thinking of running away!

redsquirrel80

Hugs.. I agree with the above, it could be worth you going to the doctor, even if you dont need or want to take medication then just talking to someone neutral about how you feel could help a lot. Sorry I haven't read all your posts so don't know what your position is - if you work, does your company have a counselling service you can access? Try to take some time to look after yourself, go out for some fresh air, have some quiet time to rest even if you can't sleep.

Hope things pick up for you soon.. you're obviously on the right track x

hannahsmummy1

i have suffered from depression before when i was univeristy. I was anti depressants before (seroxat actually- i tried to do something stupid) so they have put me off using them. I think the fact that the kalms and rescue remedy hasnt worked means that i do need something stronger. I will have to wait till thursday now as my surgery do a half day on tuesday and closed all day on a wednesday and i cant drive to the other surgery as i dont drive!

My dad has just rang again to make sure i was ok. He says he feels really guilty about what has happened and was ready for coming down to face up to oh- he told me to tell oh that if he has a problem then to speak to my dad about it. I love my dad to pieces, and its breaking his heart seeing me like this, he did say in OH defence that i should have told him about all this to begin with then it wouldnt have gotten to be such a problem- but hindsight is a wonderful thing eh?!

Shineyhappy

Hi HM!!

I am very glad you are posting again. It is no wonder you are stressed and not sleeping but you must go and see your GP. You are under a huge amount of pressure with no support at all and just people to worry about.

I think you need to sort yourself out first so you feel better and then seriously take your other half to Relate and let him know that unless he starts supporting you and caring for you like a husband should then it appears your marriage is just a sham and not an equal partnership and you dont want that.

I know how awkward parents can be, I love my mum but its rare to get much support from her and usually I just get her problems dumped on me and it is a one way street of emotional support. I am lucky and my OH is a tower of strength and support and that makes the difference between crying myself to sleep every night and being a little down but coping.

You need to be strong for your children and your OH should want that too and he doesnt seem to care enough about either of you, sorry if my words seem harsh, but I hate to see anyone so upset when it is so easily avoidable and the debts are joint and he could easily pay them off and not really notice a little dent in his savings. You really deserve better.

hannahsmummy1

i told OH last night that he is as much use as a chocolate teapot! We argued and i didnt speak to him for the rest of the night I am going to make an appointment at the GP- but i have to wait till thursday- you cant make advance appointments- you have to ring up on the day. Work does have a counselling service im sure- but its likely to be office hours- when i look after my daughter

Skint_Catt

:hello: Hi HannahsMummy,

I know how you feel re stress and AD's. I've just come off anti-depressants, but due to my fathers Parkinsons disease (and his recent decline - still being tested), my Mum's stress about my father (she takes it out on me - the only child) and my boyfriends demands (on time - not the demands I'd like!) I felt like running away last week too. Caught in the middle of everything isn't good so big hugs to you, but it can only get better.

C xx

PigginSkint

hi HM

Sorry to hear you are having a rough time.:grouphug:

I think that it's a very good idea for you to see your GP - it sounds like you really do need some antidepressants. Both OH and I have suffered from depression (OH even had a ND) so I can sympathise - hope you feel better soon.

Also, it sounds like you really need to go to Relate. I read some of your previous thread at the end of last week and your situation sounds very similar to what I went through with my Ex (one of the main reasons he is my Ex!) so I have a good idea what you are going through.

Life does get better - honest!

onedayiwill

Hi HM,

This is about my fifth attempt at replying to this thread as I keep going into a ramble about my own story. So I'm going to try and keep this post short and to the point.

You wrote that you were thinking of running away and that you want tell everyone: "i will pay the debts off then everyone can stop squabbling over money."

So what would happen if you did either of those things? Why don't you do them?

Do you need ADs? Maybe, maybe not. Only you can decide.

Perhaps you just need a short break to refocus and get your head together. Maybe you can't afford to go away. But what about taking daughter to the park for a few hours, just enjoying her. After that meet a friend for coffee, then come home for a long bath with wonderful, smelly stuff - lavender is great to help you relax. Followed by a favourite movie snuggled on the couch (without hubby who is causing you stress at the moment) and an early night. Give yourself permission to enjoy your day and NOT think about debts or family for the day.

The thing is, how you feel at the moment is normal - given the circumstances. To feel any other way a the moment would not be normal. Just because you feel this way, doesn't necessarily mean you need antidepressants.

I'm not saying you shouldn't take them if you feel it is right.

I take them against my real wishes because for me, at the moment, I really struggle to function without them. For me, I struggle to understand why I feel the way I do and these pills help me "straighten out" this confused, irrational thinking which otherwise leads me into life-ending spirals of depression (fortunately - I can say fortunately today because I feel good! often I would begin this sentence in unfortunately - I haven't succeeded in ending it yet).

The difference is that your thinking at the moment is completely rational and completely understandable. You even know in your head what you need to do -- have a break and tell folk to butt out, you'll sort it yourself. I seriously believe that if you did these two things you would feel much better - more empowered and more positive. And that if you did this maybe ADs would not be necessary.

OK, not so short and to the point. But these are my thoughts.

Oh, and I almost forgot ... !!{hugs}}

Take care of yourself, whatever route you choose to go down.