Messy split...looking for advice.

Madfish

My wifes friend split with her husband after he cheated a couple of years back, hes currently living with his new girlfriend and trying to force her to sell the house (even texting her at 4am). They have 2 kids which she is working to support and cannot afford a solicitor. Each update grates me as i'm sure that she should be able to get help on this matter. I have included some points below that hopefully a legal eagle may be able to help with...

* They have a joint mortgage, approx 95k still owed. With about 50k equity.

* He is not paying ANY child support!!!!.

* He stopped paying any money toward the mortgage about 12 months ago, so she has made all the payments since.

* He seems too thick to understand that if the house is sold he will only get half the equity, i'm sure he thinks he'll get half the house sale cost as he's useless with money apparantly.

Would be grateful for any advice to pass on to her as she seems very down about the whole thing, she has a full time job and is does not want to go on benefits, which i'm sure would happen if she was forced to sell. Does anyone have any experience with these issues??? Thanks in advance

bloolagoon

Madfish wrote: »

My wifes friend split with her husband after he cheated a couple of years back, hes currently living with his new girlfriend and trying to force her to sell the house (even texting her at 4am). They have 2 kids which she is working to support and cannot afford a solicitor. Each update grates me as i'm sure that she should be able to get help on this matter. I have included some points below that hopefully a legal eagle may be able to help with...

* They have a joint mortgage, approx 95k still owed. With about 50k equity.

* He is not paying ANY child support!!!!.

* He stopped paying any money toward the mortgage about 12 months ago, so she has made all the payments since.

* He seems too thick to understand that if the house is sold he will only get half the equity, i'm sure he thinks he'll get half the house sale cost as he's useless with money apparantly.

Would be grateful for any advice to pass on to her as she seems very down about the whole thing, she has a full time job and is does not want to go on benefits, which i'm sure would happen if she was forced to sell. Does anyone have any experience with these issues??? Thanks in advance

She wouldn't go on benefits as she would have £25,000 so unable to claim them.

He has the right to any equity and she will have to pay for a solicitor or come to an agreement. I think they may allow her to stay but it will really have be done via a solicitor.

If his name is taken off the mortgage could she get a mortgage in her own name for £95,000?

lika_86

bloolagoon wrote: »

She wouldn't go on benefits as she would have £25,000 so unable to claim them.

He has the right to any equity and she will have to pay for a solicitor or come to an agreement. I think they may allow her to stay but it will really have be done via a solicitor.

If his name is taken off the mortgage could she get a mortgage in her own name for £95,000?

Presumably you mean £120k (£95k+25k)?

FBaby

How old are the kids? How much is she earning? Assuming both their names are on the deeds?

To enforce the sale of the house, he will need to take her to court. The question is what would a judge order. The usual response is that a judge wouldn't enforce the sale of a house where young children reside

HOWEVER, I have shown by my solicitor that is commonly not always the case any longer. What I was told was a judge would assess the situation as a whole, on one side the need of the other party who wants to sell (ie. does he have more children under his care, his or his new partner) and they are prevented to buy and somehow being affected by it (ie. can't rent in the area where these children go to school). On the other hand, they would look at whether the sell would greatly affect her children in the same way. If her salary and equity allowed her to buy a house and pay for the mortgage where her children could have a reasonable standard of living, then it is not totally impossible that a judge would go with an order of sale.

However.... that's a lot of 'if', the biggest one being that to take her to court, he would have to pay for the fees etc... Is he really prepared to go that far? If I were her, and she indeed isn't in a position to afford to buy something else with the equity, I would tell him to get lost and come back when the youngest is 18 yo.

Saying that she DOES need to see a solicitor, because if she is currently paying for the full mortgage, she needs to protect the equity SHE is raising herself now. When I was in this situation, my solicitor advise me to get the house valued upon his stopping to pay the mortgage and was going to sign some sort of document to make it clear that I would be taking on the full mortgage costs from day x, so that at the time of selling, I could make a case that he should only be entitled to the equity up until the time he stopped paying. In the end, I was able to buy him out which makes things much simpler.

Madfish

Thanks for all the reply's

How old are the kids? How much is she earning? Assuming both their names are on the deeds?

6 and 11 years old, not sure how much shes earning. Things are tight though, and yes both names on the mortgage.

She is being pressured into selling (even by the new girlfriend). He is currently renting with her (moved into her house) no kids on her side as far as i'm aware so it's just them. He wants the money so he can buy a house but in truth after selling and costs involved they would both be lucky to get 20k each when all is said and done, and even with a deposit of that size neither would be able to get a mortgage by themselves. I doubt he has the funds to get a solicitor involved either.

I suggested to my wife that first port of call should be the CSA as she is supporting both kids herself as he is refusing to pay for them until she sells (nice guy huh?), apparently she is afraid that will rock the boat even more and make him more bitter. She has also been advised that while he is on the mortgage he has the right to enter the house whenever he wants. Another option would be to enter into an agreement where they agree to sell the house when the youngest child reaches 18, would anyone know what this would cost to get drawn up (all according he agrees, which is doubtful).

Thanks for the helpful posts so far.

Madfish

If his name is taken off the mortgage could she get a mortgage in her own name for £95,000?

I'm guessing she would need a mortgage of around 115-120k to payhim his equity share?

angelsmomma

She needs to make a claim to the csa. It is the children's right to be supported by both parents.

Once she has that sorted out she will have the some money left from her wages to pay a solicitor.

clearingout

Please encourage her to go to the CSA. It may well make him more bitter but he's made his bed and he can lie in it. She's waited long enough for him to do the decent thing. Depressing that we have yet another new partner happy to stand by a man who refuses to support his children and who is happy to put pressure on someone directly without having any real understanding of the situation. Where do they find 'em? My ex seems to have an endless supply!

It sounds like he's done a pretty good job of destroying her self-esteem and ability to see the wood for the trees - par for the course in these situations but she can come back from this, thousands of us have. She may find the advice and support on wikivorce.com helpful and encouraging in helping her work out what her rights are legally and in understanding everything she is feeling is normal and that she's not alone. I don't know what I would have done without that site. Give her a (((hug))) from me and tell her it'll get sorted and she'll be OK but she needs to understand the processes to be able to stand up to him properly.

angelsmomma

clearingout wrote: »

Please encourage her to go to the CSA. It may well make him more bitter but he's made his bed and he can lie in it. She's waited long enough for him to do the decent thing. Depressing that we have yet another new partner happy to stand by a man who refuses to support his children and who is happy to put pressure on someone directly without having any real understanding of the situation. Where do they find 'em? My ex seems to have an endless supply!

It sounds like he's done a pretty good job of destroying her self-esteem and ability to see the wood for the trees - par for the course in these situations but she can come back from this, thousands of us have. She may find the advice and support on wikivorce.com helpful and encouraging in helping her work out what her rights are legally and in understanding everything she is feeling is normal and that she's not alone. I don't know what I would have done without that site. Give her a (((hug))) from me and tell her it'll get sorted and she'll be OK but she needs to understand the processes to be able to stand up to him properly.

Who will probably be on here in a year os so moaning that they can't afford child support for the ops kids now that they have their own.

lissadenton

Beverly careful with legal aid. They can really rack up a huge bill. My cousins came to £25,000 and most of it was to do with the kids. She had a share of the house so they knew they would get money back.

Now 25 years later and aged 54 she will finally have paid it off next year!