Need to help elderly parents - Secrets out!!

Bella54

and would 'facing up to reality' help with PPI and bank charges. That's the help I asked for.

ILW

Bella54 wrote: »

and would 'facing up to reality' help with PPI and bank charges. That's the help I asked for.

Sorry, but PPI and bank charges are just tinkering around the edges if the figures you quote are correct.

lindsaygalaxy

If you can afford it and do so without getting into trouble I would buy the house and let them rent off of you - as long as they pay off the debts!

margaretclare

Kolokial wrote: »

I salute you Bella54! I'm helping my mother with her debts, I found out about it when I moved back home, and didn't realise how bad the situation had got. She's now really happy that I'm helping and it's relieved some stress from her. This site is brilliant, and the best advice I can give for your parents is to have them watch all of Martins videos from YouTube and try to direct them to this site as much as possible!

Good luck!

Unfortunately that won't work. OP says they're clueless with computers. If they weren't, a lot of helpful things would be possible.

In a previous existence I had experience of debt, sub-prime lenders, 'bucket shop' mortgage providers. Been there....but I learned. Sounds like parents are stuck in the mire of - credit, more credit, credit to pay off credit, loans, high interest (do they even know what the APR was on the first or second loan - probably don't even know what APR means) and it all just racks up. Sorry to say this, but selling up, clearing all debts from the proceeds, and seeing if they can get into housing association or local authority sheltered accommodation may be the best option. There's nothing to be ashamed of in doing this. DH and I know several people who've done it, just for the freedom of not having their own house to maintain, redecorate, garden etc and freeing up some capital to live on. Bear in mind that they're spring chickens yet and can easily live another 20 years! Although you say they're elderly, they're almost a decade younger than DH and me, with a lotta living still to do.

I would not like it if I found that anyone dear and close to me had been digging into my credit-worthiness, not that there is anything to find even if they did. And writing about my money affairs on a forum like this - no, I shouldn't like it at all.

ViolaLass

Bella54 wrote: »

and would 'facing up to reality' help with PPI and bank charges. That's the help I asked for.

Won't solve the problem long term if they've been spending 'to keep up with the Jones''.

margaretclare

Bella54 wrote: »

and would 'facing up to reality' help with PPI and bank charges. That's the help I asked for.

Well, it might help in the sense of going 'back to basics' and working out how they got into this mess in the first place and making a definite decision and commitment never to get back into it. It's often spoken of as a 'lightbulb moment'.

First one taken out in 2006(15 years) with Swift. Borrowed 45K and have been paying monthly since then and still owe 44K.
Second one with Lloyds taken out in 2007 (10 years), Borrowed 10k and still owe 7.5K.

Loan (1) with Swift (who are well-known to be a sub-prime or 'bucket shop' lender i.e. dealing mainly with those who are a poor credit risk. In 7 years they've been paying monthly but have only paid off £1K? Something definitely stinks here.

Loan (2) - hard to believe why Lloyds would agree to this only a year later, but...

Loan (1) should be the priority. A maxim I learned from DH - always pay off the most expensive debt as quickly as possible. Martin has also written a lot along the same lines - as they're not computer-savvy maybe print some off and shove under their noses?

patanne

I know this won't make much difference but have you checked that your parents both have a tax allowance of 10500 not 9440 which is standard. Not a lot I know but it is £100 a year each. Is the income shared reasonably equally between them to take best advantage of their tax allowances? It may not seem much but is this situation every little bit helps. After all their after tax income if reasonably shared would give an annual income of over £23k. Have you been able to get them to fill in a statement of affairs so that at least they get some idea of where their money is disappearing to, even if they don't show it to you?

I am afraid that unless they face reality then even selling up is not going to help, because if they continue to spend more than their income they are going to land up being evicted from a rental property for non-payment of rent. Are you sure they have told you about all their debts?

I think you are trying to do a really good thing but I don't think you are getting all the information unless you check on all 3 (equifax etc). Because something could come out of the wood work. Have you asked if there are any charges on the house (other than the 2 loans). This would show up of course of you were to buy. But there are various negatives to that idea.

Bella54

thanks to all for the help

My parents are 70 but both seem older. I know a lot of over 65's and they seem younger and much more able than my parents are. They don't know how to turn a PC on but are very aware that we have done credit checks. They gave permission and received the pin numbers etc through their door. They did have other debts that they did not disclose though no more charges on the house.

I agree that selling the house would be a good idea and would also free up a bit of cash. However they wont hear of it. My sister and I may have to buy it from them. Its something we will consider.

I am not scrapping around looking for PPI. Looking at the credit files it seems to me that they got into this mess with Blackhorse loans and a few credit cards then getting a loan to pay off and doing the same again. They have never lived the high life. Both are in ill health and its doubtful they will make it into their 80's. Just looking to help them in their last decade and save them from avoiding the phone and worrying all the time. I am sure that some PPI and charges had added greatly to the mess their are in.

I agree that's its not great posting on a form about someone elses problems but I have tried to change a few things to protect their anomy and really am hoping to help them with a few pointers from people on here.

Thanks for the tax info- we sorted that out a month or so ago.

Bella

margaretclare

You're right about PPI. This was almost certainly mis-sold and parents could claim for this. Anyone who is on retirement income has no need of PPI because they cannot lose their income through e.g.unemployment, redundancy etc which is what PPI is really for.

I know what it feels like to be not living the high life but have money going out as if through an open drain, money spent as if on the 'high life', anything but. Been there...

It's a pet peeve of mine that people of the same age-group are all regarded as being the same. I agree with you - we're not!

I really do think that selling up and going into sheltered accommodation would be the best option and I'm sorry if parents have their heads in the sand and won't even consider this option. I know several people who've done this and say it was the best thing they ever did - the freedom, company when they want it, privacy when they want it, no responsibility of a house which can get to feel like a millstone around your neck.

Quite apart from anything else, I resent the fact that so much good money is going down the drain and that people are being misled into taking on these unpayable loans and debts. I really hate it. But that, again, is from bitter experience.

I can't suggest anything else. I'm sorry. Just at the minute I've got my eye on the weather because we're supposed to be flying off on holiday to Spain tomorrow. We're more towards 80, will never see 70 again, but we have a comfortable life. Not rich - would be richer if it hadn't been for some mistakes made in an earlier life, and that's why I can empathise.