What have I been doing for the last 10 years???

Domayne

Hi Kazwookie
I'm pretty sure you guys are right, that I haven't had a real lbm or a bright enough bulb because as I'm figuring out this week...a lot of my life is not negotiable. Like the £50 to my niece. I'm not giving that up - I don't really see the big thing in that one and why everyone pokes at it...when its nearly the same as my phone bill...except my niece is MUCH more important to me and I'd rather give up my phone than that saving for her.
The game...well I have cut down. I've spent £32.66 this month so far which isn't anything compared to what I used to spend, so if I can keep it to that amount every 2-3 months, I'd be happy enough with that but I won't delete my account, I've worked hard on it, have friends there and enjoy it...I'm trying to stop smoking, I don't drink, don't hardly go out, don't buy clothes hardly ever so I feel like the game isn't a big deal if I CAN keep it to that 32.66 every 2-3 months...
The credit card I'm going to apply today but I'm hoping that I don't mess up my credit even worse than it already seems to be by my equifax report (375) by applying for a transfer last month and cancelling one yesterday Living on £10 a week, well I could try it as a challenge for a week or a month, but I couldn't make that a lifestyle choice I don't think, at least not every single week for forever

*Vikki*

Domayne wrote: »

Hi vikki, thank you for reading and posting! from reading alot of diaries on here over the last few months, it seems our stories are not all that uncommon, I think we just came from a generation that handed out credit like sweets without anyone to really explain the implications of them and now boom...most of the country is in debt :rotfl: For the first 9 months I was working though, I was only doing 30 hours a week as securities receptionist and barely making 700 after tax so that's when I took the overdraft and first credit card, and was living way beyond my means, then that job was abolished and they asked me if I wanted to do security, this was the days before you needed a licence so I said sure why not rather than suddenly have no job and a few k in debt but I've worked on quite a few sites doing security now, been at this current one for 3 years next march andso far its the highest paid one and will go up by another 2-3% in april, im not in a huge hurry to leave here yet. Do you have any room for promotion in your current job? Or could you perhaps talk to your manager about a pay rise?
I have started a spend diary with an app on my phone which is brilliant and keeping me on track quite a bit, and the current phone contract is up for renewal on 16th December so I will see about cutting it down then, the only thing I really need is the unlimited data as I don't text/talk very much tbh.
I did actually speak to my sister about what would happen if she had more kids as I probably won't be able to save £50 a month for all of them :rotfl: but she said she only wants to have 1 more and then I will probably just half it and they will get £25 each and now I've set up a standing order to my nieces account that goes on the 1st of each month so ill just worry about future babies as and when they arrive xD
I haven't gone through my stuff yet no, been dragging my heels a bit with that one because im somewhat of a hoarder and don't actually WANT to sell anything I know this will probably sound quite stupid/naive but the thing is that my outgoings are really quite small, my debt is not that huge and I don't want to have to sacrifice everything I own and everything I do because im already starting to think life is blah, you know? Do you feel bad that you sold any of that stuff? Or do you miss anything? I sold my exes ring on ebay but it was more...because i was trying to let go of him, and holding his ring was a bit of a hindrance Do you feel like you have learnt and wont make the same mistakes again?
smoking is a huge financial drain so im trying to quit, REALLY trying and ive wobbled a few times mainly on weekends when im bored or socially, but I am giving it everything I've got and even when I fail, I haven't just given up and started again, I just keep on trying. ..all I can do really
I've been bringing home made lunches/left overs to work from home for the last two weeks which has definitely helped the finances as before I was spending around 7-8 a DAY on food! I'm really lucky though that my dad fancies himself as a master chef and likes taking over all of the cooking and has been packing them up for me to bring in to work :rotfl: Today I had left over homemade chicken pie but I'm annoyed because I left it at home, too busy playing with my pup lol, im not going to buy anything though, just have some cereal and fruit that I have here!

Hiya, yeah good point re generation of credit, doesn’t help does it. Ive never known my working life without a credit card or some kind of debt! and before that my family were starting to get in debt. (Parents owe £150k on credit cards!) So there is obviously a lack of control which runs in my family with money and misfortune as some was when they were out of work, bills etc. Oh okay kinda makes sense re your job, are you still in security? Reason I ask is I am taking voluntary redundancy should get about £23000 and leaving my employment of 11 and half years. I leave end of March 2014 and then have to job hunt! (looking from now) so might be something id like to try as talked about it before. ITs scary times as I need to find a job as I do not want to spend this money! I want it to go towards a house to match my boyfriends deposit. But this needs me getting a job!

Ah cool im not sure how those spending apps work. I started my spending siary in 2010. Im not sure how I should interperite really? But it’s a nice way of tracking my money when my accounts don’t show the up to date balance!

Yes data is all I use on my phone. Ive never had a mobile contract, not a proper 18 month one. Im with 3 just changed from orange due to rubbish signal. I get 200 mins, 500 texts and unlimited data. Its great '3' for data! No caps on it. But check for signal in your area. Yeah I can understand not wanting to sell anything. Don’t of you don’t want to but just have a think. Is there like old mobile phones you don’t use anymore, old cames consoles or bags you no longer want or use? No point keeping them is there, so I sell! Its great getting pounds for stuff you don’t want. I feel bad I sold a necklace apart from that I cant really remember what I sold I did the same too with an engagement ring my ex gave me. He dumped me and part of letting go was selling it last year. A lot of my debt was to do with him! I have learnt trouble is with me when I want something like a new car, or new laptop, phone or gadget and I don’t have the money I borrow. As the urge to want it out doos any money saving or sense. I just have to have it, I cant sleep thinking aboout what I want. But I realise I just cant do this when I have a house so saying NO to myself now. But boy is it hard, I got a list as long as a toilet roll at the moment with stuff I want! But cant afford lol!

I am trying to diet and can only imagine from my experience with saying no to Cadburys and snacks how hard it must be to say no to a ciggie! Hmm your dishes sound lovely, your lucky! Wish I had that! Just my own boring chicken and mustard hard sandwiches lol

[FONT=&quot]What breed of puppy do you have?[/FONT]

Domayne

Wow at 150k on the credit cards! Its so easy to do though isn't it? and you don't really think while your spending it, Or you just kind of fool yourself into thinking that its not real money or something? 0.o My mum encouraged me to get my first credit card...my dad is the sensible one who doesn't believe in credit cards/loans etc, he's that generation of...if you want something then you save and pay for it yourself so he was pretty disappointed in me when he found out and around the time I first got myself into debt, he won some compensation claim so he gave my sister and I 5k each, she bought a car...I paid off my credit cards then put it all straight back taking my sister and me to Ibiza :rotfl:
Seems I've never learnt, no matter how much my dad preaches...
I still do security...I'm not sure that I would recommend it unless you have a REALLY high tolerance for boredom tbh as its a lot of sitting/standing around doing nothing and mostly it seems to be 12 hour shifts...I've had some sites that have great people which makes it a lot more fun, I've worked on sites where its literally just me, myself and I for company without even a pc so I had to read/do a lot of puzzles to keep myself entertained :rotfl: This current building im in is quite beautiful, I love my building manager, I have 1 colleague but she is on the other side of the building so I don't really have anyone to talk to unless we spend all day on the phone to each other (which we do often lol) one side has a pc...which at least keeps me entertained for half of the day lol but the other side doesn't...so that side gets boring. but the money is good, you don't have much (if any) stress, your boss doesn't generally hang around looking over your shoulder...I dunno, I would say yes if you can handle long shifts + alot of boredom!
I will look into the 3 contract soon as I only have a month-ish left on this current contract! :j I don't have insurance or anything though and recently lost my phone (about 2 months ago) so had to pay for a new one, so no spare ones lying around unfortunately As for consoles, I only have a playstation (the original :rotfl: and tbh...I don't think they sell for very much these days? With only 3 games...Spyro gateway to glimmer (or something?) Abes exodus and kula world...and I love all 3 of those games, I don't play them very often, but sometimes I get a craving to revisit my youth and have a little play...not that I'm any good at any of them!
As for my ex...when we broke up, It never felt 'over' you know? He was still saying he loved me bla bla, then suddenly he met this new girl and he didn't...but I don't know, its been 2 years and for some reason, I can't let go I've been with other guys after but somehow they just don't seem to compare now I just can't be bothered with men period, all they seem to do is annoy me Your ex sounds like a ^&%&^ as well, Did he at least help you pay back the debt he helped you run up?! :mad:
You sound a lot like me in that respect as well, I have ZERO patience and when I want something, I want it NOOOOW...How to change the habits of lifetimes vikki?? :rotfl:
Hard sandwiches? Have you tried putting them in the microwave? :rotfl: I'm fat as well...I have negated to add this info...I'm the queen of withholding information I think? I also have a lot more than 3 stone to lose...more like 6 But I will worry about that after new year....
I have a little shih tzu puppy called Jackson, He's 6 months old...well technically, he's not mine...I bought him, but I bought him for my mum...yet he feels like mine, I love him to bits! He's naughty though and likes to bite and scratch me xD (In a playful way...but trying to get him to stop, well its proven fruitless so far....) Do you have any pets?

surfsister

have you thought of using ovivo for your phone ? you pay £20 for a freedom sim and get 300 texts and 150 mins a month and only pay if you go over this allowance. it might save you lots - if you go over the allowance just don't use the phone. (vodaphone based I think)

Also can you consolidate your credit card bills into one?? I'm sure martin lewis recommended this on one of his tv shows.

Domayne

Hi surfsister, That phone sounds like a pretty good deal but to be honest, would be no use to me since I don't use the minutes/texts I have currently and only really need web access (as for half the day I sit at a building with no pc, and for the most part its the only thing keeping me sane...) As for my debt, luckily it is on one card
My problem though is not really my debt (Well it is a problem, not my main one however...) its more sticking to a budget that I have given to myself, £70...which I realize might be a lot since it doesn't include bills or anything, and I HAVE been living on less for the last few weeks (20-25) but I figured 70 would be a good starting point (and more than half less than I was spending a few months ago!!) but that's also relying on the fact that I continue not smoking as well...
However I feel that people are not really listening to what I'm saying ( or typing as it were) and giving unrealistic suggestions, such as survive on £10 per week...My straits are not quite that dire and I neither have the will nor inclination to live on so little. Sure I could pay my debts back much quicker if I did this, Then I could also save alot quicker...but I'd have no life whatsoever and my already fragile mental health would be a lot worse than it is right now I think Maybe my lbm has not truly come yet, Maybe I am delusional and need to get real who knows but I think this will be my last post on this board

Chrysalis1976

Hi, I'm sorry that you feel that some are not listening however I do feel that you came here for advice and have been given it, whether you choose to do anything about it is your choice but to knock it is a bit ungracious.

People have mentioned your spending money because it is large especially when you have so much debt, great that this is a fraction of what you used to spend so well done for that.

I think that perhaps you need to think about your plans a bit clearer, and maybe take some time to live on the reduced budget and keep a spending diary to help you. Then come back with a way of deal with your debt if that's what you truly want to do.

Whatever you decide, best wishes.

Domayne

Hi Chrysalis, Thank you. Your right in that I did sound very ungracious in my last post, which wasn't how I meant it to sound Today is a REALLY bad day for me, struggling with this no smoking thing and fighting urges to go and blow money that I don't really have on crap that I don't need and I just feel really angry and annoyed, not at anyone here but at myself because I know that people are right...yet I just can't do it. I'm grateful to people who have taken the time to read through my self pitying crap...which by the way I realize I have done a lot by having a read through the last few pages, and I'm thankful that people have tried to help me and given me advice, but I don't know what the heck I'm doing. In life, with my finances or ANYTHING really, right now I feel like I'm just floating along, living on auto pilot, living the same day over and over and the only time I feel happy, is when I'm spending money, which is counter productive and I don't know, maybe I'm just super sensitive but some advice has felt more like judgement and in a round about way telling me that I'm an idiot...which I'm already aware of.

MuffinTops

Hi Domayne,

I think I do understand that your lightbulb is so dim based on what I've read. Your debt doesn't scare you, other than not wanting to run up to a double figure debt again and everything you're doing to pay those things off feels like you're having to go without and deprive yourself (from comments you've made).

Yet you're very tenacious when it comes to your really important outgoing, namely the savings account for your Niece (no negative comments about that from me). You put that money aside no matter what and you don't ever consider drawing money from that because getting a life starting savings account for your Niece is so important to you. So, can you find something in your life for you that is equally important that you can drum up this tenacity for?

What I've read you seem very motivated by a gain but are currently focussed on the losses, so I think your main focus should be on working towards your gain. Find something you'll gain when you get your debts to 0. If it's a deposit on a house then maybe expand that thought to something you really want, like having your own house where you can have your Niece and any future addition come and stay with you where you get her (them) all to yourself for that time. Something like that? Play to your strengths to get your head enjoying this journey rather than feeling it a chore. That way you start really looking around for ways of boosting the debt busting and saving rather than listing the things you go without. It's so much easier to go without something when that puts you a step or two closer to your gain. Am I making sense?

Your gaming choice is interesting to me. I feel it reflects your loneliness and maybe that you're not happy with yourself? I'm not a counsellor so I won't say anymore, but if that rings true maybe think about how you can increase your social life a little. There are non-dating websites out there that can help you get out and meet new people without it costing much. I can let you know the 2 I know of if you're interested.

Anyway, well done on keeping the effort going on giving up smoking. There's that tenacity again!

Chrysalis1976

It's hard sometimes to get across what you mean sometimes when it's just typed and especially when we don't know each other personally.

I think MT has written a lovely post and agree with what has been written, some people can write much better than me.

Just take one step at a time, the pathway may be a bit unclear at present but hey things can change in a flash and some take a bit of maturing.

Please keep posting, C x

queenidiot

Hi Domayne!

Please keep going with the diary, you're doing fine! You made a really helpful comment to me about this being a learning curve and nobody being perfect at it straight away - you should listen to your own advice more

Your savings for your niece show that you can do it, you just need to find a strategy that works for you (easier said than done, I know )

Good luck!