How many LBM's do I have to have before I learn!!!

JulieGeorgiana

Very few consolidation loans work, because once you've done it you then start using the CC and Overdrafts again because the credit is still available.

I did take a consolidation loan, but I cancelled my Overdraft, and ALL my credit cards and any other credit. This meant that if I needed more credit for a 'big purchase' I had to think about it before applying (which I never actually did).

You see once it freed up my income, I wrote a list of ALL expenses over the year and made a proper budget. Then I made sure I started saving for those smaller emergencies. I also took larger expenses (car/Christmas/Birthdays) and started setting aside 1/12th every month. This was you don't dip into savings and never paying it back.

If you think your DH would be better at the finances there is no issues with that, but I recommend you BOTH doing it on a weekly basis so you are both accountable for ALL spending.

This stops either of you spending when you shouldn't because you have to explain it to the other.

I noticed you have catalogue debt too... cancel them all...! Start buying clothes from places where you don't need credit (or go into store as and when you need clothes).

Please note that unless you get a grip of your spending, you will easily double your debts... you and your DH have to get on top of things. Set realistic budgets so it's not so hard to stick to them x

Puzzcat

Hi Steph,

Good advice in the post above mine.... For me I was like a hamster on a wheel.. I was paying out over £1400 a month on debt repayment.. I couldn't budget there was no dispsable income to do that with so all money I earnt full time and part time including christmas and birthday cash gifts would go to the debts, and then I would have to use my cards for everything else this went on for over 5 years..I have been in debt for over 20.. and its only ever got worse..

Now i'm on a dmp I have a disposable income and budget, its not easy my credit rating is shot to pieces and I have received defaults etc, its very early days for me. But I can finally stop worrying about how i'm paying those pesky cards and loans off and know that ultimately this time they will be gone..

I'm certainly not saying this is the route you should take, but it was an option I never knew about and if I had I would have done it 5 years ago instead of yet another loan which ultimately just left me with even more monthly repayments as I never learnt how to change my ways.

I wish you well on your journey and if you really feel you can control your monies after getting the loan then well done you. As the posters before have said it would only work if you ensure all available credit is cancelled and you budget for everything..

Good Luck. x

cynicalgit_2

Please please DONT get a secured loan.
Those sub prime loan sharks will shaft you completely.
You risk losing your home.
I lost my home and am now stuck with a massive debt to pay back.
Yes it was my fault, but if something seems too good to be true then it probably is.
There's no magic bullet ,please take the good advice given above.
I really don't want to see you on the forum in a few years time asking for advice on repossession.
Good Luck

tiger_eyes

I'd be really concerned that you're securing this debt against your house when your spending is still out of control. You're essentially gambling your house on your budgeting skills. Are you really that confident?

JulieGeorgiana

I never noticed that it'd be secured on your home. I would rather DMP and ruin my credit for 7 years then risk loosing the roof over your head. And since you fall off the bandwagon as often as you do, it's a serious risk you're taking.

A consolidation loan is one thing... A secured loan is a whole other ball game.

runforlife

Another echo here for the argument AGAINST a consolidation loan, especially secured against your HOME!

NinjaSavingKat

StressedSteph wrote: »

Been here, done this what feels like a million times.

I think looking back I either give up being careful when something big breaks down or the finances become a little easier and I let it slip.

I cannot tell you how angry and ashamed of myself I am .

Is that I am then going to hand over the household finances to my much more frugal, sensible, less impulsive husband.

We will have a small weekly personal spend budget and if we want anything over this amount then we HAVE to talk to each other to get it agreed. This should then stop my miscellaneous spending.

Hello Steph.... I am sure I have seen you on one or two of my challenges and I wondered where you got to. I am sorry you are back in a position of debt but I need to impart a few words of wisdom but I need to make you realise that I am not having a go at you but I am going to suggest you man-up a little.

I have edited your post to include the important bits and you know I don't take prisoners simple because I know that with a bit of will power you can get yourself out of debt and stay there - only if you want to.

SO how did that talk go with your husband? Is he happy to take over the reigns. Including your cards, your debit card and any other access to money you have?

Choose a Debt Free Day. Make it 3 years if two years is too hard. Having a goal is very important - you are aiming for something - you need to also talk about it within your house so you know that any spend you make pushed it further out of reach. Make sure your children know what you are doing (saving so to speak not debt-busting as they will trot off and tell the entire neighbourhood) - if you don't sort yourself out now you are teaching them that they can have anything they want whenever they want - and we all know that isn't true is it??

With your lack of willpower in general NEVER EVER get a consolidation loan - and who in their right mind would consider tying themselves into 12 years of repayment because they are to lazy to do something constructive about it right now? Expecially at the amount you will end up paying back - imagine the holiday you could have? And the home you will lose ir you don't snap out of this "Mummy says yes" attitud..

That may sound harsh. But it's true. You want this debt problem to go away. Well it won't - especially by reducing the monthly repayments so you can breath "a little" Look what you are bringing on yourself? 12 years?? You created this Steph so you need to work at getting rid of it and trust me when you come to the end of the debt busting road once and for all you may never want to return. It's an invaluble lesson.

Do you know where all the money is owed and what the interest rate is? A DMP might be your best option OR if you have the desire to make a plan between you and your husband.. but a consolidation for 12 years is not the option.

Stop being angry or ashamed. Be proud that you are owning up to the debt and wanting to do something about it. I found telling everyone I came across to be quite therapeutic... turn the anger into determination and set a target date. Write it in big letter on the kitchen wall or make a chart or something........

And say no to that consolidation. No no no no no!!!!

NSK

x

foxgloves

It's a big 'no' from me too, regarding consolidation loans. We had 3. Each time we breathed a big sigh of relief.......& carried on spending, and that's almost certainly what you will do too. Each time, we borrowed what we 'needed to get straight', plus a little bit more, just in case, or to facilitate something we thought we needed to buy. Each time, we thought the consolidation loan would be the final chapter of our debt story. It wasn't. We continued overspending our income, failing to budget & refusing to recognise the difference between a 'need' & a 'want'. Things only changed when we addressed our behaviour. Through a lot of hard work & budgeting, we became debt-free a couple of years ago & we believe we now have the skills & determination to stay that way. Tackle your finances jointly, as a team. Don't give up all control of the family finances to your husband - it's not the 1950s. Take a deep breath & start making different choices. If you keep doing everything the same, you can't expect different results! Good luck & be strong!

Buffythedebtslayer

12 years v 2 or 3 years.

Steph you are so selling yourself short on this one! Have you looked at your signature? You CAN DO THIS. And it needn't take 12 long years.

Look
Littlewoods £2940 £421 / Overdraft £3000/ Next £1575 £1212 / Co-op cc £2000 £1911.84 / Barclays £963 / Tesco CC £5030 / Virgin CC £4255 £4154
Total £19763 Now £16692. LBM 11/12 AGAIN!!
FOCUS = Littlewoods & Next Paid 64 %
POAMAYC2013 #36 / UFC # 31 / POADB 2013 #105 Sealed Pot challenge 6 #190

We all do this Steph, we all have moments of Holy !!!! how am I going to manage? what do I pay next? When is pay day?

It's crap. truly when I think of missed opportunities and the can't haves but eventually I come back to the being free idea. the having real disposable income not just the bank's money. I hang on to that, actually not having scary bills just normal ones! and being able to buy silly things and go on holiday and not worry about it.

And although currently I have about 4000 worth of debt, I did have 25,000 and I paid it off between 2007 to 2011. It was a slog although the last 18 months were great in many ways, I was focussed and paid double - at times I was miserable (work mainly) but in the end that feeling in June 2011 was so worth it.

Think hard and remember that here you aren't alone. It does work and it is worth it.

xxxx

pennies_from_Heaven

I have to agree with the above posters, please don't consider the consolidation loan.
I have done this a couple of times, the breathing space just means that you feel you can afford a 'treat because you deserve it, you work so hard, you've had so much stress over this money thing' (that's what I thought).
Then push comes to shove and you have to sell your home, with thoughts of 'oh, I can rent awhile, until I've saved enough for another deposit, whilst using the equity to pay the debt' (which I have also done).

Believe me, it never ends. Full stop. Unless you change your mindset now and feel the pain of taking responsibility of where you are now, it will continue. I am still struggling to change my mindset, after all the years of debt, consolidation loans and using my home equity to pay debt.

I would hate you to be in this situation, please, PLEASE take the advice seriously, consolidation rarely works, I would hate that you end up like me, no home, no hope of owning again in the near future, and debt still building because you haven't really, let's admit it, had that painful, illuminating lightbulb moment.

Take care, and I for one hope you take off the rose tinted glasses and make the right decision,

Pennies :A