Starting new job - how much of an effort do you make to know those around you?

sterl1ng

I only have 1 person I work with and get on with them quite well. The rest around me are other teams and we may occassionally chitchat but I do find it quite difficult to get to know them as I don't work directly with them. I was invited out to their drinks once, my colleague didn't go though and we were sat around table talking which was ok

They are nice bunch and I do hear them talk about topics which do really interest me but I worry if I try joining in they might see me as being out of line (perhaps thats my senstive side coming out).

I don't want it to be me and other colleague as can be bit boring, not to mention bit lonely if I'm on my working alone.

Do you try mingle with just immediate or others around and if so how do you do that if you don't actually work with them as rather a challenge!

Angelinaxoxo

I do find these things tend to happen naturally, in every job I've had I've never made a conscious decision to 'get in' with people, it seemed to always happen naturally and it's worked well for me as some of the most amazing people I've met have been through work.

It's easier to befriend people in your immediate team, however I've always made friends in other departments and teams too, just start off slowly, remember this is work after all. You're main aim at the beginning should be finding your feet in the actual job.

As you work longer just position yourself as a friendly open person, they will pick up on that, if you bump into each other in the kitchen ask what they are up to that evening , if they are going to drink they'll invite you more often.

I'd just say please don't try and force it, let these things happen naturally.

duchy

I used to work on a "night" team in an office. I'd finish at 9am just as the day office staff came in. If not on the phone I'd say a cheery Hello ...often I'd be making an end of shift coffee prior to leaving as they were making their first and we'd chit-chat. On rare days I was in working in the daytime because I had made an effort everyone was very chatty but I do know others who didn't "do" sociable in the mornings were just left to get on with it when they did days or started early.

They asked you to join them in the pub so there's a clear message of inclusion ...chat when making coffee .....if you are there early or late and there's only one or two in on the other team you could offer to make their tea/coffee when making yours once in a while if your desks are all adjacent ), make sure you say hi and bye at the end of the day....do the usual stuff like noticing new hair styles and it'll gently evolve.

nearlyrich

I work remotely so don't have the day to day office banter but fortunately the team I work with are all great and we have lots of fun when we get together. In the wider team there are some people I get on with better than others however I don't have to see most them every day so it's not too much effort to play nice when I need to. I don't think there is anyone I would have to kill if I had to sit next to them for 37 hours a week.(well maybe one or two)

angelil

Socialising at work is difficult for me. My employer hires a lot of part-time employees, which means many people are coming and going at different times and that you can therefore go for weeks without seeing some people even if all of you are in. This is even harder for the full-time employees as we don't always have the 'free' time/gaps in our schedules that the part-timers do. Also making socialisation difficult is the fact that a) many people have long journey times to come in, so can't or don't feel like stopping after work and b) several of my colleagues have small children so really have to dash rather than staying to socialise. A shame really, as I work with a nice bunch of people (on the whole ) and it would be nice to see more of them. So if you have the opportunity to socialise with your colleagues, OP, I would take it!

hgotsparkle

Tbh, I don't have any good friends in my immediate team, its the ones who work in a different area to me that are the people that I get on best with. Theres a group of us now, of about 7 that regularly go out for drinks and meals, theres always new people joining us and we really do get on well. When one of us leaves, we have a big farewell night out and theres usually a lot of tears!Just let it happen naturally, the best friendships always happen that way.

Shas21

Just be yourself.

If conversation topics/chit chat come up that interest you, then do join in. Why not?

I don't think your co-workers will think you are over stepping the line, particularly if you have something interesting etc to add to the conversation. If they chit-chating generally around you, your co-workers may feel you are ignoring/distancing yourself from them by not involving yourself.

So i would say, go for it, but don't try to impress - just be yourself

shiny76

I'd like to think of myself as rather sociable. I tend to get on better with people outside of my team. In fact I hardly make any effort to get on with team mates - but then I work in IT so any social occasion tends to be painfully awkward.