Freelance and JSA

m0rgana

Although your partners salary is high, if you're in London your rent will probably be high too, so I'd also put in an application for housing benefit.

We own our own home. I don't think they help you out if you have a mortgage any more do they?

I'm not worried about that at the moment as his salary can cover the repayments (we deliberately did not include my income when we calculated how much to borrow as we knew my job was less stable and that I might want to give it up to have kids soon anyway) but it's the effect on my independence that is the issue for me.

ALIBOBSY

Whilst I am sure we all can have some sympathy with what you are saying. The reality is you and your partner have made a commitment to each other, to support each other through thick and thin. It would be completely unreasonable to expect tax payers money to be spent on keeping you "independent". If you want independence don't have relationships.

Personally both I and my husband see our relationship as a partnership and I cannot see anyway for a partnership to last any length of time when people insist on being 2 independent people who happen to live together. It's ok at first but over time things change and you have become "joint" or things simply won't work.

Over the years we have been together I was originally on a lot more money than OH, then about the same, then him more, then me part time (after first 2 children).

BTW I believe there still is mortgage help, but it only covers interest payments not repayment (for obvious reasons), but it only applies to those on income based JSA and your partners income will stop you getting this.

Best bet maybe to concentrate on maximising your income and cutting back as much as possible. TBH if you were thinking of having children now maybe the time to sit down and work out a reduced budget. Then if you decide to go for it you will already be living on that lower income and it will be no hardship when the first bubs comes along.

Perhaps see this as an opportunity to start the next phase of your lives together?

Good Luck
Ali x

m0rgana

ALIBOBSY wrote: »

Personally both I and my husband see our relationship as a partnership and I cannot see anyway for a partnership to last any length of time when people insist on being 2 independent people who happen to live together.

We don't. We have a joint mortgage, which I personally see as a bigger commitment than marriage. We are absolutely sharing resources - but can you not see that I feel bad about myself for never contributing much? This thread was basically prompted by an argument we had on Saturday when he said I had 'better sign on' because he doesn't want to support me forever. He retracted that comment later and admitted that it was because he's been wishing he could jack in his very stressful job recently. But who would not feel a little bit guilty hearing that?

I think the original discussion has become moot tbh, I not know that it's probably not me worth looking into benefits because I'll earn more with my business, even if it is minimal at first.

TBH if you were thinking of having children now maybe the time to sit down and work out a reduced budget. Then if you decide to go for it you will already be living on that lower income and it will be no hardship when the first bubs comes along.

I have to admit this had crossed my mind too. But sadly it looks like it might not be possible for us - which I think is another reason why this is affecting me so badly. I won't go into why the topic are connected, but you may figure it out.