Desperate for help - child rights.

silkyuk9

My son has split from his partner, they have a 16 month child. As the relationship has ended it has become very tense. the ex will not allow my son see his child and has cut off all communication, this includes phone and text, she will not even reply to the solicitor letter that has been to her regarding access and possible mediation. they both live opposite side of the country to its not just a nip round the corner. She will not communicate through us or even any family member. No one official has said that my son cannot see his child, its only her who will not allow it that is why the first solicitor letter has been sent.

My son as we are are absolutely devistated but my son is suffering really badly here. I really fear for him as this is a grave situation. I have sent messages to the ex brother but no reply, even though I have explained how I feel as I watch my son. I feel my son is going to end up in a hospital or something.

At present he has no job as he has left one where he lived and has another but will not start fro another 4 weeks, to be honest that is good as he would not be able to hold this job down. He is not on benenfits and I have started to pay solicitor costs but we are desperately in debt too. As he has no income at all can he get help with costs? But in the mean time while all this slowly moves forward has he any right to see his son?

This has destroyed our family, he has done nothing wrong to make his ex stop seeing his son its just how she wants to punish everyone for the split up.

I am in desperate situation as I watch my lad go down hill health wise as we sit at home waiting for news of his son which does not come.

System

Although ive no experience i would imagine he would be able to get legal aid.

gotnodosh

Unfortunately Legal Aid in most Contact cases has been stopped and he will have to pay for it. Here is a guide what Legal Aid is still available.

http://www.rightsofwomen.org.uk/pdfs/Legal/Briefing_for_WA_WWA_members.pdf

I hope your son can find a solution.

FBaby

Good on you to be there to support your son, however, from personal experience, I would strongly advise to stick to just supporting him, not get involved in the actual battle.

This has destroyed our family, he has done nothing wrong to make his ex stop seeing his son its just how she wants to punish everyone for the split up.

That you don't know. You know what your son has told you, but in these matters, there are almost always two sides to a story, and one you won't know anything about it.

I wish your son good luck gaining access again and getting on with his new job so he can contribute towards his child's needs.

Molly41

I was in a similar situation myself when my eldest son was a few weeks old and the only way I could cope was to cut off contact with the father. I was not punishing him - it was just a coping mechanism. How about trying to approach her yourself in a kindly way and see if that helps?

silkyuk9

Molly41 wrote: »

I was in a similar situation myself when my eldest son was a few weeks old and the only way I could cope was to cut off contact with the father. I was not punishing him - it was just a coping mechanism. How about trying to approach her yourself in a kindly way and see if that helps?

communication has broken down there is no contact what so ever, no one know how the little lad is getting on as she will not reply to any form of communication.

Im so worried for my sons health, hes really suffering and there is no support network available to us.

pops5588

silkyuk9 wrote: »

Im so worried for my sons health, hes really suffering and there is no support network available to us.

You are each other's support network however I do agree with a poster above who says try not to get involved beyond supporting your son emotionally as it probably won't help matters.

Is your son prepared to travel half way? He is doing the right thing trying to initiate mediation but it might be useful for him to sit and have a think now about the compromises he is prepared to take to the table. Good luck.

RAS

Your son needs to get over to Familes need fathers and the wikidivorce web-site where he can learn how to apply for a contact order.

He needs to ask for mediation (and will have to pay for that); two lettters from himself, sent from separate post-offices with free certificates of posting. Failing to accept a request for mediation does not go down well with the courts.

You need to take a back step as he has to do the running on this one. He will have to represent himself in court (really just a big table with peopelk sitting round it).

Voyager2002

It is disturbing that she has not responded to communication from a solicitor, nor from other family members. Does your son have any reason to believe that his ex is depressed or otherwise unable to cope? In his situation I think I would contact social services in the district where his child lives and ask them to make contact and ensure that all is well: depending on their response he could decide on his next move.

Was your son married to his ex, or at least named on the child's birth certificate? This is what determines whether he has 'parental responsibility', which makes a big difference to the legal situation.

I do suggest that your son sign on for Benefit, and once he starts work see if he can get any means-tested benefits. Receiving one of these benefits probably give him exemption from court fees, and might make legal aid available IF the report from social services indicates that this is a question of child welfare rather than simply contact.

FBaby

I would be very careful about contacting social services at this stage as this could just make her even more determined to cut contact as she will inevitably take it as an act of revenge. At least he could warn her via solicitors that this is what he intends on doing if he doesn't hear back from her directly our via solicitors.

silkyuk9

pops5588 wrote: »

You are each other's support network however I do agree with a poster above who says try not to get involved beyond supporting your son emotionally as it probably won't help matters.

Is your son prepared to travel half way? He is doing the right thing trying to initiate mediation but it might be useful for him to sit and have a think now about the compromises he is prepared to take to the table. Good luck.

We are trying emails that all as all other forms of communication have been blocked. My son is heartbroken and has tried everything, at present its going through solicitor but its a slow process, also no legal aid which has a knock on effect as each hour of her time is £160. This cost we are having to pick up.

Mediation has been suggested in letter but no reply to it as yet.