ChildLine to teach all UK primary schools about abuse - what do you think?

CATS

I was reading this and got me thinking, have other parents had the talk with their children about abuse?

I think mine was 4 and starting school when I sat him down and explained that his private parts and his body were just that, his and no one including mummy, daddy, teacher, priest, uncle etc should be touching him there and that if he felt uncomfortable he should tell someone. At around this age I also taught him to wash his privates himself, with my supervision of course, but really wanted him to know that it was not ok for others to touch him and make him feel uncomfortable .

Do other parents do this or do you not bother with that chat?

whitewing

Will the schools tell the parents...

Will the children who need help the most be at the sessions.

I was watching the Madeleine McCann reconstruction on Crimewatch earlier in the month and Kate McCann was saying about how naïve Kate and Gerry had been etc etc about !!!!!philes etc. But they are both doctors, Kate was a GP. I wonder if Childline would be better going to GP surgeries. NB not meaning to offend anyone, and not a witchhunt against the McCanns,

DevilsAdvocate1

I didn't speak about private parts specifically. I have told them about strangers and not to go off with anyone, even if they offer sweets. My middle son was snatched from a shopping centre when he was 11 months, so I've always had this on my mind (I got him back after catching up with the snatcher in the car park).

I have also talked to them about how people who hurt others don't necessarily look ugly or bad.

Errata

Childline will talk to the kids about physical and emotional abuse, not just sexual, and talk through where a cold could ask for help if it was having seven bells knocked out of it by a 'doting' parent.

Hermia

I think it might be a good idea for this information to come from a third party (as well as parents). I don't have kids, but I have noticed that some of my friends tell their kids to be wary of strangers etc, but don't cover what to do if a loved one hurts you. I expect some parents find it difficult to imagine that a family member could be an abuser so don't talk about this as much as stranger danger.

barbarawright

CATS wrote: »

I was reading this and got me thinking, have other parents had the talk with their children about abuse?

I think mine was 4 and starting school when I sat him down and explained that his private parts and his body were just that, his and no one including mummy, daddy, teacher, priest, uncle etc should be touching him there and that if he felt uncomfortable he should tell someone. At around this age I also taught him to wash his privates himself, with my supervision of course, but really wanted him to know that it was not ok for others to touch him and make him feel uncomfortable .

Do other parents do this or do you not bother with that chat?

Sadly some parents will be the actual abusers so it isn't really in their interests to have The Talk. It's almost unheard of for child abuse to come to light because children come forward and anything at all that creates a climate for children to discuss these things and be told that it's not their fault and they won't be punished is surely a good thing?

[Deleted User]

As someone who had a very bad childhood.., and who was told constantly in every possible way it was their fault.., (and yes it was parental abuse).., I am not sure how childline could have convinced me it wasn't my fault at an early age. A consultant did try asking me what was going on.., and I denied it all (I was about 12) because I thought it was my fault (although his questions were very general but I realise now what he was asking).

Because it was 'hidden' it was very difficult to confront, psychologically even as a teen although by age 15 I was trying to tell people. My abuse wasn't sexual, but it affected every aspect of my life.., emotional, physically, psychologically. I didn't know every day if I'd survive til the next day.., but I felt it was all my fault. It was all I knew.

I wrote these poems and sent them to the NSPCC, and they did ask if they could use them. I hope they helped someone.

Why?

A child is beaten, left crying and so terribly alone.
A child who believes that it has to be their fault
When parents show anger.
Searching for answers when no questions
Can be asked,
Searching for fault where there is none,
Hearing only words of blame,
Instead of words of love,
Where a touch means pain
Not softness and comfort.
So, alone and deserted that child
Learns self hatred.
No-one else to blame.

Why 2?

The child learns that if something is wrong
Its them, has to be them,
For parents are gods to the child.
The child learns in the odd happy moment,
It can’t be allowed, only exists to be crashed away,
By those who should surely know better.
The child learns to hide deep within ,
The secret guilt,
He breathes it with every shy gasp of air,
Trying to not be seen or felt or heard.
The child learns to be alone,
Because that’s all he deserves
Its all that is said, everyday,
In every meaningful way.
The child learns in deafening silence,
Amidst shouts of overwhelming anger,
That defeat is inevitable.
Unable even to stay standing once the blows start.
The child learns to be scared of trust and ‘love’
Because it is love that does this.

The child has nothing to cling to, all look away,
It is secret even to those with half open eyes.
So the next time you see a child, being too very quiet
A child that doesn’t seem to know how to talk
Or to play, or even to make friends,
The child that everyone says approvingly
‘oh, he’s so quiet, he’s no trouble, no trouble at all’,
Remember these words as they hide from the world.
Don’t expect such a child to do more
Than deny most convincingly,
What they see and feel every day.
Somehow its better than knowing
That all they know is chaos,
The only certainty that someday soon,
It’ll happen again.
After all, its them.., its just them
That’s wrong.

bylromarha

Please be assured teachers do already have these discussions in class.

I've talked through physical/emotional/sexual abuse with my class of 5 year olds in a level appropriate to them. It's very story based- but covers things like Bob (the puppet) has a mum who says unkind words to him, what should Bob do?

The majority of children know who they can talk to should they be experiencing abuse, but in majority cases, the power of the abuser over the child means the child is too afraid to speak for fear of repercussions.