struggling to accept disability

LostandAfraid

I think you are actually amazing to be able to acknowledge that there is a need for acceptance over the things you cannot change,i am sorry,i know very little about your type of disability so can't offer you practical advice about it but I agree with sunnyone,think about what you can do and do not pain yourself with what you cannot.


My illness is mental illness,i spent years and years looking forward to being cured,you see many people with mental illness do indeed overcome it or manage the symptoms but some don't.


I was about 17 years into it when I was offered counselling to help me accept my illness and the fact that I would be on very high dose medication and need a lot of help for the rest of my life barring a miracle,i have to say it did help,it helped me to see that I am not just an illness but a person outside of that illness too if that makes sense,perhaps your doctor could arrange something like that for you?


You too are not just a man with an illness,i know it affects you deeply in many ways but you are a still the same person,you are a husband who is loved,a man who has a personality and who despite being unwell still has a lot to offer.


The thing I draw positive from is that I take nothing for granted,i have been ill for most of my adult life but prior to that I did take things for granted a bit,now I appreciate every little thing,the sun on my face,the music I love,the beauty in every sunset because those little things are treasures to me that used to pass me by so yes in many ways I do feel I am losing out in life but in others I am gaining so much by noticing and enjoying those small things that I didn't before.


It's okay to be upset sometimes,who wouldn't be? But if it is getting too much please have a chat with your doctor and see if they can suggest some extra support.

lemontart

whilst not in your situation, I have over the last years seen a major change meaning now use stick or wheelchair when out and often struggle indoors. also in constant pain and found out through reading a medical report that I a decease of lumber and cervical discs as well as waiting to fine out cause of other issues now MS all but ruled out. Now knowing things are not going to be the same again and possibly get worse was fright,

But it is a case of concentrating on what I can do and not what I can no longer do and taking it a day at a time. That change only came a few weeks ago after I had reached rock bottom and attempted to end it.

But now things looking up as no longer dwelling on loss of independence in some areas and frustrations in many-not to mention learning to put aside my stubborn streak and letting others help and actually asking for it - home changes in offing with rails and other changes to help getting around and reduce falls, new man in my life who whom I have known 14 years as friend so has a pretty good idea what he is letting himself in for. and general acceptance of family and understanding from all I am not able to do what I used to from DIY to golf and even walking up snowdon which I did for my 50th 2 years ago.

It is hard and I truely wish you the best xx