Advice please

quickq

Deleted.....

Richard53

See her, go out together, get drunk, enjoy each other's company, and whatever happens, happens.

Life's too short.

krlyr

If you haven't been close friends in a while, I would wonder if it's the friendship she's really worried about ruining, or if she's thinking a one night stand would ruin the chance of a relationship.

Would you really want to stay just friends, never saying anything? I would consider what you have to lose if you fess up that you'd fancy a date.

paulineb_2

quickq wrote: »

I'm so not sure what to do.

me and my partner broke up recently, after 3 years.

Now i've been doing the usual of getting drunk etc. but recently got in touch with an ol friend, and after 3/4 weeks told her I actually really fancy her. Now this was after the two of us went drinking together, had a cracking night etc. now drunk talk insued, where the practicalities of us having some fun together were discussed. (she just got out of a relation few weeks before me). Anyway we got close, but neither of us is ready for a proper relationship, so this would be messing about only, or atleast for a while. She seemed keen, but then said it may ruin our blossoming friendship which i do get. Ended up being nothing that night, just a quick peck.

i've just seen her since, and it's slightly weird, because in my mind shes being abit flirty etc, but we have had banter all the time, so im not sure of the root of all this.

basically i'm not sure whether i should bring it up again, or just leave it in her court.

the more i think about it, the more i actually really like her, more than just physical. but i dont want to broach the subject if shes not interested, as that just makes things awkward. I certainly dont want to lose her as a friend, we geton really well and have loads of fun.
but just looking for advice, in my shoes, would you say something casually, or just leave it.

my head says leave it alone, but i dunno.

Maybe its time to cut down on the drink and see if you like one another and fancy one another when alcohol isnt involved.

DKLS

Stop overthinking it, invite her out to a gig/meal and see what happens.

Alikay

Sounds like she could be interested in being your girlfriend but doesn't want a fling/friends-with-benefits type thing. Lots of girls feel like this, though many don't admit it and end up feeling short-changed when their F Buddy finds a new girlfriend having availed themselves of her body for some time in between girlfriends.

Just continue seeing her and having a good time without getting hammered or trying to get her into bed, and see how it goes.

thorsoak

quickq wrote: »

I'm so not sure what to do.

me and my partner broke up recently, after 3 years.

Now i've been doing the usual of getting drunk etc. but recently got in touch with an ol friend, and after 3/4 weeks told her I actually really fancy her. Now this was after the two of us went drinking together, had a cracking night etc. now drunk talk insued, where the practicalities of us having some fun together were discussed. (she just got out of a relation few weeks before me). Anyway we got close, but neither of us is ready for a proper relationship, so this would be messing about only, or atleast for a while. She seemed keen, but then said it may ruin our blossoming friendship which i do get. Ended up being nothing that night, just a quick peck.

i've just seen her since, and it's slightly weird, because in my mind shes being abit flirty etc, but we have had banter all the time, so im not sure of the root of all this.

basically i'm not sure whether i should bring it up again, or just leave it in her court.

the more i think about it, the more i actually really like her, more than just physical. but i dont want to broach the subject if shes not interested, as that just makes things awkward. I certainly dont want to lose her as a friend, we geton really well and have loads of fun.
but just looking for advice, in my shoes, would you say something casually, or just leave it.

my head says leave it alone, but i dunno.

How recent is recent? Two weeks? Two months?

How long after the breakup did you have your evening out?

Why not drop a line to the person concerned saying - great night out ...that you'd like to repeat it sometime but maybe with less alcohol involved? And take it from there! Good luck!

yalena10

How about , you grief and take your time. What's the rush for you ?

quickq

Thanks for the advice everyone. I think i'll cool my jets and just see how things go.

Not sure about the relationship part, 2 reasons, which i should've mentioned before:

1: she, and i, both said we werent ready to be in relationships.
2: she's said she couldnt see her self in a relationship which her partner had kids.

Anyway, not the end of the world if shes not keen to pursue t, just wanted some advice. My mates arent the best at that, and theres more drama than a double bill special of eastenders in my grp now.

quickq

yalena10 wrote: »

How about , you grief and take your time. What's the rush for you ?

No rush, just my prev relationship was on the rocks for sometime, so whilst im saddened, unless things change drastically for both parties, a recovery is not going to happen. The grieving took place over the course of that period

hazyjo

No need to stick a label on it. Just go out, don't rush it, enjoy each other's company, and see where it ends up.

Jx