open with your boyfriend and expect some more understanding from him. If he doesn't like quiet nights in with a film, a meal and a bottle of wine, AND YOU, then he isn't really long term material is he. Similarly, invite your friends round rather than go out all the time. I suspect some of them have financial worries that you don't know about and they would be pleased too.

MrsGSR

Broke_Kitty wrote: »

Yeah you're right. My main problem is that I love my boyfriend and friends dearly, and the thought of not seeing them is awful. Having no social interaction is not particularly helpful for my mental health. It's very difficult for anybody to understand that I can't afford the same things. My boyfriend does know I'm in debt, but he doesn't seem to understand that the money we spend on food and drink is the problem, even though I don't buy clothes or anything etc, I don't really shop at all unless something breaks on me. A quiet night in at home with a cooked meal and a film is not gonna happen, he doesn't enjoy that kinda thing. He doesn't cook, finds nights in boring, and wouldn't really be up for it. I will speak to him about it but yeah, it's hard when you can't do what everyone else thinks is 'normal'.

EDIT: Didn't address the dental issue. Problem is, when I suggested extracting it and leaving it my dentist was horrified, because she says my teeth will end up caving together, and the £3500 I've just spent on invisalign to fix my jaw would be essentially partially wasted and there would be nothing I could do with the gap in the future.

I didn't see this when I replied to your response.
I have to agree that I don't think you have truely had a LBM because you are still so worried about what is considered "normal" in regards to going out and spending.
Sorry to say it but your boyfriend does not seem to be helping your situation at all.

Broke_Kitty

MrsGSR wrote: »

Why would he get grumpy about it? You mentioned earlier that he can afford these things so let him pay!
Does he know the situation you are in?

He's very particular about going dutch on things. He does know my situation but yeah. He's very fussy. I need to talk to him this weekend.

harrys_dad wrote: »

Thanks for responding to my comments. I really do feel you need to be a little more open with your boyfriend and expect some more understanding from him. If he doesn't like quiet nights in with a film, a meal and a bottle of wine, AND YOU, then he isn't really long term material is he. Similarly, invite your friends round rather than go out all the time. I suspect some of them have financial worries that you don't know about and they would be pleased too.

None of my friends would come round because I live nowhere near any of them, and I don't have the most sane mother so everyone is a bit scared of coming round, and I don't really feel comfortable with it either. All of my friends hang out in one big group once or twice a week and getting them to sack that off would be one thing if I had a suitable place to invite people, but I just don't.

MrsGSR wrote: »

I didn't see this when I replied to your response.
I have to agree that I don't think you have truely had a LBM because you are still so worried about what is considered "normal" in regards to going out and spending.
Sorry to say it but your boyfriend does not seem to be helping your situation at all.

I'm just worried about the reality of having no social interaction at all because I don't go out to see my friends anymore. In the old days it wasn't so bad because we would all go round to someone's house, and just have a glass of wine or what have you, but everybody got less and less inclined to have people over as we got older so now we do all of that in the pub instead and it costs a lot more. I am seriously considering just driving and not drinking instead though, because I understand that this is my main problem spending wise.

Broke_Kitty

I know I have my head in the sand and I'm very stubborn guys, I'm glad you're all telling me off because that's really why I joined. The people around me are definitely not going to tell it to me straight any time soon haha.