Cant stop spending...

Daydreamer2011

Morning everyone

I have to admit, I'm a shopaholic but yet I don't own designer shoes, handbags or clothes, in fact I hardly have any of these!!

I just can't stop spending money, the minute I get paid or get some money my mind says its OK to treat myself and my boyfriend and I have no willpower to stop.

This has resulted in me being in debt and having monthly payments that really limit my life.

Please don't judge me on this, but a month ago I got PPI refund of £1,100 (a months wages) and now its all gone. I put £200 on my debt, my car ironically broke down which cost me £350 and the rest just went. I brought my boyfriend a couple of presents as he is so good to me with helping me out I wanted to thank him and I spent a week with the flu so couldn't be bothered to cook and had takeaways every night.

So I'm back to square one!! I am really good at budgeting and when I run out of money I survive and can live on little but I need to sort out my mentality when I do have money as it does feel like its burning a hole in my pocket and I need to spend it and my mind will talk me into it saying I deserve this.

I've tried moving my money into different accounts but it doesn't work as I can easily transfer it across.

My disposable income after bills and debt is £200 unless I get bonuses. I have already gone through my bills etc and there is nowhere to cut down, it is my debt repayments which are £200 a month...

I am just after some advise from other people who may have been in this situation before and managed to get out.

Thanks

DD x

opinions4u

Don't carry cards or cash when you're out of the house.

YORKSHIRELASS

Oh I wont judge you - because I am the same. I have come to accept that there is something deep in my personality that makes me want to spend money. Deep down I think I will always believe that having new shiny things will make me happier and more likeable. I want my kids to have the best brands, I want a new car and I want my house full of up to date trendy things. The trouble is I cant really afford any of these.

I am slowly working my way out of debts that were once nearly £25k. For me its about controlling it and the way I do this is by keeping a very tight rein on my budget. I have spreadsheets analysing my spending and I know constantly how much my debts are. Seeing it in black and white every day makes it real.

I also shop cleverly and allow a small amount for treats. Nice house things can be found in Matalan or Asda for example and sometimes a scented candle is enough to make me feel like I have bought something.

Some people would just tell me to get a grip but I dont think its as easy as that. The short answer is that I dont know if you can completely change - but you can learn to manage it. And I am sure we are not on our own with this - the pressure to keep up with the Joneses is massive these days.

YORKSHIRELASS

Sorry just thought of something else. Dont go shopping. If it has become something you do on a weekend find a cheap hobby or interest instead. If you work in town do something else on a lunchtime. If internet shopping is your thing come on here instead. This is a habit you CAN break! Good luck x

datlex

I find it helpful to put aside a sum at the start of each pay period. I personally get paid weekly (at the mo for example I have two funds saving up- one for car insurance, the other for other saving such as fixing car/ saving for a sofa to replace the futons I'm using at the moment). I also put aside the money to pay bills- into a different account. Then the money I have left it is available for spending. At the end of each week if I have money left over it goes into the saving for a sofa/car repair fund. But I just noticed re-reading your post that you don't find splitting money works as it is easy to move money back........

Another thing I do is to use a credit card which earns me points to pay for things such as my rent, council tax and certain travel expenses. I then get a voucher every 3 months to treat myself to something in the store. I also sometimes get a discount voucher which can be used in conjunction with the points voucher. I know you can get them for a number of different shops- you do however need to be disciplined and pay the balance off in full each month. Also they are not an excuse to over spend. I use the vouchers to get money off things I already planned to get. For example only this week, I used a voucher towards a new pan set which I needed to replace the existing pan set I had which was falling apart at the handles- it was a cheap set and I wanted something better quality. (Original price £120 I paid £29 combining a voucher and sales discounts).

ColdIron

YORKSHIRELASS wrote: »

Sorry just thought of something else. Dont go shopping

The best advice yet

Daydreamer2011

Thank you all for the advice

I am lucky enough to have the support of my OH who will help reign me in so hopefully with all your advice I should be able to come crack this.

My new rule is, if I have the urge to buy something, I'm going to wait 24 hours and decide if I NEED or WANT this item, if it is a want, I walk away if its a need I will see I there are other ways or ideas to avoid buying it.

Fingers crossed!!

opinions4u

Daydreamer2011 wrote: »

Thank you all for the advice

My new rule is, if I have the urge to buy something, I'm going to wait 24 hours and decide if I NEED or WANT this item, if it is a want, I walk away if its a need I will see I there are other ways or ideas to avoid buying it.

Fingers crossed!!

2 proper sleeps minimum. Not 24 hours.

Gromitt

Read the MSE money mantras:

http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/shopping/money-mantras

Print and cut out the included card. Insert it in place of your credit/debit card. Read it each time you think of buying something.

Archi_Bald

Going by your sig, you need to remind yourself that you actually do not have £200 disposable each month. You have a shedload of debt that you need to tackle as a matter of priority.

Hop over to the debt free wannabee board, there are people who can help you if you want to be helped.

matttye

There's no magic advice that can be given, you just have to find the right frame of mind to stop spending.

Saying you'll wait 24 hours to think before buying something will only work if you actually do it, and only if it doesn't just end up as a delayed spend. If you just buy everything after 24 hours it won't solve any problems. Arguably you shouldn't need to think about whether something is a want or a need for 24 hours. If it's a need, it's a need, and you'll know it's a need straight away. If you're dithering over buying it then it's a want.

Maybe it will help to think about how much you can spend in the future once you've tackled all of your debt and it will be your own money you're spending?

Many, including me, find it rewarding to see debt go down / savings go up, so perhaps it will help once you throw more money at your debt and see it coming down.