Just venting

itsanne

I am a f...g c... OH has been the male equivalent.

Son is in hospital again and visits have not gone well.

I'm fluctuating between feeling upset and anger, despite knowing not to take it personally. Aargh :mad:

Sorry, just venting, there's no need to reply.

McKneff

Oh, Im sure you could rant much better than that lol.


Go on, give it some stick woman !!!

meritaten

Yep - let it out!!!!! a clue as to what is actually happening might be nice too - but it isn't compulsory!

itsanne

McKneff wrote: »

Oh, Im sure you could rant much better than that lol.


Go on, give it some stick woman !!!

This made me smile. Thanks.

I did have a lot more but deleted it before posting as I'd probably have been banned otherwise. Probably should just have deleted the lot :cool:.

itsanne

meritaten wrote: »

Yep - let it out!!!!! a clue as to what is actually happening might be nice too - but it isn't compulsory!

You're right, a bit more of a clue would probably have been a good idea.

My son has long standing severe mental health problems and can be aggressive. He's currently in hospital for the umpteenth time. The first two visits this time were counter productive and culminated in torrents of abuse, so we should have waited longer before going back. However, he sounded more rational when he phoned and asked us to go in, so we made the mistake of going. It wasn't any better. I don't think the ward staff were too happy we hadn't waited longer either!

There's a lot more, but that would be too much information about my son and I don't feel that is appropriate.

I don't really know why I posted last night, other than I was incredibly frustrated and agitated. Sometimes it seems harder to cope than others. I've calmed down today.

McKneff

Cant even begin to imagine what you are going through, I have had no contact with any mental illness, but I have a son and he is one of the the most precious things in my life. It must be terrible for you and your family to have to see him going through this, bless him.


I'm glad I made you smile anyway.


Nothing wrong with having a rant, sometimes we just need to write things down.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

Meh. No point beating yourself up over it. You weren't to know he wasn't ready yet. He obviously didn't.

He's ill. So he's going to be completely obnoxious until the meds have had a chance to settle him down. Just because the staff are aware how long it usually takes and saw him all the time between your visits, that doesn't mean you are supposed to have psychic powers and expertise in assessing progress in one phone call.



Hope he stabilises soon.

System

I hope your son's condition improves. It's very upsetting to see someone you know almost become a different person, which happens a lot with mental illness.

geoffky

Just had a 600 mile round trip after my wifes 72 yrs mum fell and broke her hip while on a turkey and tinsel trip to eastbourne..

They were due home tomorrow and the hotel have no room so the father in law was being kicked out and not being in the best of health was in a real panic...I manged to get him a new hotel and the mil is not to bad but they reckon she will be in a while...Bit of a nightmare...

livingit

Even if you do not take it personally it still hurts.

I do not know how co operative the staff are on the unit but when my OH is in hospital we liaise closely about visiting and his moods. This works both ways: If staff do not think it is a good idea or if he has been 'on a one' then I stay away and let them deal with him. They speak to me regularly about his moods and advise when is not a good time or when he needs extra visits: If he is wanting to come home for a break and I can not cope then they persuade him to give me a break and again they deal with the fall out: We also have regular family meetings:

It is very difficult situation: I go through a gamut of emotions including love, anger, guilt and resentment:

meritaten

I probably understand more than you think having been in a similar situation.
All I can say is that its best to stay away for the present and communicate at one remove! Either pass messages through family who can visit or through staff. Only when staff and yourselves are sure that he would welcome you go visit.
Its hard I know - but, what has happened is now in the past and he really cannot be blamed for something he may have no control over.
Be strong for when he is out of M H care and really needs you.
I am so sorry hun - I wouldn't have made light of it if I had known.