Can't see the wood for the trees - please help!

onmyown_3

I am a regular MSE'r, but thought it best to use a different name.

Me & OH are at the dregs end of our marriage. We have 3 children and a large mortgage.

OH has always been the breadwinner and me a SAHM - due to his work commitments. I have just started a full time job - however the salary is only £12,000 pa. The monthly take home wouldnt even cover our mortgage never mind the other outgoings.

I need somebody with a clear head to help me - please.

For me to keep working I would need OH to take and collect our youngest from school, which as he now works from home shouldn't be an issue. For all our 'couple' problems he is a decent man and an excellent dad. As he would be taking quite an active role in child minding would I still be able to ask for maintenance? Are there benefits I could claim? Would this mean I would no longer be able to work? Is it worthwhile me working? Would any money paid to me from OH be classed as income when working out benefits? Would I get any help paying the mortgage?

If we were to sell our house, after fees etc there is probably about 85K equity - would this be split 50/50? Even if it were I would not be able to get a mortgage on my salary.

I am sorry for so many questions, but as it is in the early stages I do not want to go public yet.

Any other information you think might help would be much appreciated too.

TheWaltons_3

Is the house in joint names?

If not, perhaps you could stay there, pay the rent to him and let him move out and rent somewhere else.


You would get Tax Credits.. CSA from your husband (which isn't taken into account as income for Tax Credits purposes).

dora37

Why not contact the IR to see what you are entitled to?

poppyscorner

Right firstly sorry for your troubles can't be a nice situation for anyone.

With regards to your questions will help as much as I can although never been through this myself but read lots and lots on here.

You can ask for maintainance from him whether it be a private arrangement or through CSA you can go to CSA website and use their maintainance calculator based on his wages, but please note that if he has the kids for more than 52 nights a years the amount will be reduced to compensate for it.
Also note that if you were to claim IS then I am almost certain it has to be done through the CSA and any amount over £10 per week is deducted from what you receive.

With regards to the house sale I think you may get more than 50% given that you have the kids.

You don't say whether you are married or not but if you are then that opens the door to pensions and shares etc as you gave up your career to be a SAHM then I am led to believe this is looked on in your favour go and have a look at https://www.entitledto.com it will tell you your entitlement to benefits and tax credits.

It may be worth you posting this message on the benefits board the people there are generally more knowledgable about the benefits system.

Try and keep things amicable (easier said than done I know) does OH know any of this or is he in blissful ignorance really think you should talk to him.

Hope I have helped a little
Poppy