Advice please...

maman

busiscoming2 wrote: »

I think she probably enjoys the peace and quiet if there is lots of siblings at home.

FWIW I live in a cul de sac with a green where the kids play. When mine were young I had a rule that none of the children could come into the house to play, otherwise I would have been overrun! This seemed to be the norm with the other families too.

Strangely enough, when I was a child my mam was the one who did let us bring other children home to play. Fine in the summer when we were out in the garden but in the winter she'd let us play in the 'parlour'. My nan was disgusted as she thought that should be kept strictly for appearances. I suppose other children loved coming because they felt welcome and their own parents wouldn't let them have people back.

I'm pretty confident that the only reason this girl is spending so much time at OP's house is that she feels welcome and it's such a contrast from her own home which potentially sounds a bit manic with so many children.

I have had experience of the sort of situation that Billie described. A friend of mine had a girl who was constantly round at her home and she tried the sending her off before mealtimes strategy, even walked her home. Sadly the poor child had learned to let herself in pretending that her mum was in when she wasn't. My friend was mortified (not that it was her fault) to find out that the child was home alone well into the night with no food. Social Services got involved eventually. It's unlikely that the child in question is neglected just doesn't have the 'charmed' life that she sees OP's son living. But you are right to be vigilant OP.

I doubt that talking to the mum will help. The most she's likely to do is just stop the girl coming round. It sounds like the mum and OP just live by different rules.