Real-life MMD: Should I make homemade presents that won't be appreciated?

Tricia1

Perhaps you would like to try what we decided top do in my family (being a large family), we drew up a list of all the nieces and nephews and siblings and we shared them out amongst the various aunties and uncles, which gave us about 4 presents to purchase each (instead of about 20+), we then gave ourselves a £10-20 price range per present. We label the presents as being from the K**** Family, rather than from Auntie so and so. This saves lots of money and shopping, and everyone still gets a nice present from the whole family.

buzzard

your husband ought to know best what his brothers would like - but they sound like materialistic people who perhaps you don't want to give any gift. Of course it does depend what you planned to make - most people would appreciate home made sweets but not necessarily (to mention a family gift to my child) a few beads on a bit of elastic, not even chosen to reflect what colours she likes. I knew someone who made everyone chilli falvoured olive oil - great if you like chillis and olive oil but not if spice makes you ill.

In my family we long ago decided not to buy presents for adults (other than your own children if you want to). This year I shall probably only buy gifts for children over 10 if I see them as I'm tired of wasting money on spoilt brats who cant be bothered to say thank you. They may get a card saying your present this year was a donation in your name to disaster relief.

Lucyfr

Why do people always assume 'homemade' = crusty and rubbish?! I like some of the ideas on here and just thought, why not make them a hamper?? Lidl have an excellent top of the range food section at the mo at great prices (kirsch jam £1.50, could you even make it for cheaper??) and you could add in homemade truffles etc or whatever you can make. Mini bottles of wine with lots of ribbon round are cheap too. It will have a big impact visually and will hopefully make them feel ashamed of wanting commercial rubbish Good Luck!

MeanJean

I agree with most of the other very sensible contributors. From what you say about your husbands brothers they sound as if they are under 10's so I suggest he has a sensible talk to them about the hard financial facts of life and asks for their understanding. If they are over 10 then he needs to have a firmer talk to them. If that fails then if they live together do you have enough cash to buy a box of M & S chocs or biscuits while they are on half price offer? An unemployed friend of mine bought 2 boxes at half price for a birthday and xmas. Good luck, home made is a great idea.

tallgirld

If you have been told they will not appreciate it what's the point of making anything?

I agree that it is the thought that counts but I would rather receive nothing than something that will be no use to me.

At christmas I spend as LITTLE as possible on presents. It's sad that some people feel under so much pressure to give. I used to feel a bit like that but not anymore.

gaving7095

+1 vote for home made food / drink from me :-)
Agree that if they're over 18 they don't "need" any gift & should consider themselves lucky whatever they get.
Don't buy vouchers 'cause vouchers suck! :-)

MeanJean

husky23 wrote: »

Me and my siblings decided on a 'secret santa' this year. We spend £40 each on the person they get instead of £25/30 each person (there are 4 of us so we are saving almost half the money) means that we get to 'suggest' presents of higher value that can be picked from or at least give inspiration and we're all saving money.

I wanted to make presents this year but tbh had no idea where to start or what to make. I've bought all my presents now as I had to start early in order to afford it but I'm going to make a plan of what family and friends like and get started on a list of ideas early next year so I can be prepared and do it.

The secret santa idea is a good one but if you have been struggling to raise this sum of £40 then may I suggest that gifts costing £10 could be equally appreciated and maybe you could downsize the cost of other gifts. We put a limit of £10 on gifts some years ago, and it means that not too much money has been wasted if the gift does not have the wow factor. Remember to treat yourself as you go through life - do not put all your cash towards the next lot of xmas presents.

minicooper272

I think you should still make him something home made. The difficulty is, if you give one person special treatment, someone else will wonder why they aren't worth the same to you.

Probably the key here is to try and make your gift more relevant to his likes. If he likes cooking, infused oils are good, or you could try making infused boozes. Just think about the type of alcohols he likes and flavours he might appreciate. I made chilli whisky last year, lime and ginger gin, sour apple vodka (using sour apple sweets).

minicooper272

Lucyfr wrote: »

Why do people always assume 'homemade' = crusty and rubbish?! I like some of the ideas on here and just thought, why not make them a hamper?? Lidl have an excellent top of the range food section at the mo at great prices (kirsch jam £1.50, could you even make it for cheaper??) and you could add in homemade truffles etc or whatever you can make. Mini bottles of wine with lots of ribbon round are cheap too. It will have a big impact visually and will hopefully make them feel ashamed of wanting commercial rubbish Good Luck!

Just read this one too - this is a really good idea too. My dad is hard to buy for but loves cheeses. Ready made hampers just didn't contain very much for the money, so I made up my own. I spent the same amount but got so much more into it!

My housemate also found a sweet shop that sold lots of retro sweets, and made up a big sweetie box for around £8 (it buys quite a lot of dip dabs), and is great if the brothers are too young to drink.

stolen_flame

I think it really depends how old the brothers are, and what crafty skills you are planning to use. Rather than assume they will be ungrateful for anything homemade, perhaps that your husband thinks that what you are planning to make may not suit their style--there's no point in giving them a knitted bobble hat if they only wear very smart suits and prefer a dapper, city look for example, and you can't expect teenage boys to love crocheted flowers or a stuffed rabbit. My dad is always pleased and appreciative of anything I make him, but as my crafty talents lie mostly in jewellery and cutesy, I often buy most of his present. Or people who don't make things themselves sometimes simply can't appreciate how much time you have put into something because they aren't crafty themselves.

If they are younger than 12-14, then there are loads of cool things you can make that they will appreciate, depending on your skill level. Try oneprettything (I can't post the link but it will come up in a search) for lots of themed lists of stuff to make, including presents for men, and presents for children, and browse pinterest for inspiration.

Older teens may really appreciate a few "taxi vouchers", if you have a car and can afford the petrol--and are willing to drive a car full of teenagers home after the pub, or to the cinema. Or buy some t-shirt printing paper (Wilko's is cheap and decent quality) and either put a few slogans on t-shirts for them--or give them an IOU for some personalised tshirts they they can design and you will print.

If they are past university age, then I agree with many other people here that edible gifts are the way to go--worst comes to worst they won't be wasted, someone will always eat them, and then the evidence is gone My little sister made some divine rum truffles last Christmas, and one of my friends always gives a small bottle or two of a homemade liqueur, both of which are well received by all ages (over 18) and genders. Failing that, buy them some cheaper chocolates or food, and dress it up with your own packaging to make it look special, or mix part homemade with something bought--a homemade pack of cider/wine mulling spices with a bottle or two of cider, or some homemade hot chocolate mix with a mug, for example.