Help getting somebody a date!

CC-Warrior

Being single isn't an inferiority. On the contrary, it holds many benefits over coupledom.

I didn't like it when people used to try and set me up with random strangers, just because in their eyes I "needed someone". It's embarrassing.

Unless she's specifically asked for help, don't do it.

justmel

I can't stand all of this 'fixing up' business,some people do not want to be fixed up and are happy to be single,they do not need a well meaning friend arranging a date.


My daughter was recently persuaded to go on a date by a well meaning friend,her last relationship was a disaster and it dented her confidence so a couple of friends decided to fix her up with a guy because it would 'do her good'.


She was hesitant but agreed when they kept pushing,she met with the guy a few times and thought it was going well until a few days ago when he said he likes her as a friend but no more than that.


Confidence is now dented again,my daughter is not upset about the guy in particular,she did not know him well so was not attached but she is now asking herself 'What is wrong with me?'


Relationships in my experience work out much better when they are born out of common interests or an initial friendship but more importantly when they happen naturally and are instigated by the two people involved and not a friend who thought it was a good idea.

bitemebankers

RFJ wrote: »

she's very fussy about the type of man she'd like to go out with....Won't tolerate anything, like nothing.

She needs to get over herself, or face being single for a lot longer. And you, my friend, are on a fool's errand.

DigForVictory

Unless she's asked you for help, I'd go very quiet.

I can think of three single souls without breaking stride who would emphatically not thank me for rocking their boat & who can put forward very coherent cases for staying single thankyou. If I weren't happily married I'd be in complete agreement with them.

Indeed it's quite possible I'm their token married with children friend!

nickj_2

she might want to date one of my friends , he's looking for the ideal woman , he's in his 50's now and hasn't found her yet .... they sound like the perfect match . although he's not highly ambitious or successful he has got an amazing singing voice , he's a soul man

SandC

My friends would probably also say I was fussy and won't tolerate anything. Truth of the matter is, that's just when it comes to who to date. I don't see the point of dating for the sake of it, dates with randomers are not exactly 'fun'. There's plenty of stuff very early on which could be deal breakers for me..... so they will see me as being intolerant.

However, they are so wrong about me when it comes to being in a relationship. If there is a 'spark' then I will go for it. I will compromise left, right and centre and I am rarely selfish, but on the other hand very giving.

I suspect this lady is similar and comfortable being on her own. If she hasn't asked to be fixed up then I really wouldn't attempt it.

There is nothing wrong with being 'fussy'.

bitemebankers

SandC wrote: »

There is nothing wrong with being 'fussy'.

On the one hand, I'm inclined to agree with you. There's certainly no point dating for the sake of dating (unless the very act of dating random strangers really floats your boat - I've heard stranger things).

However, I'm sure we can all bring to mind someone we know who is their own worst enemy when it comes to finding a partner. I know one or two women in their 30s who have a list of must-haves and must-not-haves as long as your arm, as if there were a pool of solvent, clean-living, childfree 30-something men out there just saving themselves for the "right" woman. You just know they're going to be single until they learn the art of compromise.

Tropez

We only actually have the OPs word for it that this woman is "fussy".

There could be a number of reasons he/she regards her as fussy, including but not limited to, asking her out and being knocked back

bitemebankers

Tropez wrote: »

We only actually have the OPs word for it that this woman is "fussy".

True, but that's the same with any thread of this nature. And, in many ways, it doesn't really matter: we can still debate the issue as stated, regardless of whether it accurately relates to a real world situation.

I take your point though. For some people fussy = doesn't want me.

SandC

However, I'm sure we can all bring to mind someone we know who is their own worst enemy when it comes to finding a partner. I know one or two women in their 30s who have a list of must-haves and must-not-haves as long as your arm, as if there were a pool of solvent, clean-living, childfree 30-something men out there just saving themselves for the "right" woman. You just know they're going to be single until they learn the art of compromise.[/QUOTE]

True, but strangely, those are the people who are actively looking for someone - and bemoaning it to all who will listen - they have laid a criteria out that those who are content being on their own simply don't have.